The boys I know are wicked awesome

[sanctamaria17]

In honor of Take Back the Night, the guys on campus have started a white ribbon campaign, meaning that they will do everything in their power to protect girls and women from assault.

I love our boys!!! And one of them is a really close friend of mine, not surprised at all that he’s doing this but I’m so proud of him!!

 

[duskyjewel]

While I think that is wonderful of the men, Take Back the Night is radical feminist claptrap, dedicated to the idea that men are beastly rapists and women are never responsible for anything they do nor are they capable of handling life on their own.

Take Back the Night participants have been known to go through campus directories, picking innocent names at random, and publishing them with the tag “is a rapist.” Lawsuits have resulted from this tactic. Another mainstay of this concept is that women can get as drunk as they want, dress as trashy as they want, and send as many “come get me” signals as they want, and yet still cry rape when a man takes them at their word. They can even regret consensual sex the next morning, blame the man, and call it rape. Many have done so at Take Back the Night rallies.

Things like Take Back the Night also encourage self-doubt, fear, and guilt on the part of men simply for being men. This is where a lot of the male participation comes from… they feel like they have to do penance for possessing a Y chromosome. Perhaps they also fear personal and professional destruction (with the directory-surfing tactic), and think by participating, they can prevent it.

If I caught my college age daughter participating in such things, I would express my disappointment most vehemently.

 

[ack]

sancamaria17 has already addressed these concerns on another thread…if you have further concerns beyond what she addressed, please raise them there to preserve the context of the discussion…

While I think that is wonderful of the men, Take Back the Night is radical feminist claptrap, dedicated to the idea that men are beastly rapists and women are never responsible for anything they do nor are they capable of handling life on their own.

Take Back the Night participants have been known to go through campus directories, picking innocent names at random, and publishing them with the tag “is a rapist.” Lawsuits have resulted from this tactic. Another mainstay of this concept is that women can get as drunk as they want, dress as trashy as they want, and send as many “come get me” signals as they want, and yet still cry rape when a man takes them at their word. They can even regret consensual sex the next morning, blame the man, and call it rape. Many have done so at Take Back the Night rallies.

Things like Take Back the Night also encourage self-doubt, fear, and guilt on the part of men simply for being men. This is where a lot of the male participation comes from… they feel like they have to do penance for possessing a Y chromosome. Perhaps they also fear personal and professional destruction (with the directory-surfing tactic), and think by participating, they can prevent it.

If I caught my college age daughter participating in such things, I would express my disappointment most vehemently.

 

[duskyjewel]

Didn’t know that… sorry. Too many threads to read them all.

 

[chevalier]

It’s a good thing they understand the wrong of forcible advances, but they shouldn’t start feeling bad for being male, either. Don’t let them overdo it.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Trust me, my extremely manly Catholic guy friend is playing a huge role in this. They wont’ turn into man-haters simply because he planned most of it!

And we have male survivors speaking as well.

 

[strngrnrth]

Take Back the Night participants have been known to go through campus directories, picking innocent names at random, and publishing them with the tag “is a rapist.” Lawsuits have resulted from this tactic.

That’s libel, and it’s horrible.

Another mainstay of this concept is that women can get as drunk as they want, dress as trashy as they want, and send as many “come get me” signals as they want, and yet still cry rape when a man takes them at their word. They can even regret consensual sex the next morning, blame the man, and call it rape. Many have done so at Take Back the Night rallies.

Wait – I have no idea how many “come get me” signals I’ve been acused of sending out when I certainly was doing no such thing, but if relaxing, drinking, and being in the midst of social life disqualifies a woman from basic human rights, I can’t live in this society any longer. Though I don’t drink anymore, drinkers mostly fall intot wo groupings: those who are enjoying a drink among friends with a meal or making a toast on a special occasion, which is their absolute right, and those, as I was, who have a less-common reaction to alcohol and are addicted to it, making it agonizing to go long without getting “as drunk as they want”. How is that a signal? If I took a painkiller for a headache, would that be a signal that I want to be mugged? If I took an antacid for an upset stomach, would that be a signal that I would care to be run over crossing the street? Why is it a “signal” to “come get me” if I self-medicate how I find it works for me?
Also, I used to be accused of dressing “that way” as an excuse by men who were trying to attack me, as an argument that I shouldn’t defend myself. I was wearing a diverse range of styles on those occasions, and I can tell you the “signal” is totally in the eye of the beholder. What is trashy in one city one year is business-casual in another, formal in another, student-casual in another, and old-ladyish in another.
I have never, ever, ever sent out a signal that I wished to be raped or even sexually harassed and I never plan on sending one. Yet I have been accused of it countless times. So I think at least 999 out of a thousand times a woman is accused of sending such signals, it’s a pack of USDA baloney.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I agree with the previous poster. Some of you know that I was nearly the victim of assault at sixteen and people have tried to corrupt my innocence over the years simply because they thought it was “funny”! If I can’t drink (when I’m of age) with my friends or wear something pretty because it’s a “come and get me” signal, I might as well live in Iran.

When I was sixteen, the only fault I had was trying to be nice to someone who fooled me into believing they were lost. I got seriously lucky that day. You know why I didn’t report him? Because I thought it was “my fault” in some way.

Like I said in my last thread, this isn’t a man bashing event. We have male survivors speaking, and the most manly guy I know is practically running this. And he hates radical feminism! But he dearly loves women and wants to protect them.

