The devil wont get off my back

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jenlovesyu

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I feel like my spiritual&emotional progress isn’t moving along quite as well as I would like it to. Praying has become a difficult task. I can pray some simple prayers just fine but when it comes to praying my normal intentions it seems as if there is something holding me back. And without praying my normal intentions daily, I feel inadequate.

I feel like I am slowly walking in circles through a huge dust storm with raging winds.

And this is the worst part: Due to my very sinful, lustful past I am constantly trying to fight impure thoughts that come into my head every single day. Most of the thoughts have to do with remembering those, ugh, wretched times those sins took place. The Good Lord has forgiven me for those sins through the merciful waters of baptism but alas, the stain from such evil remains. And because I feel inadequate in my relationship with God, the unholy thoughts are taking a little longer to go away.

The biggest reason I engaged in such sins is mainly because I was searching for love. I wanted to know what it was like to be loved. I had been hypnotized by all the Hollywood nonsense since I was a young child. Because of my low self-esteem and depression when I hit 16, it was so easy for the devil to shove the wrong kind of guys into my life. And, well, I am sure you can guess the rest…

Long story short, as a pregnant, young, and single mother, I am feeling very vulnerable emotionally. I should NOT be complaining at all but there’s this big part of me that keeps wishing I had a husband. A man whom I could love and who could love me back the RIGHT way. One who could comfort me and be excited with me during this time. One I could share my love for God with.

Of course, I am no where near a good, emotionally healthy position to be even thinking about seeking a husband. You have no idea how many temptations the devil is throwing at me right now. Thanks be to God I am at least strong enough to avoid them. That’s not to say that they aren’t bothering me though. It’s pretty pathetic when you can’t focus in summer school because your lab partner happens to be a rather handsome, charismatic guy. Of course I don’t think he’s even friend worthy for a person who’s trying to please the Lord.

Please forgive me for complaining. I have read through a few different threads today about peoples’ struggles and I know for a fact that several of you have much larger crosses to bear than I do. And know that I include all members of CA in my prayers. I’m just posting this in hopes that some of you may have some words of wisdom for me?

It’s been a couple weeks since I hit the confessional so I will be doing that this Saturday.
God bless 🙂
 
Talk to your Physican, i.e., Jesus. He wants to heal you, but He needs to hear your problem first. True, as God, He knows all things, but just as a wife confides her worries to her husband, so too, you ought to entrust everything to Jesus. Let the oil of His grace close your wounds and brighten your face, and do not fear the darkness, for He goes with you through the night just as a pillar of light led the Israelities through the dark night.
 
We love you and we are praying for you. Never forget that your friends here at CAF love you dearly.
 
jenlovesyu said:
It’s been a couple weeks since I hit the confessional so I will be doing that this Saturday.
God bless 🙂
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You and me both, “jen”. God love you :console: I hope things get better for you. I’ve had a rough couple of months, myself. Financial woes… worries about family… car problems… misunderstandings of various kinds… concerns about my mother. These are the times… that we must have faith.

I’ll keep you in my prayers. And humbly ask for your prayers, too. :flowers:
 
Please know you are a child of God, worthy of all his love. Please be good to yourself. Going to confession is great. Take some time to work through your past before you rush into any new relationships. Unfortunately, many times in relationships we tend to gravitate towards that which we need to work out from our past. Please be aware of this.

Be patient. Keep praying.

I will say a prayer for you.
 
If you are pregnant, there are Catholic pregnancy help centers that are willing to help you. They supply free or low-cost medical care, education, and support, to pregnant mothers.

Here is one center in the Phoenix/Flagstaff area, if this where you are located:

Hope Crisis Pregnancy Center
hopecpc.org/index.htm

Call your parish, and ask to speak to someone in the youth or outreach ministries. The Knights of Columbus chapter can also point you in the right direction.
 
Hello!..first, God Bless you for having this baby, many young ,single woman would have had an abortion(I know some Catholic girls that have had one)…We all falter, no one is devoid of faults ,except our beautiful Lord, Jesus Christ…Through Him, you can avoid temptation and live a clean, happy life…You owe it to yourself and to your baby…You are so young and temptation is very difficult to avoid when you are young…Don’t go to bars or clubs, too much temptation there to get involved with the wrong kind of guy…concentrate on your baby and pray,pray,pray…Don’t give up on Jesus, He loves you!God bless you!
 
