Terrible consequence of a vow?

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Anthony36

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This question is really weighing me down, so much so that it is interfering with my day to day happiness and productivity. I made a vow to God to omit a certain activity, and to show God that I was serious, I vowed on pain of forfeiting all my blessings. I broke the vow one time, and I intend to keep it in the future. However, the fact that I vowed on pain of such a serious penalty is hanging over my head. So I have three questions:
  1. Do vows work like that? Can you vow to omit an activity on pain of a penalty that you choose, or is it soley God’s prerogative to decide what the penalty will be if you break a vow?
  2. I have read in the Catholic encyclopedia that a vow has to be for a greater good. The substance of the vow that I made is good, but is vowing on pain of forfeiting blessings considered to be good, and thus a legitimate and binding part of the vow?
  3. If it is valid to vow on pain of forfeiting your blessings, is there a way to get dispensation?
Thanks and Godbless.
 
Talk to your priest about it - without knowing the nature of your vow and precisely what consequences you have chosen for failing to fulfil it it’s difficult to give meaningful advice.

In general, failing to keep a vow certainly results in sin, the seriousness of the sin can vary greatly depending on the circumstances of the breaking. And if the vow includes a set penalty - it’s possible that failure to abide by that penalty is sinful too.

But discuss it with your priest, if he can dispense you from things like your Sunday or Holy Day obligation of Mass then he certainly can dispense you from a perhaps-too-onerous and not-well-thought-out vow.

Let it be a lesson to you in the future, the Gospels warn against unnecessary vows (‘let your yes be yes and your no, no’) for good reason.
 
You shouldn’t be making vows in the absence of spiritual direction. It is too easy to make an ill advised one.

Get to confession and get a spiritual director to discuss the issue.
 
Well … I don’t not know what you vowed not to do and that’s ok. Are you a catholic Anthony? If you are - here is the reason I ask. The reason is because when we say Amen before receiving Christ in the Eucharist - we are in a way making a vow; and when we go to confession and make an act of contrition not sin anymore - we are making a vow. As Catholics we believe that we are living in a covenant with God. It was a pious and commendable thing you did to vow not to sin but I do not think God is going to smite you because you slipped. This is why the sacrament of penance exists – because God knows that even when we say we’re sorry for what we do and that we promise not to it again that we are still imperfect and that some of us (or most of us) will need to go to confession more than once in or lives. I would go to confession and make that be your vow to God (in your act of contrition) to leave sin behind.
 
LilyM said:
Let it be a lesson to you in the future, the Gospels warn against unnecessary vows (‘let your yes be yes and your no, no’) for good reason.
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As does the book of Judges, chapter 11. (So much so that in folklore, stories that turn on a foolish vow are said to follow the Jephthah motive)

tee
 
Anthony36 said:
This question is really weighing me down, so much so that it is interfering with my day to day happiness and productivity. I made a vow to God to omit a certain activity, and to show God that I was serious, I vowed on pain of forfeiting all my blessings. I broke the vow one time, and I intend to keep it in the future. However, the fact that I vowed on pain of such a serious penalty is hanging over my head. So I have three questions:
.
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It is not possible to make such a vow on one’s own. to vow something drastic, or supernatural consequences or involving future behavior can only be done to one’s bishop or one’s religious superior and then only after long discernment, spiritual direction (and being of sufficient age and maturity). You can have made no vow, and therefore need not fear the penalties of breaking the vow. What you should fear is any sin involved, and for that, confession is the remedy, not discussion on internet forums.
 
