Terrified I might commit a crime

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null said:
I try to fast, but within a few hours my mood changes and instead of feeling repentant or scared for my soul, I feel secure again, so I don’t fast for more than a few hours, if that.
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Here is a page of links to talks on demonology–how the devil tempts us.

What you describe above is very typical. When you are trying to be good, the devil wafts all these thoughts before your mind of how bad you are and hopeless.

Then when he gets a chance, he encourages complacency and feelings of goodness.

You really need “real life,” phone or face-to-face, help in dealing with what you are going through.

In the meantime, go to Confession as soon and as often as possible. Go to Mass as often as possible–if your work will allow it, go to daily Mass, even if you have to ask your boss if you can come in a bit late for a couple of weeks. Pray as much and as often as you can without interfering in your work or family life, and as frequently as possible take a moment to just say Hello or Help to God.

And thsi is very important: the devil can work on your feelings, bit he cannot work on your will. Do you feel like God can’t forgive you? That’s a lie from the devil. Do you feel like everything’s fine and you don’t need to do any of this stuff? That, too, is a lie from the devil.

You need to *ignore your feelings *and operate with your mind. When the temptations aren’t there, you know they will come back, so pray, etc, to build up strength. When the temptations return, imagine St Michael standing next to you to protect you and impplore Christ to send the devil and his temptations away from you. *God is on your side and wants to help you defeat these temptations. *He needs to you rely on Him for help.

And keep working on contacting someone to help you.
 
null said:
For 99% of the time, I’m perfectly fine, and my sins are pretty small. But the other 1% of the time, I slip slowly into temptation, and eventually I get a very dark force surrounding and covering my forehead (I can feel it) and when this happens the world seems darker and all I want to do is a certain sin. But this certain sin is illegal, and will end up with me in jail. I already was arrested and went to jail for this sin a few years ago. And in the past few weeks I have been much more tempted to do this sin than all winter combined. I’m very scared because even though I have full control over my will, when this darkness comes over my head, my entire will is only to do this evil sin or something like it. This is why I am so scared, because even though I have full control over myself, in a way I almost don’t when this happens! And when the darkness comes over, it is 100 times harder to pray for myself, or to do anything but think of the sin.

EDIT:

This has been happening to me for many years, and it developed over time as a course of habit long before I became a Christian. This is why it reminds me of Mary Magdalene who Jesus drove 7 demons out of (presumably attacking via lustful temptations). I know 7 is the Biblical number of completeness which means Jesus can fully drive out demons from you and drive demons away from you. So what must I do to have this particular temptation (to commit this crime) fully removed from me, so it doesn’t overcome my will anymore? I know this question isn’t a prayer request but I am desperate. I have a wife and 4 kids to provide for, I can’t let myself go to jail. But I’m all out of ideas.
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Oh dear brother, I am surprised at you. You are an addict, plain and simple. There is no demon tormenting you, though that would be convenient for the purpose of letting yourself off the hook. No no, you are undergoing only that temptation which is common for men who’s flesh cannot stop lusting after the pleasures of this world. My what a superstitious lot this forum is. You decide: does this particular sin happen to bring you pleasure? Exactly. Listen, the sooner you stop playing mind games with yourself and everyone around you the sooner you can face your sinful behavior honestly and productively. Sure, you may very well have a mental illness. And yes, demons probably are tormenting you. But no, you cannot sense them any more than you can create superstitions with your mind and allow your imagination to run away with itself. That being said I weep for you, beloved child of God. You truly are being tested. The answer has already been given you but if you are not going to seek it honestly then it will not help. Either way i will reiterate them in three words: SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.

May God have mercy on your soul and restore you to everlasting life -

Zachary
 
Repeat the name of “Jesus” frequently
Angels of God please fill this house, please surround this man.
 
null said:
I try to fast, but within a few hours my mood changes and instead of feeling repentant or scared for my soul, I feel secure again, so I don’t fast for more than a few hours, if that.
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A few hours is not fasting. Try bread and water for 1 day. Start in the morning and have one large meal at the end of the day between 8 and 11pm. Drink lots of water.
 
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou oh Prince of the Heavenly Host by the power of God cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
JosieN said:
A few hours is not fasting. Try bread and water for 1 day. Start in the morning and have one large meal at the end of the day between 8 and 11pm. Drink lots of water.
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I’ve fasted before. When I was in jail for 7 days, I only drank water the whole time.

The problem is, in my cushy cozy life, my resolve weakens within a few hours.

Last night at 3am I asked my wife to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy with me in bed, I was so terrified. But now that it’s light out, and it’s beautiful outside, and my kids are having fun and everything’s going well, it’s hard to feel anything but happy, so I just ate a plate of delicious food, because my resolve weakened.

Anyway this is getting off-topic for the prayer-intentions forum.
 
null said:
I’ve fasted before. When I was in jail for 7 days, I only drank water the whole time.

The problem is, in my cushy cozy life, my resolve weakens within a few hours.

Last night at 3am I asked my wife to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy with me in bed, I was so terrified. But now that it’s light out, and it’s beautiful outside, and my kids are having fun and everything’s going well, it’s hard to feel anything but happy, so I just ate a plate of delicious food, because my resolve weakened.

