Terrified

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katholikos12

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I am living in a lot of fear right now. I have done an incredible amount of research and historically, apostolic-ly, and scripturally, everything in Catholicism makes sense.

But my heart isn’t in it 😦 I know its the truth, but growing up in a non-denominational protestant fundamentalist community I am struggling. I am so used to the emotionally addictive environment of the fundamentalist community I am having trouble adjusting to the more reverent liturgical worship.

My family is formerly Catholic and family is anti-Catholic. Many of my friends are anti-Catholic and many of them are former Catholics. So I have little support in that realm. Additionally, I am moving and know no one there and can only hope and pray that I will have a network of Catholics who will support me. In the last two months of my voracious research I have had nearly everything I’ve been taught swept out from under me.

I am moving into a high stress job that I do not want to do, but feel that God is calling me to it.

I’m scared and I want to run away from everything. I’m 24 and I am literally scared to tears.

I feel pathetic venting like this, but this forum is the best support system I have right now. Pray that my heart will change and desire the CC and that I will have the strength to go on to what God has called me to do with a joyous heart.
 
Hi, just had to try to help. I left the Catholic Church for evangelical Christianity and was in it for some years (a decade). I know what you mean about the “emotional high” of praise and worship, I know how powerful it is. BUT there’s a huge missing ingredient in that environment: the Eucharist. The Eucharist is the center of our Liturgy in Roman Catholicism, it’s why we’re there, to gather around the Lord’s table and receive his body and blood, soul and divinity. That is true focus and it is not dependent upon emotion, it is the real Presence. As for anti-Catholicism, in my experience it is rampant in Protestant denominations (I heard it for years). I often wonder why this is so but don’t have to wonder long as Jesus, Himself, taught us that His people, those who follow His word, will have much to suffer. I don’t see or hear priests in the Roman Catholic church denouncing and defaming Protestant denominations from the pulpit but I heard it constantly in the evangelical Christian churches I attended. That, by itself, brought me back to my Catholic beliefs and practices and to my Church. Follow your conscience. Speak to the Pastor of the Roman Catholic church you are attending and look for a charismatic prayer group. A truly charismatic Catholic prayer group will fill your need for praise and worship.
 
ellzeena said:
Hi, just had to try to help. I left the Catholic Church for evangelical Christianity and was in it for some years (a decade). I know what you mean about the “emotional high” of praise and worship, I know how powerful it is. BUT there’s a huge missing ingredient in that environment: the Eucharist. The Eucharist is the center of our Liturgy in Roman Catholicism, it’s why we’re there, to gather around the Lord’s table and receive his body and blood, soul and divinity. That is true focus and it is not dependent upon emotion, it is the real Presence. As for anti-Catholicism, in my experience it is rampant in Protestant denominations (I heard it for years). I often wonder why this is so but don’t have to wonder long as Jesus, Himself, taught us that His people, those who follow His word, will have much to suffer. I don’t see or hear priests in the Roman Catholic church denouncing and defaming Protestant denominations from the pulpit but I heard it constantly in the evangelical Christian churches I attended. That, by itself, brought me back to my Catholic beliefs and practices and to my Church. Follow your conscience. Speak to the Pastor of the Roman Catholic church you are attending and look for a charismatic prayer group. A truly charismatic Catholic prayer group will fill your need for praise and worship.
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Wonderful response, ellzeena 👍

Katholikos, I will certainly pray that the Lord will give you comfort & strength in the difficulties you’re going through.
 
I thought I’d share this with you.

*1 John 4:11-18 **

Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Saviour of the world. God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. So we have known and believe the love that God has for us.

God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgement, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.
 
Holy God,
Holy Mighty One,
Holy Eternal One,
Hear our prayer for katholikos12.
 
Katholikos, you are in my prayers. It may be that the reason you will be moving someplace new is that God is guiding you to where you need to be. When I had to move (when I was about your age) to a new state where I knew no one I found a Charismatic prayer group and a good, Catholic friend. Both the friend and the group helped me so much on my faith journey. May God, who uses everything (even difficult moves) for good to those who love Him, bring you the help and companionship along the way that you are searching for.
 
Katholikos, I would first echo the words of our Lord, “Be not afraid!”

I believe I can relate to your plight very well for a number of reasons, but I would speak most to you saying your heart isn’t “in it.” I have struggled with this a great deal for a number of years and various things have helped but nothing more than having a good resource to go to and a good support structure. I lament the fact that you seem to be in such a hostile environment and I will be praying for you to be strong in the midst of such opposition. I would also extend a hand and say that if you wish to discuss your situation further perhaps send me a private message. We are similar in age and I believe perhaps I could share with you some things that have aided me in trying times.
 
katholikos12 said:
I am moving into a high stress job that I do not want to do, but feel that God is calling me to it.

