Ten Things Guys wished that Women knew about Men

[chevalier]

As for my additions:

1. Men have feelings too, can sense subtleties and can be diplomats, as well.

We don’t get the hints that work amongst women simply because we weren’t taught the game. But we know our bit about human nature and we can sense a fake excuse, an insincere assertion, hidden contempt or disenchantment. It’s sad to see women think they can get away with some such things because we won’t notice. See the part about maths. And we can make our way through our women’s feuds just as well as our women can break us apart if we go to fists.

1. Many things are work the same for both genders and are equally bad for both.

Oggling chests and biceps is not any better than oggling girls in swimsuits. Admiring another man’s courage and strength is not better or worse than admiring another woman’s kindness and nurturing. Admiring a woman’s supportiveness is not better or worse than admiring a man’s protectiveness. Women talking about butts are not any cuter than men talking about butts. Fashion is not superior to football. Buying a 10th pair of shoes is not superior to buying another needless tool for the garage. Computer games are not inferior to romantic flicks. It’s just things the one gender likes and the other doesn’t, with plentiful exceptions from the rule at that.

 

[Phemie]

And it’s very romantic of a woman to go to the hardware store with the man. Is it only romantic when he goes pick the toe-nail polish with her?

In our case DH is more likely to have to accompany ME to the hardware store than vice-versa. As for toe-nail polish… I’m a very unpolished wife. No make up, no polish unless I’m in a play and then it’s grease paint. Never had the time nor the inclination to learn how to use makeup. What you see is what you get, whether you’re DH for an intimate night out or my girlfriends for a night out on the town.

 

[Phemie]

But we know our bit about human nature and we can sense a fake excuse

But apparently there’s some other fake thing that some men can’t sense or notice, leading me to believe it’s because they’ve never experienced the real thing.

But I’m at a loss to explain why a woman would resort to the fake rather than to strive to achieve the real.

 

[Norseman82]

While I like beer and I even like watching football from time to time, it’s not on my list of priorities and I don’t need to know which team is which or the names of the players. Just before someone says I’m not straight enough to play it, I once played it with both feet qualified for a minor surgery and not having proper shoes for the game, because my friends needed me. I just don’t care.

You realize that we are talking about the real football, not soccer, correct?

“Making sex a priority in marriage,” sounds wrong. Very wrong.

Nothing wrong about that at all. Sex is the difference between living as husband and wife versus brother and sister, as I was taught in my sacraments class.

 

[strngrnrth]

So I’ll take your top ten and raise you a, “no, you live with it.” Wow, I think you are missing the point.

Oh no you don’t. I’m the one that got away and I live happily without any of it.:bounce: I am baffled at some men’s assumption that whatever they announce they “want” and “are like” is guaranteed to be what happens – in my home. Just keep on thinkin’. If life with someone is worse than life without him I prefer life without him. That will always be the deal regardless of PR games like these lists and sites. It’s not an anti-man thing, it’s a livability issue and anyone who simply stands there telling me why and wherefore he will make my life miserable is going to see a lot of the door and not much of me.

 

[chevalier]

You realize that we are talking about the real football, not soccer, correct?

Ooops. Yeah, I know, just didn’t come to my mind. But it occupies the exact same place in European or Latin-American culture, where it’s referred to as “football”. While the game is different, the cultural impact, especially on men, is the exact same.

Nothing wrong about that at all. Sex is the difference between living as husband and wife versus brother and sister, as I was taught in my sacraments class.

It had a wrong vibe. We shouldn’t get too base, too basic, too physical. There’s much more to us than that.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex (Aldous Huxley)

While cheesy, the quotation shows well that making reproduction our main hobby is not very elevating.

Don’t get me wrong. The marital embrace is good, honourable and fine to enjoy. But when we make it “having sex” and we focus on it before everything else, it takes away from what we are. It sounded somewhat base to me.

Oh no you don’t. I’m the one that got away and I live happily without any of it.:bounce: I am baffled at some men’s assumption that whatever they announce they “want” and “are like” is guaranteed to be what happens – in my home. Just keep on thinkin’. If life with someone is worse than life without him I prefer life without him. That will always be the deal regardless of PR games like these lists and sites. It’s not an anti-man thing, it’s a livability issue and anyone who simply stands there telling me why and wherefore he will make my life miserable is going to see a lot of the door and not much of me.

