The death of a non-Catholic

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PeteyK006

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My father in law recently died and there have been a lot of discussions about is eternal resting place here on earth. It was his wish that he not have a funeral, but a “celebration of life” after some time has passed. He was a non-practicing, baptized Anglican and my wife and I are trying to convince the rest of the non-Catholic family to keep his ashes together and to bury them. A few questions:
1- Can anyone give me any non-Catholic arguments for keeping his remains together and burying the ashes?
2- Would he be able to be buried in a Catholic Cemetery without the funeral?
3- The family has discussed the option of separating and distributing portions of the ashes to each family member. While I know that this is far from ideal and we are attempting to prevent it, if this were to be done, what would be ideal in that situation? Would it be best to take some and have it buried, or would it be better to avoid taking any and keep the divisions to a minimum?

Any thoughts on the above would be most appreciated. And most importantly, prayers for the repose of Doug’s soul are most appreciated.

Thanks all.
 
I hope you make out better than I did.

My mother died 2 years ago and her wishes were similar - “celebration of life” and scattering of ashes.

Of my 3 siblings, only my older sister is religious (Methodist). I tried to tell her the Catholic position that our bodies are sacred and need to be respected. They planned to scatter Mom’s ashes on our family’s golf course. I even told her I couldn’t imagine some golfer clomping around with clumps of “mud and Mom” on his shoes, but to no avail. They went ahead with the “celebration” and scattering. My wife and I and several of our children refused to participate and remained at the house while they went down for the scattering. It still hurts me to think that I could not convince them.

I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more help, and I’m sorry for your loss.

Peace,
John
 
I’m sure I can’t help much, either.

My Mom died almost two years ago (next week is the anniversary) and when the three of us (sisters) went to the funeral home, my sisters were making a list of who all was getting ashes! They were doling out her ashes like they were dealing cards. I was aghast.

The human body should not become fertilizer for golf courses. But also remember that our Lord, who can un-scramble an egg, can also bring the ashes back together.

I’m sorry that I’m not making much sense. I’m still grieving my Mom’s passing. The crazy family events that can occur when someone dies will drive a sane person nuts.
 
Very sorry for your losses, and thanks for sharing! It does help to know the amazing power of our God, but it’s still so hard to watch such disregard for the human body, even though their intentions are good.

Just to clarify, he didn’t make a request that his ashes be scattered, just that he be cremated. He was big into boating, so they’re talking about scattering his ashes (or some of them) in the lake where his boat was.
 
For your first questions I’d try 1 Corinthians 3: 16-17 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Even though he is deceased, his body is still a temple and should remain intact as much as possible upon death.

It does appear that as a parent of a Catholic person, he may be buried in a Catholic cemetery.

As for the last part, if it were me I’d try to keep the divisions to a minimum after doing everything possible to get the ashes buried. I also would not give up on collecting the ashes from everyone in 3, 6, 9 and 12 month intervals in order to get them buried together.

Good luck

Peace,
B
 
PeteyK006 said:
My father in law recently died and there have been a lot of discussions about is eternal resting place here on earth. It was his wish that he not have a funeral, but a “celebration of life” after some time has passed. He was a non-practicing, baptized Anglican and my wife and I are trying to convince the rest of the non-Catholic family to keep his ashes together and to bury them. A few questions:
1- Can anyone give me any non-Catholic arguments for keeping his remains together and burying the ashes?
2- Would he be able to be buried in a Catholic Cemetery without the funeral?
3- The family has discussed the option of separating and distributing portions of the ashes to each family member. While I know that this is far from ideal and we are attempting to prevent it, if this were to be done, what would be ideal in that situation? Would it be best to take some and have it buried, or would it be better to avoid taking any and keep the divisions to a minimum?

Any thoughts on the above would be most appreciated. And most importantly, prayers for the repose of Doug’s soul are most appreciated.

Thanks all.
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Was your FIL attached to a local Anglican parish? If so, you may want to encourage your family to discuss the matter with the Anglican priest. I can’t say what he’d advise, but hopefully, he’d offer to have a regular service and burial for your FIL. Otherwise, since your FIL is not a Catholic he’s not bound by canon law, so the family is free to carry out his wishes, but you’re also free to make the case against it. 🙂
 
Della said:
Was your FIL attached to a local Anglican parish? If so, you may want to encourage your family to discuss the matter with the Anglican priest. I can’t say what he’d advise, but hopefully, he’d offer to have a regular service and burial for your FIL. Otherwise, since your FIL is not a Catholic he’s not bound by canon law, so the family is free to carry out his wishes, but you’re also free to make the case against it. 🙂
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He was baptized as a baby, but has never practiced. And unfortunately his wishes weren’t made clear about what to do with the ashes once he was cremated. It’s not an easy situation. Even dropping the entire urn at the bottom of the lake would be better than scattering… I wonder if they’d go for something like that.
 
PeteyK006 said:
He was baptized as a baby, but has never practiced. And unfortunately his wishes weren’t made clear about what to do with the ashes once he was cremated. It’s not an easy situation. Even dropping the entire urn at the bottom of the lake would be better than scattering… I wonder if they’d go for something like that.
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People get these “inspired” ideas not thinking of the consequences or the meaning–other than to themselves. It’s too bad he didn’t make his wishes clearer. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do except to try to reason with them.

You could suggest contacting the local Anglican parish, though. My grandfather was non-practicing, too, but the priest still had a service for him and burial. You never know, sometimes people’s better instincts can kick in at such times. I hope it turns out well.
 
My own original Catholic parish is more than happy for non-Catholics to have their cremains buried with those of their spouse - I specifically asked the priest about this when I purchased a cremains plot, as my husband is a baptised Christian, but not a Catholic.

I’m sorry for your loss and hope you manage to come to a resolution with your family.
 
Quite plainly, our faith regards “the deceased” as qualifying for a final sacrament. This is very serious to me, especially because of my status as a child of God as well as a soldier of God. In fact, I at times have thought my “legal marriage” failed prior to my significant other going through RCIA and marrying me in church because she didn’t intend to stay, and my sacraments are in excellent standing. Sacraments are huge. Only God knows if that’s accurate or not, so I’d consider what various blessings are needed first and foremost.
 
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