I’m scared and I want to run away from everything. I’m 24 and I am literally scared to tears.

I feel pathetic venting like this, but this forum is the best support system I have right now. Pray that my heart will change and desire the CC and that I will have the strength to go on to what God has called me to do with a joyous heart.
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Whoa. Can you get out of this job? What or who made you think God was calling you to it? I can’t speak for everyone else, but my experience is things God calls you to bring you peace. You might feel a bit inadequate, but the Holy Spirit gives you what you need.

Your religion has RCIA - are you in RCIA? Did you not find support and friendship there?

Those fundamentalist emotionally-charged services are designed that way - to get your adrenaline pumping, to literally get you addicted. But that’s not God, is it? What you encounter in those services is not God, it’s yourself, your own nervous system. In fact, it blocks true Spiritual experience.

My advice is: try if at all possible to go to some daily Mass. Mostly they are in the morning, but most communities have some that are in the evening, too. Go when it’s really quiet. Go to Adoration, sit quietly with the Lord. Go and listen. Be still in God. Quiet your mind and remember He is ALWAYS with you. Always, wherever you are. Jesus said, “It is I, be not afraid.”
 
***Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

Amen.***

:crossrc:
 
This will come as a terrible discomfort, but you should know that people only hate something when there is something to hate. That your family and friends are anti-Caholic suggests a srong emotional connection to it. As for your fear of lukewarmness, I understand. It’s easy to get lost in the crowd in the Church, at least in my region (New England) and feel left out. Yes, we can be very slow and methodical, but that methodology has shaped the bulk of the Faith over time. You will learn to adapt and find beauty in it. Prime yourself with some basics, if you understand why we are as we are, it will help you.

Good luck and God bless!
 
Julia_Mae said:
Whoa. Can you get out of this job? What or who made you think God was calling you to it? I can’t speak for everyone else, but my experience is things God calls you to bring you peace. You might feel a bit inadequate, but the Holy Spirit gives you what you need.

Your religion has RCIA - are you in RCIA? Did you not find support and friendship there?

Those fundamentalist emotionally-charged services are designed that way - to get your adrenaline pumping, to literally get you addicted. But that’s not God, is it? What you encounter in those services is not God, it’s yourself, your own nervous system. In fact, it blocks true Spiritual experience.

My advice is: try if at all possible to go to some daily Mass. Mostly they are in the morning, but most communities have some that are in the evening, too. Go when it’s really quiet. Go to Adoration, sit quietly with the Lord. Go and listen. Be still in God. Quiet your mind and remember He is ALWAYS with you. Always, wherever you are. Jesus said, “It is I, be not afraid.”
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I particularly like this response. 👍 We know where “terror” comes from, don’t we? This is very excellent advice. Daily morning Mass is a huge, enormous blessing. It’s sad so many people who CAN attend, do not. The measure of grace one receives by opening oneself to God in this way out of love and devotion is enormous and I have stories no one would believe regarding the ways in which God has touched my life, which has been filled with horror for almost two years since I lost my daughter at age 23. Without Him, I would not be surviving. In your young life, you have so much to hope for, so much to look forward to, and especially now when you are in the one true Church where He abides in actual Presence. “Test the spirits”…perhaps this job is not for you. I have to say that the closer we get to God, the harder Satan attacks us. Sounds superstitious doesn’t it, but it’s true. And It (can’t call Satan a “he” lol) uses others, and events, the smallest things, to do the most damage. Vade retro Satana…as my dear friend Deacon Arney says, this is the one “thing” you can turn to and say “Go to hell”.
 
Prayer for Inner Healing
from Fr. Gabriel Amorth

Lord Jesus, you came to heal our wounded hearts. I beg you to heal the torments that cause anxiety in my heart. I beg you, in a particular way, to heal all who are the cause of sin. I beg you to come into my life and heal me of the psychological harms that struck me in my early years and from the injuries that they caused throughout my life.
Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them all on your Good Shepherd’s Heart. I beseech you - by the merits of the great, open wound in your heart - to heal the small wounds that are mine. Heal the pain of my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety.

Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of all the evil that is rooted in my life. I want to forgive all those who have offended me. Look to those inner sores that make me unable to forgive. You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, please, heal my own heart.

Heal, my Lord Jesus, those intimate wounds that cause me physical illness. I offer you my heart. Accept it, Lord, purify it and give me the sentiments of Your Divine Heart. Help me to be meek and humble.

