"The Consequences of the 'I Don't Want to Offend' Mindset"

[mdgspencer]

After this writer said a blessing at the beginning of a business lunch with a surprised long-term client, they wondered why people of faith don’t do this in public. What keeps people from expressing their faith in front of others? this writer asked the client. And this writer speaks in this article of how we are asked to accept things absolutely contrary to our faith. Or are forced to accept them. The writer says many more things about other and even more serious consequences of this reluctance, and about what may cause this in people of faith. The saddest part of this mindset, this writer thinks, is that we rarely think we are offending Christ.
see www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2011/11/hain-the-consequences-of-the-i-dont-want-to-offend-mindset/

 

[Petersmate]

So what do you do as a parent when you tell your gay son that his homosexual ways just dont go with my Catholic lifestyle and when you have to tell your daughter that you are not going to her wedding at the registry office with her gay cousin (my sisters son) as maid of honor. They respond by cutting themselves off from me their siblings criticise me for losing a son and a daughter and my sister undermines me by attending the wedding and apparently I’m a religious fundamentalist for standing up for Catholicism.

I’m told by them that I should be practising tolerance and accepting them for who they are, I shouldn’t moralise to them or force my religious views on to anyone.

I think I should offend them don’t you?

 

[Dale_M]

I dunno… I think the reason most people don’t say a blessing while dining in public is because they don’t want to be misinterpreted. They worry that others will think they consider themselves to be more religious or somehow morally superior In other words, they don’t want others to think their prayer is a form of showboating.

 

[rossum]

After this writer said a blessing at the beginning of a business lunch with a surprised long-term client, they wondered why people of faith don’t do this in public. What keeps people from expressing their faith in front of others? this writer asked the client. And this writer speaks in this article of how we are asked to accept things absolutely contrary to our faith. Or are forced to accept them. The writer says many more things about other and even more serious consequences of this reluctance, and about what may cause this in people of faith. The saddest part of this mindset, this writer thinks, is that we rarely think we are offending Christ.
see www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2011/11/hain-the-consequences-of-the-i-dont-want-to-offend-mindset/

And if you were at a business lunch and the salesman stood up and started, Allahu’ akbar!? What would you do?

I suggest that you read, “Why I’m Against Pre-Game Prayers”:

"Coming from a fairly traditional Southern upbringing, I was not at all initially surprised when a voice came over the PA and asked everyone to rise for the invocation. I had been through this same ritual at many other high-school events and thought nothing of it, so to our feet my wife and I stood, bowed our heads, and prepared to partake of the prayer. But to our extreme dismay, the clergyman who took the microphone and began to pray was not a Protestant minister or a Catholic priest, but a Buddhist priest who proceeded to offer up prayers and intonations to god-head figures that our tradition held to be pagan.

We were frozen in shock and incredulity! What to do? To continue to stand and observe this prayer would represent a betrayal of our own faith and imply the honoring of a pagan deity that was anathema to our beliefs. To sit would be an act of extreme rudeness and disrespect in the eyes of our Japanese hosts and neighbors, who value above all other things deference and respect in their social interactions. I am sorry to say that in the confusion of the moment we chose the easier path and elected to continue to stand in silence so as not to create a scene or ill will among those who were seated nearby."

That happened in Hawaii; not all of America is Christian.

If you get to say your prayers, then others get to say their prayers as well. Is that what you really want?

rossum

 

[Seeker1961]

And if you were at a business lunch and the salesman stood up and started, Allahu’ akbar!? What would you do?

I suggest that you read, “Why I’m Against Pre-Game Prayers”:

"Coming from a fairly traditional Southern upbringing, I was not at all initially surprised when a voice came over the PA and asked everyone to rise for the invocation. I had been through this same ritual at many other high-school events and thought nothing of it, so to our feet my wife and I stood, bowed our heads, and prepared to partake of the prayer. But to our extreme dismay, the clergyman who took the microphone and began to pray was not a Protestant minister or a Catholic priest, but a Buddhist priest who proceeded to offer up prayers and intonations to god-head figures that our tradition held to be pagan.

