The difference a year makes

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PartoftheBody

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Since so much heartache and suffering is shared on this forum, I’d like to share some blessings here, too.

Almost exactly one year ago, I posted about my husband’s troublesome behavior on this forum (forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=705351). I’m happy to report that, by the grace of God, over the last year, things have gotten much better.

While things aren’t perfect, they are definitely improved. My husband doesn’t lose it and yell nearly as often, and when he does, he apologizes. His apologies are now sincere, “I’m sorry for what I did” ones, and he’s doesn’t hesitate to acknowledge when I was right and he was wrong, even for trivial things. He never calls me mean names anymore, although he does have some funny, unusual nicknames for me. Plus, he now gives me unsolicited compliments often, which really encourage me in my daily life.

I can’t say there was one particular thing that made the difference. Prayer helped. Counseling helped. Learning on our own: the differences in the opposite ways he and I approach the world and our emotions…how to talk about the real reasons we were upset…which buttons not to push for each other…when and how to effectively challenge him when he was out of line…which battles to choose…these all helped, too.
There may have been other things that my husband did unbeknownst to me, too, it’s hard to say. I just know that my life and marriage are much better than I imagined they could have been when I wrote that first post.

I’m praying for all those out there who are where I was. I hope they are all able to come to peaceful, just resolutions that preserve their marriages. As yesterday’s gospel reminded us,"For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” Matt 19:26
 
I’m glad to hear a success story… sometimes it seems so sad. People just give up on each other. Today I was thinking about marriage (my niece is getting divorced–second time–she’s 37!) I was thinking how Catholics always use the saying of Jesus, “in the beginning it was not so, but for the hardness of your hearts…” and “in the beginning God created them, male and female he created them…” and I think I finally got the argument.
When God created Adam He said it’s not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve. One woman, one wife. God could have created 100 women for Adam. (The number most men think they were created for…) but he created ONE. That is why a man leaves his family, to cleave to his ONE wife. Ha! Did I get it???

I hope and pray your marriage gets stronger every day. It’s not easy but it’s worthy. Mom told me my husband was my gift from God and a lot of days I WONDERED what she was talking about. Now I understand better. It’s my job to try to help him get to heaven. And it’s his job to help me get there. That’s the only thing that’s important in this life, find a way to get each other closer to God. May God bless you and your husband.
 
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