I perfectly understand you.

For this same reason, I thought again and again and concluded that there was really no rush. If I ever am to marry, it needs to be a person I can live with - and yes, if living without is better, then sorry… There are some things common in relationships which I can happily live without. Some of them are actually covered pretty well by the list, if you just rephrase the points. Just as you, I don’t want someone making my life miserable, telling me how to live it, proving to me I’m an arrogant insensitive bastard. I know that without external help, thank you very much.

 

[estesbob]

If you ask me if you look fat dont expect me to answer.

If I dont notice you new hair style it probably becuase I am wondering why the Chiefs are so bad this year.

If I dont spit it out the dinner is just fine.

If I wanted directions Id ask

Shopping (other than at Best Buy) is a chore and should be completed as quickly as possible.

Just remember when you get dressed-i like your dress, i like your shoes, i like you earings and anything else that dangles or is on your fingers and dont ask someone who wears a bright green shirt with dark purple pants if your outfit clashes (whatever the heck that means).

If I dont say anythng that means the relationship is just fine.

 

[LilyM]

If you ask me if you look fat dont expect me to answer.

amen - as a woman I find it absolutely stupid that anyone would ask such a question. Except perhaps to a dearly beloved family member, and precisely BECAUSE they know that person will love them the same regardless of whether they’re 100 or 200 pounds. Any snippiness, therefore, at honest answers is ridiculous.

If I dont spit it out the dinner is just fine.

Just fine? We ask because we want a bit more feedback than that it’s ‘just fine’. We at least want to know if it’s a dinner you’d be happy to have every week or whether it’s the sort of barely-edible meal you’d only put up with once a month or less.

If I wanted directions Id ask

Since when does whether you WANT directions matter? If you’re not where you need to be and unsure exactly how to get there, you need to ask if you haven’t got a map. Obviously your own sense of direction can’t be trusted because it got you into the mess!

Shopping (other than at Best Buy) is a chore and should be completed as quickly as possible.

Ahh, but a little (just a little) extra time invested in said shopping means you get better quality products that don’t break down/don’t wear out as quickly/actually DO the job they were bought for, necessitating fewer future shopping trips

 

[estesbob]

amen - as a woman I find it absolutely stupid that anyone would ask such a question. Except perhaps to a dearly beloved family member, and precisely BECAUSE they know that person will love them the same regardless of whether they’re 100 or 200 pounds. Any snippiness, therefore, at honest answers is ridiculous.

When my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first child she came to me in tears and said “I feel fat” I responded: “heck, you are fat” My daughter to this day does not know how close she came to being an orphan.

 

[LilyM]

When my wife was 8 months pregnant with our first child she came to me in tears and said “I feel fat” I responded: “heck, you are fat” My daughter to this day does not know how close she came to being an orphan.

Ooh … that’s way different to the average ‘yes that skirt makes your bottom look big’ kinda comment that I was thinking of.

In fact, so much so that I reckon there are aliens out there who by the merest casual observation of our species would know that a pregnant woman is NEVER anything but but totally gorgeous and glowing …

 

[jman507]

Oh no you don’t. I’m the one that got away and I live happily without any of it.:bounce: I am baffled at some men’s assumption that whatever they announce they “want” and “are like” is guaranteed to be what happens – in my home. Just keep on thinkin’. If life with someone is worse than life without him I prefer life without him. That will always be the deal regardless of PR games like these lists and sites. It’s not an anti-man thing, it’s a livability issue and anyone who simply stands there telling me why and wherefore he will make my life miserable is going to see a lot of the door and not much of me.

Of course, of course. If I lived with someone who has a starting position that I’m am there to make to make that person’s life miserable, I’d say good riddance. If anything I don’t see that as anit-male, I just see it as anti-social. Granted one may be able to get along fine in most social circumstances, just not in intimate ones, where you have to live with a person.

The point of the list is not that it is a set of excuses justifying the reasons of why living with a guy will make you miserable. If you think that, then I would say, good for you saying you don’t want to live with him. You are not ready yet.

The point of it is that it is a starting point to try to understand things from a guys point-of-view. Is it going to be perfectly right in all cases? No. If you think that is what it is saying, then I suppose I could see one saying that it is promoting stereotypes. I don’t see that to be the case.