We were frozen in shock and incredulity! What to do? To continue to stand and observe this prayer would represent a betrayal of our own faith and imply the honoring of a pagan deity that was anathema to our beliefs. To sit would be an act of extreme rudeness and disrespect in the eyes of our Japanese hosts and neighbors, who value above all other things deference and respect in their social interactions. I am sorry to say that in the confusion of the moment we chose the easier path and elected to continue to stand in silence so as not to create a scene or ill will among those who were seated nearby."

That happened in Hawaii; not all of America is Christian.

If you get to say your prayers, then others get to say their prayers as well. Is that what you really want?

rossum

Exactly. Religious freedom doesn’t mean “freedom for my religion and everyone else has to shut up”.

 

[Crescentinus]

Political correctness - something which poisons not only people but societies as well.
That said, I prefer to be politically incorrect. It would be for the best if we start calling spades as spades.

 

[mdgspencer]

I was in Singapore last week and went on a tour of the Buddha Tooth Temple. Most of the people in Singapore are Buddhist and the person giving the tour was a Buddhist himself and showed openly that the practices there were his own, even some I found strange. I thought the tour was great and told me much about his religion. I see though that you-- and I myself in fact–would find it offensive if someone with another religion would infringe on our own space, when it comes to what we believe ourselves. I don’t think though that someone praying by himself privately before a meal should be offensive to other people there.

And if you were at a business lunch and the salesman stood up and started, Allahu’ akbar!? What would you do?

I suggest that you read, “Why I’m Against Pre-Game Prayers”:

"Coming from a fairly traditional Southern upbringing, I was not at all initially surprised when a voice came over the PA and asked everyone to rise for the invocation. I had been through this same ritual at many other high-school events and thought nothing of it, so to our feet my wife and I stood, bowed our heads, and prepared to partake of the prayer. But to our extreme dismay, the clergyman who took the microphone and began to pray was not a Protestant minister or a Catholic priest, but a Buddhist priest who proceeded to offer up prayers and intonations to god-head figures that our tradition held to be pagan.

We were frozen in shock and incredulity! What to do? To continue to stand and observe this prayer would represent a betrayal of our own faith and imply the honoring of a pagan deity that was anathema to our beliefs. To sit would be an act of extreme rudeness and disrespect in the eyes of our Japanese hosts and neighbors, who value above all other things deference and respect in their social interactions. I am sorry to say that in the confusion of the moment we chose the easier path and elected to continue to stand in silence so as not to create a scene or ill will among those who were seated nearby."

That happened in Hawaii; not all of America is Christian.

If you get to say your prayers, then others get to say their prayers as well. Is that what you really want?

rossum

 

[Jala]

And if you were at a business lunch and the salesman stood up and started, Allahu’ akbar!? What would you do?

I suggest that you read, “Why I’m Against Pre-Game Prayers”:

"Coming from a fairly traditional Southern upbringing, I was not at all initially surprised when a voice came over the PA and asked everyone to rise for the invocation. I had been through this same ritual at many other high-school events and thought nothing of it, so to our feet my wife and I stood, bowed our heads, and prepared to partake of the prayer. But to our extreme dismay, the clergyman who took the microphone and began to pray was not a Protestant minister or a Catholic priest, but a Buddhist priest who proceeded to offer up prayers and intonations to god-head figures that our tradition held to be pagan.

We were frozen in shock and incredulity! What to do? To continue to stand and observe this prayer would represent a betrayal of our own faith and imply the honoring of a pagan deity that was anathema to our beliefs. To sit would be an act of extreme rudeness and disrespect in the eyes of our Japanese hosts and neighbors, who value above all other things deference and respect in their social interactions. I am sorry to say that in the confusion of the moment we chose the easier path and elected to continue to stand in silence so as not to create a scene or ill will among those who were seated nearby."

That happened in Hawaii; not all of America is Christian.

If you get to say your prayers, then others get to say their prayers as well. Is that what you really want?

rossum

Excellent post!

It’s hard to think of anything that won’t offend SOMEONE.

