The fourth commandment

[cristyd]

Can someone please give me more details about the forth commandment. What does exactly mean to Honor your Mother and Father. Can you give me exact exmples of not honoring your parents. Here i mean for adult people, not for children.
Is it a sin to refuse to do the university they choose for you because you don’t like it? Should you be forced to do it only because you don’t want to upset them.
Is marring somebody they don’t like a sin?
Is having a creer they dislike a sin?
Is disagrring with them a sin?
Is telling them what you think they did wrong a sin?
Is not respecting their whish a sin, when you believe that doing what they want is not the right/correct thing to do?
Is it a sin to tell your father he is not treating your mother right?
Is complaing abot them a sin?

 

[bethanysamuel]

I think it means not only honouring your parents, but authority in general, i.e. obedience to the law[unless it contradicts Moral Law].

You can disagree with your parents but respect them and not say bad things about them. You can politely tell them you don’t agree with certain things.

You can live your life independently from them but i think the Catechism says to look after them in old age, sickness, etc.

 

[laszlo]

Not all is sin, but most is mistake.

It is natural that adolescent (and some remain adolescent longer than others) want to be independent from their parents. Most of them starts to honor them later.

Can someone please give me more details about the forth commandment. What does exactly mean to Honor your Mother and Father. Can you give me exact exmples of not honoring your parents. Here i mean for adult people, not for children.
Is it a sin to refuse to do the university they choose for you because you don’t like it? Should you be forced to do it only because you don’t want to upset them.
Is marring somebody they don’t like a sin?
Is having a creer they dislike a sin?
Is disagrring with them a sin?
Is telling them what you think they did wrong a sin?
Is not respecting their whish a sin, when you believe that doing what they want is not the right/correct thing to do?
Is it a sin to tell your father he is not treating your mother right?
Is complaing abot them a sin?

 

[OscarsMama]

Here i mean for adult people, not for children.

Is it a sin to refuse to do the university they choose for you because you don’t like it? Should you be forced to do it only because you don’t want to upset them.

Is marring somebody they don’t like a sin?

Is having a creer they dislike a sin?

Is not respecting their whish a sin, when you believe that doing what they want is not the right/correct thing to do?

Is complaing abot them a sin?

Just like you asked, this is for adult children. Obviously, children (young children) have to do what their parents say. If a mom tells a 10 year old to go to a certain school, then that 10 year old has to do it. Otherwise, all 10 year olds would be on a playground eating gummy bears all day long!!! (Or maybe that would have just been me??!!?? )

Anyway, none of those things is a sin. If you want to go to a certain university, then that is YOUR choice. However, if your parents are paying for it, they have the ultimate decision making power there. If you are going to pay for it and are over 18 years old, it is up to you.

Marrying somebody that they don’t like is not a sin, but it can create issues in the family. I think the best thing to do in this instance is to try to figure out WHY they don’t like the person. If they don’t like the person because the person treats YOU poorly, then that is something to take to heart. They want what is best for their children. However, if they don’t like the person because his/her name is Sam or Jane and they don’t like that name, well, then…

Same thing for the career path. For example, I am in a particular career that my mother is not really THAT excited about. (Though she has never said that to me specifically). My career has some dangerous risks to it and she worries about me. But she supports my career path because it is a moral, legal, legimiate career choice.

As an adult, it is up to you to make your own decisions. You are ultimately responsible for your own choices. So, if your parents are telling you to do something that you KNOW is wrong (get an abortion, for example), then it is up to you to NOT follow that advice.

I hope complaining about them is not a sin!!! . I had a wonderful childhood and I love my parents dearly. I speak to them often and they are a huge part of my life, but I have complained about them!?!??!

 

[cristyd]

Just like you asked, this is for adult children. Obviously, children (young children) have to do what their parents say. If a mom tells a 10 year old to go to a certain school, then that 10 year old has to do it. Otherwise, all 10 year olds would be on a playground eating gummy bears all day long!!! (Or maybe that would have just been me??!!?? )

Anyway, none of those things is a sin. If you want to go to a certain university, then that is YOUR choice. However, if your parents are paying for it, they have the ultimate decision making power there. If you are going to pay for it and are over 18 years old, it is up to you.

Marrying somebody that they don’t like is not a sin, but it can create issues in the family. I think the best thing to do in this instance is to try to figure out WHY they don’t like the person. If they don’t like the person because the person treats YOU poorly, then that is something to take to heart. They want what is best for their children. However, if they don’t like the person because his/her name is Sam or Jane and they don’t like that name, well, then…

Same thing for the career path. For example, I am in a particular career that my mother is not really THAT excited about. (Though she has never said that to me specifically). My career has some dangerous risks to it and she worries about me. But she supports my career path because it is a moral, legal, legimiate career choice.