Anyway this is getting off-topic for the prayer-intentions forum.
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Don’t wait…GO TO SEE A PRIEST! The “demons” have you because you have not confessed you mortal sins (as you told us in one of your posts). Confess and you receive God’s grace and they will flee. Do it while you are feeling well. Fast again. Pray again. Ask for your wife’s help often. (👍 for praying with her!) Fight your temptations BEFORE they overwhelm you. Keep yourself in a state of perpetual grace.

You can’t expect your situation to change if you don’t change your behavior. Temporary fixes won’t help. That’s why this has gone on for so long.
 
chefmomster2 said:
Don’t wait…GO TO SEE A PRIEST! The “demons” have you because you have not confessed you mortal sins (as you told us in one of your posts). Confess and you receive God’s grace and they will flee. Do it while you are feeling well. Fast again. Pray again. Ask for your wife’s help often. (👍 for praying with her!) Fight your temptations BEFORE they overwhelm you. Keep yourself in a state of perpetual grace.

You can’t expect your situation to change if you don’t change your behavior. Temporary fixes won’t help. That’s why this has gone on for so long.
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A year ago, the priest told me I was being scrupulous, and I should not go more than once a week to Confession.

Also, I prayed the Act of Contrition, and if you pray this prayer sincerely, there is a good chance God will forgive you of your mortal sins right there and then, even though you can’t receive the Eucharist until you formally go to Confession (probably to avoid Scandal).

But the priest told me that if I pray the Act of Contrition and resolve to confess my sins in Confession, and there’s no chance to go to Confession before Mass, I can still receive the Holy Eucharist. Originally I was worried he was incorrect, because I remember reading that this is reserved for grave danger (near death, etc). But I trusted it up to God that God led this priest by the Holy Spirit to say the right thing, and after trusting it up to God and thinking about it further, I realized that maybe God led him to say this because God knows that this is just caused by 20 years of habit, and therefore my sins are not as mortal as I think, even though they are very grave. Therefore I don’t see any scandal or problem with his advice.
 
He is absolutely correct as regards venial sin.

You described your state as:

“I am deeply in a state of very grave mortal sin.”

If your belief that this is a mortal sin is a result of scrupulosity, you need to keep the advice of your priest about confession. But, STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT IT IS MORTAL. You are causing yourself so much suffering! It also sounds like it may be at the root of your fear of demons.

I STILL BELIEVE THAT YOU MUST SPEAK TO A PRIEST. I am not shouting at you. I just want you to feel the strength of my concerns for you. You need to discuss your acute and dangerous current temptation to commit a crime. He can help! This isn’t about confessing. This is about spiritual guidance.

YOU ALSO NEED A THERAPIST TO HELP YOU TO HEAL.

:
 
pollylodges said:
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
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Praying for you!
 
Hail Mary
Full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And Blessed are the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death
Amen

I sincerely hope you find a priest and confide in him about this. But remember, Jesus knows, and all he wants you to do is to resist the temptation.
Love and peace.
 
Praying that the Lord may strengthen you and guide your actions. Also praying for all necessary graces for you.

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!
 
Wow! You guys must be super holy or something, because I’ve had a really holy end of my week! I literally turned down a chance to play video games this evening in favor of reading a book on the history of the Catholic Church. So awesome!! And I’ve barely felt tempted at all! Oh man I hope this lasts. (Except, last night I was facing extreme terrors all night, but I kept praying best I could and I made it to morning.)
 
null said:
Wow! You guys must be super holy or something, because I’ve had a really holy end of my week! I literally turned down a chance to play video games this evening in favor of reading a book on the history of the Catholic Church. So awesome!! And I’ve barely felt tempted at all! Oh man I hope this lasts. (Except, last night I was facing extreme terrors all night, but I kept praying best I could and I made it to morning.)
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Wonderful! :extrahappy:
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who
fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left
unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
 
null said:
Wow! You guys must be super holy or something, because I’ve had a really holy end of my week! I literally turned down a chance to play video games this evening in favor of reading a book on the history of the Catholic Church. So awesome!! And I’ve barely felt tempted at all! Oh man I hope this lasts. (Except, last night I was facing extreme terrors all night, but I kept praying best I could and I made it to morning.)
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Still praying:

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on me.
O God, forgive me for all the sins of my life;
The sins of my youth and the sins of my age,
The sins of my body and the sins of my soul,
The sins I have confessed and the sins I have forgotten,
The sins against others in thought, word, and deed,
My sins of omission.
O, my God, I am sorry for all my sins, because You are so good;
And I will not sin again with the help of God.
God be merciful to me, a sinner.
Divine Heart of Jesus, convert sinners, save the dying,
Deliver the holy souls in purgatory.
 
St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the snares and
wickedness of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray, o prince of heavenly host, by
the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all
the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
Prayers continuing…
+
O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven,
who brought forth the Son of God, still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity.
O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother.

O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth,
we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help us in this necessity.
There are none who can withstand your power.
O show us that you are our Mother.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.
Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands. Amen
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
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