Heal me, O Lord, from the pain caused by the death of my loved ones, which is oppressing me. grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the life. Make me an authentic witness to your resurrection, your victory over sin and death, your living presence among us. Amen.

peace
 
Here are words of advice. Don’t seek permission from anyone to do what feels right to you. You don’t need to stop being friend with them, just don’t talk about your choice unless you feel guided by the Holy Spirit. My husband is from a different church also and he is currently converting to Catholic. I never force him, it came on his own. He did research also and he knows without a doubt that the Catholic church is the true church. She contains all the sacred sacrament and it was founded from the Apostles who were taught by Jesus.

In all situation in my life, i worry more about what God think of me versus others. I find this so liberating to let go the good opinion of others.

Pray mother Mary to help you and guide you. She is so amazing and she will protect you.

Your effort won’t be in vain.

Love to you and peace!
 
Holy God,
Holy Mighty One,
Holy Eternal One,
Hear our prayer for katholikos12.
 
Julia_Mae said:
Whoa. Can you get out of this job? What or who made you think God was calling you to it? I can’t speak for everyone else, but my experience is things God calls you to bring you peace. You might feel a bit inadequate, but the Holy Spirit gives you what you need.

Your religion has RCIA - are you in RCIA? Did you not find support and friendship there?

Those fundamentalist emotionally-charged services are designed that way - to get your adrenaline pumping, to literally get you addicted. But that’s not God, is it? What you encounter in those services is not God, it’s yourself, your own nervous system. In fact, it blocks true Spiritual experience.

My advice is: try if at all possible to go to some daily Mass. Mostly they are in the morning, but most communities have some that are in the evening, too. Go when it’s really quiet. Go to Adoration, sit quietly with the Lord. Go and listen. Be still in God. Quiet your mind and remember He is ALWAYS with you. Always, wherever you are. Jesus said, “It is I, be not afraid.”
Click to expand...
I can get out of the job (although difficult and could cost me my career), but I don’t want to. I truly believe that what I am going into is truly what God has called me to do. I’m just not thrilled about going into it and ask for prayer that my heart will soon follow my actions. I want to do what God has called me to do with joy!

I am in RCIA, but I am moving away; also my decision to come the Church has only been so recent as I have only had 2 RCIA classes.

My fear waxes and wanes. I think it is likely a spiritual attack, because I am coming home. I pray the Rosary daily and that helps a lot. Our Lady’s prayers for my comfort are truly powerful.

I think I will go to Adoration. Thank you 🙂
 
Chantal25 said:
Here are words of advice. Don’t seek permission from anyone to do what feels right to you. You don’t need to stop being friend with them, just don’t talk about your choice unless you feel guided by the Holy Spirit. My husband is from a different church also and he is currently converting to Catholic. I never force him, it came on his own. He did research also and he knows without a doubt that the Catholic church is the true church. She contains all the sacred sacrament and it was founded from the Apostles who were taught by Jesus.

In all situation in my life, i worry more about what God think of me versus others. I find this so liberating to let go the good opinion of others.

Pray mother Mary to help you and guide you. She is so amazing and she will protect you.

Your effort won’t be in vain.

Love to you and peace!
Click to expand...
I am not stopping my friendship with them. It is a little awkward that I have known them for 8 years, have through amazing spiritual journey’s with these people and suddenly I’m telling them that I am going to a Church that my friends and I have worked against.

I pray the Rosary daily and it does help tremendously.
 
ellzeena said:
I particularly like this response. 👍 We know where “terror” comes from, don’t we? This is very excellent advice. Daily morning Mass is a huge, enormous blessing. It’s sad so many people who CAN attend, do not. The measure of grace one receives by opening oneself to God in this way out of love and devotion is enormous and I have stories no one would believe regarding the ways in which God has touched my life, which has been filled with horror for almost two years since I lost my daughter at age 23. Without Him, I would not be surviving. In your young life, you have so much to hope for, so much to look forward to, and especially now when you are in the one true Church where He abides in actual Presence. “Test the spirits”…perhaps this job is not for you. I have to say that the closer we get to God, the harder Satan attacks us. Sounds superstitious doesn’t it, but it’s true. And It (can’t call Satan a “he” lol) uses others, and events, the smallest things, to do the most damage. Vade retro Satana…as my dear friend Deacon Arney says, this is the one “thing” you can turn to and say “Go to hell”.
Click to expand...
AHAHAHA funny.

I do not think that it is superstitious, I come from a very charismatic background where such things are the norm as opposed to the exception.
 
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