One must remember males are not females, but with a few different body parts. Then again perhaps the physiological point-of-view might be a better explaination. Males are females, except for early on as a fetus, the there are some major hormonal differences that result in some pretty remarkable differences, none the which are both express themselves in physcial body parts, and psycologically.

It is just a starting point. If I want you to do something, often it is better for me to stop first and think about what you would think of it. If I can figure out a good answer to the question, “what is in it for you?”, chances are if I can fold that into what I want, I will be able to get you to do what I want. That is not because I get what I want, but because I could also help convince you it can help you get what you want. If you make the mistake of thinking phsycologically I am your mirror, your going to make a lot of mistakes. There is a good chance you too may alienate me by doing something of which you are competely unaware would have any effect. To that I would say, your better off living alone. On the other hand, with a few changes, it doesn’t have to be that way.

 

[strngrnrth]

Of course, of course. If I lived with someone who has a starting position that I’m am there to make to make that person’s life miserable, I’d say good riddance. If anything I don’t see that as anit-male, I just see it as anti-social. Granted one may be able to get along fine in most social circumstances, just not in intimate ones, where you have to live with a person.

The point of the list is not that it is a set of excuses justifying the reasons of why living with a guy will make you miserable. If you think that, then I would say, good for you saying you don’t want to live with him. You are not ready yet.

The point of it is that it is a starting point to try to understand things from a guys point-of-view. Is it going to be perfectly right in all cases? No. If you think that is what it is saying, then I suppose I could see one saying that it is promoting stereotypes. I don’t see that to be the case.

One must remember males are not females, but with a few different body parts. Then again perhaps the physiological point-of-view might be a better explaination. Males are females, except for early on as a fetus, the there are some major hormonal differences that result in some pretty remarkable differences, none the which are both express themselves in physcial body parts, and psycologically.

It is just a starting point. If I want you to do something, often it is better for me to stop first and think about what you would think of it. If I can figure out a good answer to the question, “what is in it for you?”, chances are if I can fold that into what I want, I will be able to get you to do what I want. That is not because I get what I want, but because I could also help convince you it can help you get what you want. If you make the mistake of thinking phsycologically I am your mirror, your going to make a lot of mistakes. There is a good chance you too may alienate me by doing something of which you are competely unaware would have any effect. To that I would say, your better off living alone. On the other hand, with a few changes, it doesn’t have to be that way.

I didn’t start with assuming men are like women or that they wanted to make us miserable, I started by thinking life was a wonderful carnival of opportunities to learn about millions of different lives and ideas from lots of people and one day someone exciting would spend the evening talking to me about all kinds of neat stuff. But decades of attempts to make it work out like that turned me cynical about this whole men-women business. Saying, “No, ladies, you don’t get it, I want to treat you like a doormat, it makes me feel special about myself,” in however many ways it can be phrased, is not going to help anyone. We know. It isn’t rational or reasonable to expect a self-respecting person to accede to demands like that.

 

[whatevergirl]

Wow, #10 really got to me. Women like to HEAR nice words, we are more prone to using flowery language to make our points, where men are more action driven to ‘showing’ their love, so they assume it’s understood. My husband has often said that to me…‘would I be doing all of this, if I DIDN’T love you?’ (but he also has learned that I like hearing those words often too–not for reassurance, but because they make us women feel special)

I kinda knew the rest, but it’s always good to go through a refresher course thanks stbruno!

 

[SeekerJen]

Wow, #10 really got to me. Women like to HEAR nice words, we are more prone to using flowery language to make our points, where men are more action driven to ‘showing’ their love, so they assume it’s understood. My husband has often said that to me…‘would I be doing all of this, if I DIDN’T love you?’ (but he also has learned that I like hearing those words often too–not for reassurance, but because they make us women feel special)

Yeah, I kind of had to clunk my husband over the head with this one last weekend. I was all dressed up for a wedding, new dress, new shoes, I did my hair up, etc. I asked my husband what he thought. He shot me a quick glance and tossed off “Oh, you look good.” Good??? GOOD!!! NOT what I was looking for. “Beautiful”, “glamorous”, “stunning”, etc. would have been more than acceptable. Not “good” or “fine”. I don’t get all dolled up often so when I do, I like to know that 1) he notices it and 2) he appreciates it.

