L
lovedance4ever
Guest
I am a nineteen year old girl, as some of you probably already know from my previous posts. To give you some background, my family has somewhat of an interesting living situation; we own a double, and my aunt lives in the upstairs apartment. I live downstairs with my parents, and a very close friend of the family (who I refer to as “aunt”) who has been paying rent since I was a little girl.
My problem is not with our dear friend, but with my aunt who lives upstairs. She suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, among other things, and while I sympathize to a certain extent, my parents have allowed it to interfere with our own personal lives. Especially mine.
From the time I was little, she acted like she has as much authority over me as my parents do. Even now when I go out and do something that my parents have given me the okay to do, she takes it upon herself to object over it and warn me of every possible thing that could go wrong. It has gotten so extreme that we have (and I am ashamed to admit this) begun lying to her about things. All of the dates I have gone on over the past year my parents and I have lied to her about. She has no idea that they ever took place. This is only done to keep peace in the house. Unless we want fireworks, we keep our mouths shut.
This past summer, it hit a new level. I am extremely close with my courtesy aunt, the close friend of the family who lives with us. She has also been subject to my aunt’s behaviors in the past, and so we often talk about it, and she comforts me. My aunt knows of our closeness, and has been jealous of our relationship since I was small. Well, without going into detail, there was a huge blow up about it several months ago. When she does this, she turns into a monster…I can’t even describe how terrifying it is to watch her transform; and she can do this at the drop of a hat. Anyway, she got in my friend’s face and screamed vulgarities at her, saying that she took me away from her. She then slammed the door, stomped upstairs, and not five minutes later, she came sauntering downstairs back to her old self and begging for forgiveness.
Well she has done this many times before. One time when I was fifteen, I had to lock myself in the bathroom as she banged on the door, screaming at me for a petty disagreement that we had. I was, and still am, literally terrified of saying the wrong thing to her, hence the lying that I have been doing.
After the last big argument happened, my parents said that it would stop, mostly because I threatened to move out. They begged me to stay, and said that they would look into buying a house, and my aunt would go into senior living. She agreed to this, and said that in the meantime she would work on her behavior. And for a while, she did.
But now, things are back to normal. She intrudes in my life more than ever before, and I hate it. Even worse than that, my parents have put a hold on house hunting. I am devastated.
Last night, my aunt came down really late, and starting bugging me about an issue about MY financial aid, which is not even a big problem in the first place. She says insulting things to me all the time, as well. And I am reaching my limit of what I can take. This behavior is not occasional, it is constant.
My parents are both 60 years old, as I came to them late in life. I love them dearly, but one of my fears is that they will die and I will be stuck having to take care of my aunt. I know I must sound like a horrible, horrible person…I feel bad about having those thoughts. But I cannot take it any longer. I also would feel bad about moving out right now…it would devastate my parents and I hate hurting and disappointing them. I am currently applying for the study abroad program at my college, which would give me a chance to spend a semester away in England. I think that would make me feel a bit better, and my parents would be for it, too.
If anyone has advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. If not, I would appreciate prayers. It is difficult to address this situation with my parents, as they just argue the point with me and say that there really isn’t anything they can do. It is hard to find a sympathetic ear regarding this situation.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. God bless.
Christa
My problem is not with our dear friend, but with my aunt who lives upstairs. She suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, among other things, and while I sympathize to a certain extent, my parents have allowed it to interfere with our own personal lives. Especially mine.
From the time I was little, she acted like she has as much authority over me as my parents do. Even now when I go out and do something that my parents have given me the okay to do, she takes it upon herself to object over it and warn me of every possible thing that could go wrong. It has gotten so extreme that we have (and I am ashamed to admit this) begun lying to her about things. All of the dates I have gone on over the past year my parents and I have lied to her about. She has no idea that they ever took place. This is only done to keep peace in the house. Unless we want fireworks, we keep our mouths shut.
This past summer, it hit a new level. I am extremely close with my courtesy aunt, the close friend of the family who lives with us. She has also been subject to my aunt’s behaviors in the past, and so we often talk about it, and she comforts me. My aunt knows of our closeness, and has been jealous of our relationship since I was small. Well, without going into detail, there was a huge blow up about it several months ago. When she does this, she turns into a monster…I can’t even describe how terrifying it is to watch her transform; and she can do this at the drop of a hat. Anyway, she got in my friend’s face and screamed vulgarities at her, saying that she took me away from her. She then slammed the door, stomped upstairs, and not five minutes later, she came sauntering downstairs back to her old self and begging for forgiveness.
Well she has done this many times before. One time when I was fifteen, I had to lock myself in the bathroom as she banged on the door, screaming at me for a petty disagreement that we had. I was, and still am, literally terrified of saying the wrong thing to her, hence the lying that I have been doing.
After the last big argument happened, my parents said that it would stop, mostly because I threatened to move out. They begged me to stay, and said that they would look into buying a house, and my aunt would go into senior living. She agreed to this, and said that in the meantime she would work on her behavior. And for a while, she did.
But now, things are back to normal. She intrudes in my life more than ever before, and I hate it. Even worse than that, my parents have put a hold on house hunting. I am devastated.
Last night, my aunt came down really late, and starting bugging me about an issue about MY financial aid, which is not even a big problem in the first place. She says insulting things to me all the time, as well. And I am reaching my limit of what I can take. This behavior is not occasional, it is constant.
My parents are both 60 years old, as I came to them late in life. I love them dearly, but one of my fears is that they will die and I will be stuck having to take care of my aunt. I know I must sound like a horrible, horrible person…I feel bad about having those thoughts. But I cannot take it any longer. I also would feel bad about moving out right now…it would devastate my parents and I hate hurting and disappointing them. I am currently applying for the study abroad program at my college, which would give me a chance to spend a semester away in England. I think that would make me feel a bit better, and my parents would be for it, too.
If anyone has advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. If not, I would appreciate prayers. It is difficult to address this situation with my parents, as they just argue the point with me and say that there really isn’t anything they can do. It is hard to find a sympathetic ear regarding this situation.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. God bless.
Christa