The Essure procedure

[twosweetgirls]

I don’t know what I feel now. Empty? Bereft? Indifferent? Angry? Betrayed? Guilty? Perhaps all of them.

You see, on Friday I chose to have a tubal occlusion–the Essure procedure, similar to a ligation except not as invasive. My last baby was born 10 weeks ago under very difficult circumstances and complications, and knowing that another baby would very likely be dangerous, I had the Essure procedure done. My husband refused a vasectomy, and I didn’t want to take hormones. I tried the Creighton Model of FertilityCare, but that’s how we got pregnant with our second and last child.

I feel like I let God down now. I don’t feel worthy of even being in Church or even going near the Blessed Sacrament. I talked to my priest about my decision two weeks ago in confession, and though he was very sweet and pronounced absolution, I feel like I totally don’t deserve it, now that I went ahead with the procedure.

I don’t think I can even begin to verbalize what I’m feeling now. Or, rather, what I’m NOT feeling. That scares me.

Please help. . . ?

 

[katy]

Wish I could help, but don’t know how. Maybe others will be more knowledgeable. I do pray for you to find your way thru this.

 

[LilyM]

Firstly a disclaimer - the internet is far from being the best place to seek advice. It may be wisest for you to seek professional counselling, from a faithful Catholic psychologist or counsellor. Ask your priest if he can recommend someone, he’d almost certainly have referred people before.

Otherwise you will get all sorts of conflicting advice and opinions on here, some of which can do more harm than good.

Having said that, my heartfelt prayers for you. Remember we have ALL been sinners, and ALL say rightly, at each and every Mass, ‘Lord I am not worthy … only say the word and I shall be healed’. And he wants to heal you and me, be sure of that. Just as he healed and forgave Peter who denied him, the other Apostles who betrayed him, and Paul who persecuted and killed his followers.

Now is an excellent time for you and all of us to focus on the different devotions to the Divine Mercy. The Feast of Divine Mercy Sunday is actually next Sunday (one week after Easter), which makes me think it’s meant for you

You can read up about many of these - including the Feast day, the Chaplet, the Novena (which traditionally is begun on Good Friday), here.

I especially recommend the Litany of the Divine Mercy as well, which is really beautiful, you can find that here.

God bless.

 

[puzzleannie]

seeking good counselling from a Christian counsellor who understands why you are grieving is a good idea, and there will be a definite grief process. The Chuch has sacraments precisely for this reason, because the sacraments heal, and we are in need of healing.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Hi twosweet,
I was completely unfamiliar with the essure procedure, so I did a search. I turned up this from their website:

During the first 3 months following the procedure, your body and the micro-inserts work together to form a tissue barrier that prevents sperm from reaching the egg. During this period, you will need to use another form of birth control.
After 3 months, your doctor will perform an Essure Confirmation Test, a special type of x-ray to confirm that your tubes are completely blocked and you can rely on the Essure micro-inserts for birth control
http://www.essure.com/Home/Understanding/WhatisEssure/tabid/55/Default.aspx

The procedure appears to take 3 months to block your tubes–since you just did this Friday, maybe it’s not too late to reverse it. I don’t know if that’s the case, but if you already regret your decision, it’s worth asking if they can remove the inserts.

As to the absolution, go to confession again. What you did was wrong, but I suspect you know that already. I don’t know if your previous confessor somehow failed to support Church teachings or if you simply proceeded with it out of weakness and fear. Whatever the case, go back to confession again. While this was a serious sin, do not despair.

As others wrote, the internet may not be the best place to get advice so I strongly recommend that you speak ASAP to both a priest and to a pro-life Catholic doctor.

 

[mommyof4]

Twosweet, I have been in a similar situation, and I think I know a little bit how you feel. Please know that I am praying for you.

 

[Seatuck]

I don’t know what I feel now. Empty? Bereft? Indifferent? Angry? Betrayed? Guilty? Perhaps all of them.

You see, on Friday I chose to have a tubal occlusion–the Essure procedure, similar to a ligation except not as invasive. My last baby was born 10 weeks ago under very difficult circumstances and complications, and knowing that another baby would very likely be dangerous, I had the Essure procedure done. My husband refused a vasectomy, and I didn’t want to take hormones. I tried the Creighton Model of FertilityCare, but that’s how we got pregnant with our second and last child.

