New Seeker,
What this comment shows is that doctrine about eternal marriage is not understood by you, and that she is closer to understanding the “official church teaching” than you evidently think she is.
When Paul wrote, (1 Corinthians 7)
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
then he was stating a truth that is taught within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that not only applies to this kind of wife/husband situation you have written about, but also in a different way but using a similar principle, to children/parent situations–that the righteous desires of the parents and their diligence in teaching their children will play a role in the possibility of “wandering” children returning, whether in this life or in the spirit world, to “the fold”.
The sisters making the comments you described, would be the ones who don’t understand Latter-day Saint doctrine about what a woman should do in a case such as you have described about your wife. It sounds like your wife is doing exactly what she is not only inspired to do, but what is in line with the doctrine about what she should do.