As an adult, it is up to you to make your own decisions. You are ultimately responsible for your own choices. So, if your parents are telling you to do something that you KNOW is wrong (get an abortion, for example), then it is up to you to NOT follow that advice.

I hope complaining about them is not a sin!!! . I had a wonderful childhood and I love my parents dearly. I speak to them often and they are a huge part of my life, but I have complained about them!?!??!

I agree with almost all the things you said. Only one thing. I know that if the parents are paying for the university they have the right to also take part in the decision. However we are speaking here about the child’s life and about something that he will do for the rest of his life. If a parent wants the best for his child then he should support him/her in doing what he likes and what he is best at.
In my country it is almost impossbile to support yourself as a young man, with no qualification and no work experience through school.
I saw many cases in which the children finish the university chosen by the parents and either:

• they hate their career and their jobs all their life and so they suffer all their life
• they use the diploma to get a good job and then they support themselves to another university and so the money spent by the parents are waisted and also 4 years of the child’s life is waisted

 

[cristyd]

Not all is sin, but most is mistake.

It is natural that adolescent (and some remain adolescent longer than others) want to be independent from their parents. Most of them starts to honor them later.

Why is wanting to be independent a mistake. I believe even the parents wish that their children will be able to support themselves and not be dependend on the parents all their life.

 

[laszlo]

Why is wanting to be independent a mistake. I believe even the parents wish that their children will be able to support themselves and not be dependend on the parents all their life.

Modus in rebus. In temporary decisions the independence is good, in decision involving the whole life, the adolescent is not mature enough to make decisions.

As for the college the adolescent can be independent only taking large sum of loans, which is wrong; abusing that parents to let pay fro what the do not want is irresponsibility and thus wrong.

As for the marriage until the end of the 19th century parents made the decisions and 98% of the marriages lasted until death. As soon a the parents role was replaced by love, independent decision, whatever, half of the marriages started to end up with divorce.

 

[UnusVeritas]

Can someone please give me more details about the forth commandment. What does exactly mean to Honor your Mother and Father. Can you give me exact exmples of not honoring your parents. Here i mean for adult people, not for children.
Is it a sin to refuse to do the university they choose for you because you don’t like it? Should you be forced to do it only because you don’t want to upset them.
Is marring somebody they don’t like a sin?
Is having a creer they dislike a sin?
Is disagrring with them a sin?
Is telling them what you think they did wrong a sin?
Is not respecting their whish a sin, when you believe that doing what they want is not the right/correct thing to do?
Is it a sin to tell your father he is not treating your mother right?
Is complaing abot them a sin?

1. No, you can choose to go to any moral university you want to.
2. You shouldn’t feel forced into it, but sometimes it’s the best way diplomatically.
3. No, but you should try to take their advice on marriage seriously. After considering it, if you still think the person you chose was good, then go ahead.
4. It’s only a sin if the career itself is sinful, ie, prostitution.
5. It’s only a sin if you’re wrong and they’re right, but in principle, there’s nothing wrong with that.
6. No, but you have to respect them, even if you resist what they want for you.
7. No it’s not. You have a moral obligation to do so if it’s so.
8. That’s a grey area. Try not to do it too much, and don’t do it publicly. Perhaps only sometimes to one good friend if you have to blow off some steam.

Just try to remember that parents are people too. By honoring them, you have to take what they say seriously, and think it over. But they’re people, and they can be wrong. If you have considered what they’ve said and still don’t think it’s right, then by all means, politely disagree and do what you think is right.

 

[cristyd]

Modus in rebus. In temporary decisions the independence is good, in decision involving the whole life, the adolescent is not mature enough to make decisions.

As for the college the adolescent can be independent only taking large sum of loans, which is wrong; abusing that parents to let pay fro what the do not want is irresponsibility and thus wrong.

As for the marriage until the end of the 19th century parents made the decisions and 98% of the marriages lasted until death. As soon a the parents role was replaced by love, independent decision, whatever, half of the marriages started to end up with divorce.

But forcing their children to do something they will hate all their lives and make their lives miserable is moral?

Al the people i know who chose what they want to do with their lives are very happy about it. Children are not as stupid as people think.

Yes, i know, the arranged marriages ended up all life while each of them were cheating each other behind their back and pretending they were perfect families because they knew they can’t divorce. Sorry if i believe that arranged marriages are ****. But my grandparents were in an arranged marriage and they cheated each other. My parents married from love and they are happily toghether for more then 35 years.
In the 19th century it was not possible to divorce or it was a huge scandal to do so. That is why all marrieges lasted.