I feel like I let God down now. I don’t feel worthy of even being in Church or even going near the Blessed Sacrament. I talked to my priest about my decision two weeks ago in confession, and though he was very sweet and pronounced absolution, I feel like I totally don’t deserve it, now that I went ahead with the procedure.

I don’t think I can even begin to verbalize what I’m feeling now. Or, rather, what I’m NOT feeling. That scares me.

Please help. . . ?

You can’t get absolution for an act you haven’t done yet. Go back to confession. You have not been absolved for getting this procedure yet. Just for thinking about it. I’m not surprised you are feeling guilty.You probably shouldn’t be receiving communion since you seemed to realize that you should not have gone through with it in advance.

I’m sorry you were struggling with this fear. I can understand the emotions you are feeling somewhat. I had a tubal ligation years ago. It took me along time before I even understood why what I did was wrong …I had a lot of guilt for a while . I practiced a form of NFP in reparation. I’m sorry the Priest didn’t try to dissuade you.I wish you knew someone who could have helped you be strong and not make this mistake.

 

[1ke]

We all let God down about a million times a day. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for holiness, only that we know it’s a very high bar. That is why God gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

You were under quite a bit of duress and not thinking clearly. Pregnancy hormones also could have played a part in this. You made a rash decision and now that you are thinking clearly you have realized that you needed to seek Reconciliation and you did.

You are forgiven!

You know it was wrong and you confessed it. Now you need to discern if you should reverse it or not-- it’s not required but each couple should consider it. www.omsoul.com has some great materials on reversal.

As for NFP, I am sorry that you conceived when you did not want to. Perhaps you should learn another method or take some retraining. Tubals aren’t always 100%.

Talk to your health care provider about your depression. (That’s what it seems like to me).

Edited to add: I reread your post and see that your priest attempted to give you some sort of “premptive” absolution. This is not possible!

I am so sorry your priest let you down here. Go talk to another priest and seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

 

[duskyjewel]

I have no idea about the removal of the inserts, since she did just have this done last week. That might be possible. However, once the scar tissue has started to grow in and block the tubes, this procedure is IRREVERSIBLE. The only way to get those things out of her body would be to remove her entire tubes, and then of course, she would still be infertile. Unless she can get them removed because it has been less than a week, she has permanently ended her fertility. Unless she were to resort to IVF, but that would be again going outside Church teaching.

I did a lot of research on Essure, even had an appointment with a doctor, when I was thinking of getting it myself. (I was a very stubborn birth control dissenter for a long time, and though I am now following Church teaching, I still struggle with it nearly every day. I am pregnant right now, and I still wrestle with myself over these issues!)

twosweetgirls,
I am not sure I have much comfort for you. Except to say that you can ask for and receive absolution any time! All sin is when we proceed with something we know is wrong, whether out of weakness, fear, outside social pressures (being pregnant with my 5th, I know a lot about that one!), selfishness, whatever. And it seems that your regret is truly genuine. And, it sounds like, if you had the choice, you wouldn’t do it again. (And even if you wanted to, you can’t do it again.) Seems to me you fulfill the requirements for a valid confession on this. It doesn’t matter to God why you fell, it matters to him that you realize you did something wrong, you regret it, and you are asking him for forgiveness. The hardest part, though, is forgiving ourselves. That is where some compassionate counseling from a priest or other counselor will come in and help.

 

[essure]

Hi twosweet,
I was completely unfamiliar with the essure procedure, so I did a search. I turned up this from their website:
The procedure appears to take 3 months to block your tubes–since you just did this Friday, maybe it’s not too late to reverse it. I don’t know if that’s the case, but if you already regret your decision, it’s worth asking if they can remove the inserts.

As to the absolution, go to confession again. What you did was wrong, but I suspect you know that already. I don’t know if your previous confessor somehow failed to support Church teachings or if you simply proceeded with it out of weakness and fear. Whatever the case, go back to confession again. While this was a serious sin, do not despair.

As others wrote, the internet may not be the best place to get advice so I strongly recommend that you speak ASAP to both a priest and to a pro-life Catholic doctor.

I agree with gardenswithkids. Essure failure happens in rare cases. The procedure takes 3 months to block your tubes and might be few more days in some cases.