The Friend Zone

[adamhovey1988]

This is misogynistic drivel, coming from someone who sounds bitter.

If a guy likes a girl and she doesn’t like him back, there is no reason why he can’t find another girl and remain friends with the girl he asked out, unless he personally has no interest in staying friends. If a guy entertains a longing for the girl after she has stated that she sees him as a friend, that is HIS problem. The girl always only saw him as a friend. This article is written as if it’s the woman’s fault that she “led him on” by being simply friendly.

It is unhealthy to isolate yourself from an entire sex. I work in a industry that is male-dominated. I am perfectly capable of being friends with men and they are perfectly capable of being friends with me.

That’s not a very good response in my opinion, but I do understand what you’re saying. I also disagree with the OP as MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FEMALE. One of the consequences of being raised by your mother.

 

[EasterJoy]

I haven’t caught up with this thread, so apologies in advance.

I have two main responses to this comment:

1. It also works the other way around–it is possible for a woman to be smitten with a man who sees her only as a friend. (Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.)
2. I would interpret the study findings a bit differently. Here’s why:

In my experience, same-sex female friendship has a depth and emotional intimacy that does not generally exist in platonic same-sex male friendships. The emotional coloring of a same sex-female relationship often resembles that of a heterosexual romantic relationship. This has some interesting consequences. First of all, when this sort of relationship between two girls or women cools off or goes sour, it’s a lot like the break-up of a romantic relationship in terms of fallout. Secondly, perhaps because female same-sex friendship tends to be very warm and emotionally intimate, it’s natural for women to bring that same approach to a platonic friendship with a man–leading to very natural misunderstandings and lots of whiny complaining internet articles who don’t know what female friendship looks like or feels like.

Oh, yes, some of us have been “every guy’s sister.” Other guys’ girlfriends don’t even mind having you around their boyfriends, because you are so **not **a threat. That’s really great until you’d actually like to be seen as something different.

Women who would rather be around groups of guys sometimes have friendships that are more like platonic friendships that men have (which is probably why they’d both rather have guys as friends most of the time). Even then, though, it is still a female-female friendship.