Good day and God bless, Jen! I am sorry to read about your suffering, know that you are in my prayers…

You sound like one of my dearest friends…She too has been dealing with a lot of things like this…She’s a single mom and pg again…I am not going to lie to you, some of the reasons she’s a single pg mom is because of my encouragement in helping her find “the right man!” Yes I didn’t force her to sleep with the one that got her pg, but maybe if I wouldn’t have pushed that they tried for a relationship she wouldn’t have been tempted and now she wouldn’t be pg…something I am not proud of. Of course I would do anything to be in her Blessed place of you know being blessed with a baby-married of course- but it’s not in GOD’s will for me and only He knows when it will be. But it was His will for her…Maybe still outside of wedlock but now she’s being blessed with a miracle and GOD bless her and her first child and baby. I try to be there for her as much as possible but sometimes she just refuses the help, I keep her in my thoughts and heart and I pray that GOD helps her through this time…

And I will keep you in my prayers may GOD help you through these trials, here are a few verses that helped me through today, may they help you find comfort in knowing God is love, and loves you very much…God bless:

GAL 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the
law of Christ.

2TH 1:7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This
will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire
with his powerful angels.

2:16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us
and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope,

17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

2TI 2:12 if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he
will also disown us;

4:17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through
me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear
it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.

HEB 2:18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to
help those who are being tempted.
 
jenlovesyu said:
And this is the worst part: Due to my very sinful, lustful past I am constantly trying to fight impure thoughts that come into my head every single day. Most of the thoughts have to do with remembering those, ugh, wretched times those sins took place. The Good Lord has forgiven me for those sins through the merciful waters of baptism but alas, the stain from such evil remains. And because I feel inadequate in my relationship with God, the unholy thoughts are taking a little longer to go away.

The biggest reason I engaged in such sins is mainly because I was searching for love. I wanted to know what it was like to be loved. I had been hypnotized by all the Hollywood nonsense since I was a young child. Because of my low self-esteem and depression when I hit 16, it was so easy for the devil to shove the wrong kind of guys into my life. And, well, I am sure you can guess the rest…

Long story short, as a pregnant, young, and single mother, I am feeling very vulnerable emotionally. I should NOT be complaining at all but there’s this big part of me that keeps wishing I had a husband. A man whom I could love and who could love me back the RIGHT way. One who could comfort me and be excited with me during this time. One I could share my love for God with.

Of course, I am no where near a good, emotionally healthy position to be even thinking about seeking a husband. You have no idea how many temptations the devil is throwing at me right now.
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Honestly, I think one of the temptations the devil is throwing at you right now is the temptation to think you’re not healthy enough to be seeking a husband. As a man who’s suffered similar problems due to self-abuse in the past, it’s taken me a long time to realise this truth. None of us are perfect, and we can’t wait until we are before we start seeking God’s purpose for us.

You were searching for love, so you committed sins. You are dwelling on those sins now, maybe because you found some imperfect kind of love in them. Maybe they’re hard to shake right now because you’re not feeling any more genuine kind of love. You need to give love and not fear. Find good Catholic friends, spend time with them, give yourself in a loving spirit to their needs, just spend time thinking about the love between you and your child, and praying for it to grow - don’t go out looking for guys, but be open to the possibility, pray to God that He will bless the man who will one day be your husband, and make you both ready for eachother when that moment comes. And don’t forget, you are more loved by God than you can ever imagine. When the devil tempts you to despair because of your past sins, remember, God has removed your sins as far from you as the East is from the West, and He loves you no matter what.

If you feel inadequate before God, trust in His Mother!
 
Good morning and God bless…

This is tough road to go down, many of us have done it though, and many more will have to as well. From experience I can tell you, the thoughts do lessen over time, but it takes time. What worked well for me? I went to a renewal weekend at my Parish, surrounded myself with men of Christ as often as I could. Change your habits, whatever leads you to the thoughts. Download some Christian music on your ipod, listen to it repeatedly, over and over, memorize short breath prayers to say when the thoughts begin. Have Christ on your mind always, reflect on Him and what He did. Pray the Divine Chaplet Rosary, pray to St Michael. You just have to occupy your mind at all times. I’ve heard before the closer you come to Christ, the snares and traps of the devil come greater and more often, as he is losing you. The past is in the past, leave it there. Look ahead, repent, and grow. Christ came for the sinners. You are in my prayers. God bless…
 
Do you have a priest that you feel at ease with? A regular confessor? Have you thought of asking for the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick? It is not only for physically ill people the graces are also for those who are spiritually and emotionally frail. I believe we often forget about this Sacrament and the graces one receives for healing. The obstacle at times may be finding a priest ~ although priest is not to deny you I have heard of situations where priests have.

May God Bless your desire to grow closer to Him. I promise prayers.
 