Anthony36 said:
This question is really weighing me down, so much so that it is interfering with my day to day happiness and productivity. I made a vow to God to omit a certain activity, and to show God that I was serious, I vowed on pain of forfeiting all my blessings. I broke the vow one time, and I intend to keep it in the future. However, the fact that I vowed on pain of such a serious penalty is hanging over my head. So I have three questions:
  1. Do vows work like that? Can you vow to omit an activity on pain of a penalty that you choose, or is it soley God’s prerogative to decide what the penalty will be if you break a vow?
  2. I have read in the Catholic encyclopedia that a vow has to be for a greater good. The substance of the vow that I made is good, but is vowing on pain of forfeiting blessings considered to be good, and thus a legitimate and binding part of the vow?
  3. If it is valid to vow on pain of forfeiting your blessings, is there a way to get dispensation?
Thanks and Godbless.
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Hi Anthony…Be in Peace. Our God is a God of Love and of Mercy, Understanding Compassion. I would much rather have to deal with God than with some people - we can be so brutal and unkind with each other. God is never like this - He is Our Loving Father and not some Judge with a big stick ready to bash up all who step out of line in any way, as we can be with each other. This presents a false image of God. In fact, if God were such a judge, then we all - every last one of us - would be very bashed up and miserable people and always!!!🙂
It is best not to make a vow without careful thought and spiritual direction. But not all Catholics are aware of this and so if they make a vow without such thought and direction, there is nothing at all wrong. You cannot commit any sort of sin without knowing that it is sinful and you do it anyway. Hence breaking your vow is nothing sinful.
Many members present their problems in threads and posts, so dont be embarrassed or concerned about presenting your own…I hope that in these forums we would be about the spiritual works of mercy and trying to assist and comfort those with problems when we come across them. If we are not, then we need to examn our own consciences.
The Good and Gracious Lord we have would have loved you (and loves you) dearly indeed for all the good intentions you had when making your vow. Be in Peace! This same Lord does not want you in spiritual distress.
If you have broken your vow and are fearful, this is not from God…God is Great Peace and Joy. If you have broken your vow, God is not going in any way to punish you, especially since you made it without long thought and direction. Have a talk with a priest, either in Confession or by appointment to restore you to Peace and to Joy in God. This is His Gift to us!
Remember too, that one of the most important roles of our priesthood and priests, is to be shepherds of God’s Flock - always willing and eager, desirious, that God’s Flock should remain in Peaceful Joy in Him. So dont be embarrassed about talking to Father about things.
I have done things I should not have done…and so has everyone without any exemptions here in CAF membership or anywhere. We share a quite common humanity.

God’s Blessings and may He quickly restore you to Peace and Joy in Him…Barb:)
 
It seems to me that somewhere a while ago vows were discussed, and wht the OP is talking about is not a vow per se, but a promise.

Further, the OP would appear to have some serious problems weighing not only the seriousnes of a promise, but the seriousness of what they are supposedly giving up. This whole issue would seem to belie someone in need of some serious theological counseling, if not some serious psychological counseling. Such promises would seem to indicate a problem area that the OP is not adequately dealing with on their own; some intriguing (I am trying to be polite) views of who God is, who the OP is, what their relationship is and should be, and how one enters into a healthy and wholesome relationship with God. It seems to border on a bargaining with God about some matter, and would not seem the type of thing that this forum was designed for in terms of advice.
 
I hope it is ok to add a personal story here. Short one. Maybe similar.

YEARS ago (more than 10)I was afraid because I had a toothache. I had never had a cavity. I promised to God that if I would not eat especially sweets at night before bed without brushing my teeth, except if there was a valid exception. I had been doing that a lot, after overcoming a serious eating disorder and starting to eat more again.

I know I have probably halfway slipped a number of times, stretching this out… kind of, fruit is ok, candy is not… if I wake up after 3am and eat something it’s ok because it’s almost morning… I just realized it was too hard a thing to stick to always.

I then prayed to God asking of we could just “forget” about the promise and I’ll just try as good as I can anyway. Just like I should anyway!

I still struggle with this sometimes.

My experience with such vows is that usually they end up causing a lot of anxiety.

Kathrin
 
Kathrin said:
I hope it is ok to add a personal story here. Short one. Maybe similar.

YEARS ago (more than 10)I was afraid because I had a toothache. I had never had a cavity. I promised to God that if I would not eat especially sweets at night before bed without brushing my teeth, except if there was a valid exception. I had been doing that a lot, after overcoming a serious eating disorder and starting to eat more again.

I know I have probably halfway slipped a number of times, stretching this out… kind of, fruit is ok, candy is not… if I wake up after 3am and eat something it’s ok because it’s almost morning… I just realized it was too hard a thing to stick to always.

I then prayed to God asking of we could just “forget” about the promise and I’ll just try as good as I can anyway. Just like I should anyway!

I still struggle with this sometimes.

My experience with such vows is that usually they end up causing a lot of anxiety.

Kathrin
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Sound common sense…well said! …very well said indeed!👍
 
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