It really makes me sad that these issues and events are thought of as radical feminist ultra left issues, simply because there are women who give them a bad name. They’re everyone’s issues. The next time I hear someone say, “She asked for it,” I’m going to challenge them to say that to a woman who’s life has been shattered because of that. Say that to the parents whose daughter has been horribly abused and who blame themselves for not being able to protect them. Say that to the girl who’s abused by her boyfriend/husband every day and is too afraid to do something.

I shouldn’t have to live in fear just walking my friends home at night (because I care about them more than my own safety). My best guy friend shouldn’t come close to having a heart attack because he’s afraid of me walking back home at night (and he gives me self defense tips all the time, will walk with me to my dorm and see me to the door, call me to make sure I’m in all right, etc.) . My friends shouldn’t have to fear for their own safety. I shouldn’t have to throw my pretty (modest, but still noticeable) clothes in the trash, never consider wearing make up again, stop talking to boys, stop traveling, or refuse a drink in a situation where it’s legal and cultural (while traveling, when I turn 21, etc.) simply because it might turn some guy on.

We should be modest and have common sense but there is NO EXCUSE to rape a woman. NONE! If someone is intoxicated, you should be aware that they don’t have the judgment they’d usually utilize. If someone is wearing a short skirt, still gives no one a right to lay a hand on her.

I used to be bullied all the time and I was blamed for being an “easy target” and for “letting it happen.” I was eight!! Was it any surprise that I didn’t confess a near miss for two years (I confessed three months ago, while crying in the arms of this same friend of mine)? Apparently, I was an “easy target” (I was alone and I was after school for an honor society function). Apparently, I let that happen. Apparently, it was my fault that I nearly lost my innocence, I lost my confidence in myself, my trust in people, and especially my trust in men! I’ve only recently gotten that all back, thanks to God, counseling, my family, and especially the friends that are in my life right now.

This isn’t just a feminist issue or a woman’s issue. It’s everyone’s issue and especially as Catholics, we need to fight for the dignity of both man and woman by fighting against these evils.

St. Joan of Arc and St. Maria Goretti, pray for us.

 

[duskyjewel]

I never said simply drinking is sending out signals. Dancing suggestively, rubbing up against his crotch in a short skirt, going to a room to make out in private… those are come get me signals. And all those happen at college parties.

Jeez people. See, as soon as someone suggests women should be responsible and do what they can to avoid being a target, suddenly she’s saying that men have a right to rape. Gimme a break.

 

[fyrehardt]

shakes head and sighs reminds me of all the girls I used to know in school who would let their breasts and butt hang out and then yell at the guys who would look. I am not saying it’s the victim’s fault by any means, but if you DO put it “on the block” so to speak, then you Can’t get offended if someone decides to check out the merchandise

 

[strngrnrth]

I never said simply drinking is sending out signals. Dancing suggestively, rubbing up against his crotch in a short skirt, going to a room to make out in private… those are come get me signals. And all those happen at college parties.

Jeez people. See, as soon as someone suggests women should be responsible and do what they can to avoid being a target, suddenly she’s saying that men have a right to rape. Gimme a break.

You didn’t say “rub against his crotch”, you said “get as drunk as she wants”. Also, one person’s idea of suggestive dancing may not be another’s. One person’s idea of a short skirt isn’t another’s. And when a girl goes into a room to make out, under a certain age that doesn’t indicate she’ll go “all the way”. I recall how surprised and perplexed I was to learn that adult singles don’t “just” make out for a few months, they expect all-or-nothing from the first night. some girls hit college still bearing the expecations of younger people. Either way, anyone can back out at any moment. A sudden realization that it’s wrong or that you’re doing this to impress someone else or that you just remembered you’re unprotected – these things do happen. That’s why raising awareness of boundaries is important: so everyone will know what is acceptable and what is not. Since the right not to engage in fornication is greater than the right to do so, the person who wants to stop decides what the rules are. It makes perfect sense.

 

[duskyjewel]

Either way, anyone can back out at any moment.

Of course, and in a perfect world, the guy would respect that. But you get a drunk, horny guy and make him think he’s having sex, then try to back out at the last moment, well, he might be a jerk and just decide to rape you. Or, he might be so drunk, he doesn’t understand that you’re backing out and keep going. Funny how being drunk gets a girl an excuse, but the guy can still be prosecuted even if he had the same BAL as she did. If she gets drunk to the point of incoherence, does things she may not remember, and ends up in bed with a guy because of it, she can say she never consented, call it rape, and he will be held accountable. But if he mixes up the signals because he is drunk, and also does things he may not remember, he can be held criminally responsible! How is that fair? Women can avoid these problems by not getting so drunk that they don’t know what they are doing, controlling their behavior so as not to send out signals they don’t wish to convey, and by having a strict rule that they do not go into rooms with closed doors alone with men UNLESS they fully intend to have sex with him or they have not been drinking and are in full possession of their capacities.

BTW, the reason I said “get as drunk as she wants” is because people do things when snockered that they don’t normally do… like dance suggestively and rub up against guys crotches. Inhibitions are the first to go.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Well, I didn’t end up staying for all of it (we have 3 hours to go) because it’s really emotional. But it was beautiful. I probably will have no voice for tomorrow. That’s OK. My losing my voice for one day is a small sacrifice for those who are silenced.

A couple of my sisters and I went together, one of my guy friends (the one who was so involved) was there, and a bunch of my other friends were there. It wasn’t a whole radical feminist thing at all. Yeah, we were loud, but that’s as close as that gets Our pro life group went, a bunch of us Catholics went, a bunch of Christians in general went. A lot of people were telling stories. It was really beautiful. I was praying to St. Michael, St. Joan, and St. Maria Goretti the whole time. Just, wow!