Blase6:
Fully satisfying interaction with God in this world is impossible…
I simply don’t understand how you have come to this conclusion.
The plethora of Saints stand in stark opposition to this claim, among them St. Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, and even Thomas Aquinas.
Thomas went so far as to when He actually was granted a true experience of God’s grace he almost destroyed his accumlative body of works because he said that they together amounted “to so much straw.”
Perhaps it would be better if you would alter your approach from the merely discursive and intellectual pursuit of God to the more contemplative and prayerful.
Blase6:
…so I will use reason to understand God as well as I can. If it cannot help me understand God, I will throw it away. I am becoming convinced that the law of non-contradiction is false. I can only understand God now as a Being wholly logical and illogical at once.
I still wish I could understand the workings of a strange and absurd world.
Then you’re asking to be disappointed. This is not to say that the Law of Non-contradiction is invalid (hardly), its your approach which is mistaken. Thomas Aquinas reached a similar situation where he knew a lot about God, but he really didn’t know God. So he turned to prayer.
It seems as though you are abandoning the virtue of faith, which if true is your first mistake. God is a personal God, not a logical abstract. He must be approached with faith, not merely intellectual believe but volitional surrender.
St. Augustine wrote, “I believe (first) so that I may understand, the more I understand the better do I believe.”
It seems to me that prayer should be your primary focus, not the intellectual pursuit of God.
Fr. Thomas DuBay has a short primer on Prayer titled, “Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer”. I would hope that you would give it a look.