 

[chevalier]

I didn’t start with assuming men are like women or that they wanted to make us miserable, I started by thinking life was a wonderful carnival of opportunities to learn about millions of different lives and ideas from lots of people and one day someone exciting would spend the evening talking to me about all kinds of neat stuff. But decades of attempts to make it work out like that turned me cynical about this whole men-women business. Saying, “No, ladies, you don’t get it, I want to treat you like a doormat, it makes me feel special about myself,” in however many ways it can be phrased, is not going to help anyone. We know. It isn’t rational or reasonable to expect a self-respecting person to accede to demands like that.

Hoping for some kind consideration of one’s sensibilities has nothing to do with doormat. Don’t women like to be respected and cherished? It doesn’t work the exact same way with men, but we like to feel respected and important. The thing is that both sides need to adjust. We can’t have a male-centric perspective, but we can’t have a female-centric perspective either. If take as an example showing love vs telling it, obviously, we should send the message in such a way that the recipient could understand. But if the woman cares, then she should make the effort to get our message the way we are sending it. Consider the way you talk to a foreigner. You expect him to make effort and talk in such a way that doesn’t make you cringe as a native speaker. And yet you try your best to understand what he says. You wouldn’t turn down a compliment just because it were ungrammatical, would you? It works in similar ways with other things. One’s got to respect the other person and his boundaries. And I mean equal standards here. “I don’t expect you to go to the game with me, but I don’t want to go to that chick flick either,” “I will take your opinion into consideration, but you can’t pick every piece of my outfit every single day,” “we don’t need need stuffed animals and rifles in bedroom, but we don’t need pink walls either.” This kind of thing.

 

[Appleby]

Ten things women know about men that men wished we did not know.

1. When men say they “can’t” do something, that means they “won’t” do it. In most cases it means they will drive to the next county to find some woman to do it for them before they will do it themselves.
2. Men will always think poo-fart-burp jokes are funny, even after they pass the age of 9. They will always be shocked that we don’t think jokes about body noises and fluids are funny; in fact, they will always believe that this is due to some major flaw in us. No matter how many times we tell them that we do not want to watch “Porky’s” in any iteration or hear about their hilarious friend Junior who farted in an elevator full of diplomats at the Hyatt Regency Hilton, men will tell us anyway, and tell us that we have no sense of humour when we say we find it disgusting.
3. Men will not clean up after themselves, because they do not notice the mess. They are perfectly happy to eat lunch in a kitchen that the Board of Health wouldn’t enter in a biohazard suit, as long as they made the mess. Otherwise, even if the woman is working two jobs and she just got home from a business trip to Switzerland, he will point out that the kitchen is a mess and expect her to do something about it right now.
4. Men expect women to drop everything and listen to them, even when they are telling the woman something she does not care about in the least, and the thing we are supposed to drop is a complex fix to our website or live reporting on a 12 hour race – or a telephone call to our boss.
5. Men cannot understand or accept that we absolutely, positively do not want any advice on how to fix our vintage car. When we are reduced to shrieking at them to stop trying to elbow us aside on pain of death, they will accuse us of suffering from PMS.
6. Men always think that when we yell at them to shut up and leave us alone, it is because we are suffering from PMS. Whereas, when they yell at us, it is because we are not paying attention to what they are trying to tell us we are doing wrong.
7. When men yell “Did you see that?” they expect us to have seen it. If we did not see it, they will insist on telling us about it, even though we tell them we don’t care about it.
8. Men think it is funny to teach the parrot and the baby to make nasty comments about politicians or other people the men do not like. When the baby makes that comment to the priest, the man will protest that baby didn’t hear that from him.
9. Men will walk along through a crowd, holding their young daughter by the hand and making approving sounds about young women who dress and make up like tramps, and then will be surprised when their daughter is sent home from school for being dressed and made up like a tramp.
10. Men never grow up beyond the age of 14. That is, whatever he was at 14 is what he will be for the rest of his natural life. Ask his mother to show you photos and tell you about him at age 14. Govern yourself accordingly.

 

[whatevergirl]

Ten things women know about men that men wished we did not know.

