To me it seems more normal and more respectful to ask first and then go buy the ring or rings separately together.
That’s also a good idea.
LOL. I thought the same thing when I read that.
Yeah. And I mean what would your husband say?
Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Peace Kelfa.
-Trident
Matter of opinion. If a man who I am about to marry spent a lot of money on a ring before consulting me, I would find that offensive
Why not? I was always hoping a man would do it that way
Honestly, if I didn’t have a ring and friends and family asked to see it, I would not be upset that I don’t have a ring.
Right.
Depends, if I was witnessing a public proposal, I think I would be disgusted. Might not put the woman on the spot, but it should would but the public on the spot. Force to clap and cheer them on when I have better things to do.
And to me, it seems (seemed?) more normal and respectful for him to go select one and offer it to me at the time of the proposal. Now I did get a call from the mall, where he said (and I quote) “I feel silly. What the heck kind of ring do you like?” LOL! So it wasn’t a surprise that he was going to ask - but I wanted the ring to be something HE selected and surprised me with - plus our agreement was that he should never, ever tell me what it cost and I’d never, ever ask it’s (material) value. I figured it’s either be what I’d consider too large a cost (and I’d be scared to wear it) or else I’d end up thinking he didn’t spend all he might have because he didn’t value me/our relationship.
On the flip side of that coin, brother-in-law.proposed to sis on a Friday night, in a nice secluded spot. Next day they went to a local jeweller and picked a ring out together.And to me, it seems (seemed?) more normal and respectful for him to go select one and offer it to me at the time of the proposal. Now I did get a call from the mall, where he said (and I quote) “I feel silly. What the heck kind of ring do you like?” LOL! So it wasn’t a surprise that he was going to ask - but I wanted the ring to be something HE selected and surprised me with - plus our agreement was that he should never, ever tell me what it cost and I’d never, ever ask it’s (material) value. I figured it’s either be what I’d consider too large a cost (and I’d be scared to wear it) or else I’d end up thinking he didn’t spend all he might have because he didn’t value me/our relationship.
Close to 20 years in, I still don’t know what the ring is worth/what he spent, and I still smile because I know it’s the one HE picked for ME.
I thin my husband would just be incredulous I found the time to date someone.
Though he’d be be happy I’d found someone who would buy me dinners and drinks and would ask if he’d be willing to take him out for dinner and drinks too!
Again, this is a matter of opinion. And trust me, all the people who were offended by it were too polite to tell you.
Of course not all women want the same thing.After reading through this thread, I can see why so many men are completely baffled as to what women want.
Women want to get married,
But don’t do this. don’t do that, don’t you DARE do that!
Yikes.
It’s a private matter. Hopefully by the time one feels compelled to pop the question, he well knows his beloved.
As ticky as she may be…LOL
Ah, but then we can’t do the 100% surprise proposal, can we?
I know you have a special reason to dislike them, but the “public” will just have to live. The turn-down can happen at the altar, too. No one can possibly be more anxious to avoid an embarrassing scene than the parties directly involved. Those who are pleased or disappointed to see someone else raise the blinds of their life in public usually forget it soon enough, for better or worse.
“When I have better things to do”?
Wow! Clapping for a newly engaged couple really puts you out, doesn’t it? I can’t imagine being forced to endure something so “disgusting” (your word) as two people publicly declaring their intent to marry and then be expected to give 10 whole seconds of my life to clapping in congratulations. And oh my goodness think of the children! What will become of little ones who are forced to see this horrifying spectacle!?Generally speaking, these things can be talked about in a theoretical sense. For instance, someone proposes at a ball game you both attend, and you say, “I think public proposals are wonderful/awful” or “I would be mortified if I got a marriage proposal that way. Absolutely mortified.” You don’t say, “don’t you do that” but rather “I wouldn’t want that.” You might say, “I think that is so cool. I’d love to propose like that some day.” That gives your date her chance to say, “That would mortify me” or “Yes, that would be very cool.”
Then we shouldn’t praise anyone – because other people might feel bad or inferior.