Jen,

Thanks for sharing your struggles. Exposing them to the light is a great weapon in our spiritual arsenals. Others have given good, practical advice, so let me just offer these thoughts for your encouragement. As we each progress on our own journey we go through seasons of great comfort and seasons of great dryness. The struggles you face at present are recurring simply because those are areas that the Lord wants you to exercise your will upon so that He can move you past them and into a new place of rest. St. Paul used athletic and military analogies to describe the discipline with which we are to approach our walk with Christ. Think of this as your training period, or boot camp, if you will. You will gain endurance and strength over time, but you will never gain strength without resistance. If you are comfortable lifting a gallon of milk you can’t gain strength by working out with a gallon of milk. You need two gallons. If you can run to the end of the block before becoming tired, you need to stretch yourself and sprint back again in order to progress. Do that for a while and soon you’ll be running a 5K with little problem.

This is the Lord’s way of telling you that it’s time to move on to bigger and better things for your own good and the good of your child(ren). It’s tough, but your soul is worth a heroic effort. Whatever you do, don’t allow the enemy to discourage you. If you stumble, get back up. Drag your heart back out into the light each and every time. I would suggest some type of fasting as well. It doesn’t have to be foregoing food and drink, per se. Maybe you can give up a week of Lifetime movies or romance novels. Or maybe you can give up a meal and replace it with spiritual reading and/or prayer There’s nothing so practically useful for disarming your emotional and physical temptations than a grumbling belly you are exercising your will over. Break habits and routines on purpose. Shake things up. Never surrender!😉

God bless you.
 
Thank you all so much for your replies! It is just the kind of encouragement I needed. I feel much better right now and I am planning on asking for a Spiritual Director as soon as possible. I’ve been seeing a pregnancy counselor for a while but she doesn’t counsel from a religious perspective and she only specializes in pregnancy counseling anyway (hence the title “pregnancy counselor”:p). A big part of the issue is that I don’t have any Catholic friends so when I want to discuss my spiritual troubles with someone I’m kinda out of luck unless I go make an appointment with a priest. It seems as if there aren’t too many young adults at my parish.

I also realized that aside from praying, if I am feeling unhappy about something, all I need to do is think of my son. And then I am alot more encouraged to pray. God and my son are the biggest reasons I haven’t been giving into temptations. I am very motivated to provide the best life possible for him and I realize that it begins with me setting a good, wholesome example. I am only 19wks3days along but I already love him so much. God has blessed me with a little sweetheart, I can at least be happy about that.🙂

Anyway, I sincerely appreciate all of your kind words. I definitely have considered everything you all have had to say. I know that especially when things get hard, God will always find a way to help me through it. Always have, always will. I may not be where I want to be at this point but I am more assured now that I will get there. Please continue to pray for me! And thank you for you help!

Much love & God bless,
Jennifer
 
G’day jenlovesyu.
I feel for you, when you are new to finding God in your life it is hard to tell yourself that you are a good person when temptation keep filling your thoughts. We cannot control what thoughts come into our minds and even the most holy person has an abundance of wrong to evil thoughts. It is what you do with these thoughts that determines if you are growing strong spiritually. Take heart from those who have gone before us and at time failed to place Jesus first in their lives, people like St. Peter who denied Jesus, and St Paul who had to live with the thorn in his side all his life. The very fact that you have posted this tells us all that indeed you are well on the way to holiness. My Prayers are with you as I am sure are all those who read your post, May the Father of Jesus our redeemer bless you and give you courage to accept your goodness when you think you are not good. I have seen a great deal in the long years of my life and I love God very much, but I can still join you in saying that the devil wont get off my back either, but I know that turning to God, accepting that the temptation is just that and I cannot stop them comming, I can turn my thoughts to something good to replace them. God Bless you, you are a good and wonderful person. Cheers hava g’day geoff
 
jenlovesyu said:
Thank you all so much for your replies! It is just the kind of encouragement I needed. I feel much better right now and I am planning on asking for a Spiritual Director as soon as possible. I’ve been seeing a pregnancy counselor for a while but she doesn’t counsel from a religious perspective and she only specializes in pregnancy counseling anyway (hence the title “pregnancy counselor”:p). A big part of the issue is that I don’t have any Catholic friends so when I want to discuss my spiritual troubles with someone I’m kinda out of luck unless I go make an appointment with a priest. It seems as if there aren’t too many young adults at my parish.

I also realized that aside from praying, if I am feeling unhappy about something, all I need to do is think of my son. And then I am alot more encouraged to pray. God and my son are the biggest reasons I haven’t been giving into temptations. I am very motivated to provide the best life possible for him and I realize that it begins with me setting a good, wholesome example. I am only 19wks3days along but I already love him so much. God has blessed me with a little sweetheart, I can at least be happy about that.🙂

Anyway, I sincerely appreciate all of your kind words. I definitely have considered everything you all have had to say. I know that especially when things get hard, God will always find a way to help me through it. Always have, always will. I may not be where I want to be at this point but I am more assured now that I will get there. Please continue to pray for me! And thank you for you help!

Much love & God bless,
Jennifer
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You have my prayers and support Jennifer… You sound like you’re on the right path… God will get you through this…Peace and take care…
 
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