1. When men say they “can’t” do something, that means they “won’t” do it. In most cases it means they will drive to the next county to find some woman to do it for them before they will do it themselves.
2. Men will always think poo-fart-burp jokes are funny, even after they pass the age of 9. They will always be shocked that we don’t think jokes about body noises and fluids are funny; in fact, they will always believe that this is due to some major flaw in us. No matter how many times we tell them that we do not want to watch “Porky’s” in any iteration or hear about their hilarious friend Junior who farted in an elevator full of diplomats at the Hyatt Regency Hilton, men will tell us anyway, and tell us that we have no sense of humour when we say we find it disgusting.
3. Men will not clean up after themselves, because they do not notice the mess. They are perfectly happy to eat lunch in a kitchen that the Board of Health wouldn’t enter in a biohazard suit, as long as they made the mess. Otherwise, even if the woman is working two jobs and she just got home from a business trip to Switzerland, he will point out that the kitchen is a mess and expect her to do something about it right now.
4. Men expect women to drop everything and listen to them, even when they are telling the woman something she does not care about in the least, and the thing we are supposed to drop is a complex fix to our website or live reporting on a 12 hour race – or a telephone call to our boss.
5. Men cannot understand or accept that we absolutely, positively do not want any advice on how to fix our vintage car. When we are reduced to shrieking at them to stop trying to elbow us aside on pain of death, they will accuse us of suffering from PMS.
6. Men always think that when we yell at them to shut up and leave us alone, it is because we are suffering from PMS. Whereas, when they yell at us, it is because we are not paying attention to what they are trying to tell us we are doing wrong.
7. When men yell “Did you see that?” they expect us to have seen it. If we did not see it, they will insist on telling us about it, even though we tell them we don’t care about it.
8. Men think it is funny to teach the parrot and the baby to make nasty comments about politicians or other people the men do not like. When the baby makes that comment to the priest, the man will protest that baby didn’t hear that from him.
9. Men will walk along through a crowd, holding their young daughter by the hand and making approving sounds about young women who dress and make up like tramps, and then will be surprised when their daughter is sent home from school for being dressed and made up like a tramp.
10. Men never grow up beyond the age of 14. That is, whatever he was at 14 is what he will be for the rest of his natural life. Ask his mother to show you photos and tell you about him at age 14. Govern yourself accordingly.

Time to meet some different men, appleby! LOL Wow…whatta list! The part about the burping, is sadly somewhat true.

 

[whatevergirl]

Yeah, I kind of had to clunk my husband over the head with this one last weekend. I was all dressed up for a wedding, new dress, new shoes, I did my hair up, etc. I asked my husband what he thought. He shot me a quick glance and tossed off “Oh, you look good.” Good??? GOOD!!! NOT what I was looking for. “Beautiful”, “glamorous”, “stunning”, etc. would have been more than acceptable. Not “good” or “fine”. I don’t get all dolled up often so when I do, I like to know that 1) he notices it and 2) he appreciates it.

LOL–yes, I have heard ‘good’ before. But, he does say often…‘wooooowwww…’ Which is my favorite. When my husband says wow, no other words can measure up.

We ladies like to HEAR nice things from your lips, men. My dh likes compliments too…but relating to accomplishments. “Honey, that you so much for getting the Verizon guy to come out and fix the tv…” Or…"Thanks so much honey for fixing the computer…taking my car for an oil change…making brownies for the kids…’

We’re all human…I think men and women have more in common than we think.

 

[GhostMan]

I wonder if this list was posted to - once again - show that the ratio of women on this forum who love to beat up on men versus the women who appreciate men is approximately 10 to 1.

If so, it has worked perfectly.

Recommence mocking men now.

 

[rayne89]

Wow a couple of the women on this thread are being pretty darn insulting to men, i don’t agree with strngrnrth and appleby. And some of the men aren’t being too nice either. Why does everyone make this so hard? Why is so hard to listen to someone’s story even if it doesn’t interest you obviously is does them, seems a small sacrafice to me. If you you love some you should show interest in what they’re interested in. My husband tells me long stories about work, a lot of it I don’t have clue about and can’t even visualize but I nod and listen, comment as best I can and ask a question now again. He works hard to provide for us, the least I can do is listen.

And really is so hard to say “honey, you look beautiful” instead of “yeah you look fat” ? Is it work? Does it take something out of you?

And I have never told my husband to “shut up” period. My husband and I do not treat it each other that way. Would you tell your boss, your priest, your doctor etc. to shut up? Why do we treat our spouses worse than then others? Being married to someone isn’t a license to be rude to them.

Really mutual respect goes a loooonngg way, make small little sacrifices -offer it up. Marriage is compromise, and it’s not 50/50 its 100/100.