The difference between feeling feelings and not sinning?

[DaughterofGod44]

What is the difference between feeling your feelings and sinning, such as anger? Say you are angry at a person. And you judge them, right? It’s a sin, right? Okay. But how do you get rid of the feeling? Prayer? Well, what if that isn’t working? Please don’t toss a pious answer or overspiritualize.

Thanks!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

What is the difference between feeling your feelings and sinning, such as anger? Say you are angry at a person. And you judge them, right? It’s a sin, right? Okay. But how do you get rid of the feeling? Prayer? Well, what if that isn’t working? Please don’t toss a pious answer or overspiritualize.

Thanks!

I struggle with this also. As much as we are called to imitate Christ, we are still humans. Humans experience a wide range of feelings. From anger to despair to disappointment to resentment. I do not know at what point a thought or a feeling becomes a sin. Just do not let it consume you. Sometimes you may have to avoid certain people or situations to avoid anger.

 

[Ad_Orientem]

Sin is in the will. We can’t usually stop thoughts or emotions in their tracks, but we do not have to consent to them or let them take over.

 

[DaughterofGod44]

Sin is in the will. We can’t usually stop thoughts or emotions in their tracks, but we do not have to consent to them or let them take over.

Thanks for the answer, Ad Orientem. But I am in therapy right now, and my therapist told me I am allowed to be angry – and she is a Franciscan Sister … and she’s very holy, so I trust her.

So, where is the line? They say anger is caused by something – usually hurt, sadness. So one must feel the anger to get to the true emotion, correct?

I guess to be Catholic one must stuff all emotions at the bottom of our souls and never feel? Only happiness and joy and thanksgiving? In an ideal world – if that was the case, why did Jesus let Himself be crucified if not but to allow us to feel the brokenness, which is real and true, to finally be resurrected? Jesus got angry at the desecration of His Father’s House – I like to think He references in this anger everywhere the Father resides, which is in every single one of us.

We SIN when we don’t DEAL with the real world. We sin to avoid reality – which is usually our sadness and brokenness.

So … what is the line? Where is the line? I never let myself feel negative emotions but as a result of that I can’t have relationships with people because I am never honest with them. So what is the line?

 

[JamalChristophr]

Thanks for the answer, Ad Orientem. But I am in therapy right now, and my therapist told me I am allowed to be angry – and she is a Franciscan Sister … and she’s very holy, so I trust her.

So, where is the line? They say anger is caused by something – usually hurt, sadness. So one must feel the anger to get to the true emotion, correct?

I guess to be Catholic one must stuff all emotions at the bottom of our souls and never feel? Only happiness and joy and thanksgiving? In an ideal world – if that was the case, why did Jesus let Himself be crucified if not but to allow us to feel the brokenness, which is real and true, to finally be resurrected? Jesus got angry at the desecration of His Father’s House – I like to think He references in this anger everywhere the Father resides, which is in every single one of us.

We SIN when we don’t DEAL with the real world. We sin to avoid reality – which is usually our sadness and brokenness.

So … what is the line? Where is the line? I never let myself feel negative emotions but as a result of that I can’t have relationships with people because I am never honest with them. So what is the line?

I think you should definitely let yourself feel negative emotions. God gave us emotions for some reason, I’m sure!

There’s that phrase or quote: “Be angry but sin not.”

It’s great when we can get control of ourselves so that we don’t respond out of proportion to the initial injury, real or perceived. When Jesus overturned the tables of the money changers, he was angry, but he was not out of control and it was in due proportion. The world needs more angry people, in a sense, I dare say!!

Sometimes the far greater sin is not getting angry at all.

To get theoretical here and practical at the same time: anger needs to be subordinate to the virtue of charity and prudence at all times. We’re all messed up though, and it seems to me we’ll definitely need Gods help to be made right again.

Peace!

 

[Ad_Orientem]

. . . I guess to be Catholic one must stuff all emotions at the bottom of our souls and never feel? Only happiness and joy and thanksgiving? . . .

No, you misunderstand. It is possible to feel without consenting, to be angry without nursing a grudge. This takes practice, and God understands that. By all means work through your feelings with God and with your therapist, and expect that it will be messy.

You asked where the line is with sin, so I pointed it out–it is where the will yields to the disorder. I don’t mean that you can, by sheer will power, extinguish all the negative thoughts and feelings, and only experience roses and cherries. To try would be a waste of energy. What I mean is, you don’t have to be a slave to your feelings.

. . .I never let myself feel negative emotions . . .

I’ll let your therapist handle that part; I’ll just say this. Being virtuous doesn’t mean shutting ourselves down or bottling things up. You have to learn the difference between experiencing movements in your soul, versus consenting to them. I’d bring this up with your therapist, and follow her advice.

 

[adytum]

There’s also the difference between justified and unjustified anger: a little kid who doesn’t get what he wants from Santa being mad at Santa (or his parents), that’s unjustified, but a Shoah survivor being angry about the Nazis having slaughtered his whole family, that’s justified.

Sometimes, to get over anger, it helps to “rechannel” it (I don’t mean that in a New Age way), or transform it by doing something really constructive or creative. That’s how I often deal with anger that can’t be resolved any other way. You defuse it, so to speak, and then it has a tendency to lose its power over you.

 

[ready]

What is the difference between feeling your feelings and sinning, such as anger? Say you are angry at a person. And you judge them, right? It’s a sin, right? Okay. But how do you get rid of the feeling? Prayer? Well, what if that isn’t working? Please don’t toss a pious answer or overspiritualize.

Thanks!

Go to the foot of the Cross and give Jesus your feeling of anger, tell Him that you do not ever wish to reclaim it. Say to Jesus: Lord Jesus, forgive _____ for he knows not what he is doing. Or when you are feeling angry at somebody just say a heartfelt prayer for the person with whom you are angry, or , if you can’t get yourself to pray for the person, then say a prayer for meekness and humility. God bless you.