I don’t care if someone wishes me Merry Christmas or Happy Chanukah (I observe both) or Happy Holidays (covers all bases, including Kwanzaa and the New Year holiday). But SOME PEOPLE cough coughmostlyChristianscough get very offended with Happy Holidays, as if lumping Christmas in with other potential holiday good wishes is somehow an insult. If you get offended by “Merry Christmas” if you aren’t a Christian, or if you are offended by “Happy Holidays” if you are a Christian–in either case, you’re being a whiny crybaby. Instead of being an ungrateful brat, accept that someone is kind enough to offer you good wishes.

I’m not offended by Muslim greetings either. I’m quite used to being mistaken for a Muslim, so I have learned the proper response when greeted as such. If this is done in passing, I just let it go; but if I will be spending time with the greeter, such as in a meeting or class, I will let him/her know that I am not Muslim, but I appreciate the friendly greeting. GRATITUDE, people, GRATITUDE!!

The issue isn’t sensitivity; it’s the arrogance of thinking that only you are “right.” You wish me a Merry Christmas because you don’t care if I’m not a Christian–and I wish you Happy Holidays because I don’t care if you ARE.

Jala

 

[Seeker1961]

Excellent post!

It’s hard to think of anything that won’t offend SOMEONE.

I don’t care if someone wishes me Merry Christmas or Happy Chanukah (I observe both) or Happy Holidays (covers all bases, including Kwanzaa and the New Year holiday). But SOME PEOPLE cough coughmostlyChristianscough get very offended with Happy Holidays, as if lumping Christmas in with other potential holiday good wishes is somehow an insult. If you get offended by “Merry Christmas” if you aren’t a Christian, or if you are offended by “Happy Holidays” if you are a Christian–in either case, you’re being a whiny crybaby. Instead of being an ungrateful brat, accept that someone is kind enough to offer you good wishes.

I’m not offended by Muslim greetings either. I’m quite used to being mistaken for a Muslim, so I have learned the proper response when greeted as such. If this is done in passing, I just let it go; but if I will be spending time with the greeter, such as in a meeting or class, I will let him/her know that I am not Muslim, but I appreciate the friendly greeting. GRATITUDE, people, GRATITUDE!!

The issue isn’t sensitivity; it’s the arrogance of thinking that only you are “right.” You wish me a Merry Christmas because you don’t care if I’m not a Christian–and I wish you Happy Holidays because I don’t care if you ARE.

Jala

 

[edwest2]

Political correctness - something which poisons not only people but societies as well.
That said, I prefer to be politically incorrect. It would be for the best if we start calling spades as spades.

I find this odd. There is no book titled “Official Guide to Political Correctness for American Citizens” yet a few people talk about this fiction as if it’s real. I don’t ever plan on observing any kind of fantasy correctness that was dreamed up by a bunch of bored people with nothing better to do.

Everyone else gets to say what’s on their minds so let Catholics be Catholics.

This all started when the Communist inspired American Civil Liberties Union started labeling all public displays of religion as offensive and started taking people to court under the guise of “we’re protecting your religion by taking away all the religious monuments, paintings and similar out of all public buildings.” No, you are taking away our heritage and our right to religious expression. All those monuments, paintings, etc. didn’t just walk into those buildings and place themselves there.

Peace,
Ed

 

[Petersmate]

anyone care to mention the affect this has on families

 

[Jala]

anyone care to mention the affect this has on families

I raised my children to be respectful of other cultures and religions, and now as adults they have a deeper appreciation of the goodness beauty that is to be found in all traditions.

So I guess I’m a terrible mom.

Jala

 

[Jala]

anyone care to mention the affect this has on families

The effect it has had on my family: I raised my children to be respectful of other cultures and religions, and now as adults they have a deeper appreciation of the goodness beauty that is to be found in all traditions.

So I guess I’m a terrible mom.

Jala

 

[Crescentinus]

I’ve experienced how some people told me more along the lines of “that either I abide by the “divine law of political correctness” or I can go die in a fire”. To which I respond along the lines of, “Where’s the nearest fire?”.
That said, bowing down to political correctness is hardly a good idea.