The Girl In Church

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William777

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This is something so common for me. I have such a strange feeling about it - maybe it will help to just talk about it.

So I go to mass this evening, and - as always - there’s a girl who sits on the other side of the pews in the small chapel. She’s pretty, and, well, a bit of a distraction.

I kind of go out of my way for her when I am around her, but I am not around her often enough to go out of my way as much as I’d like. So that’s how I feel.

But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
 
I see no problem in asking her to go for coffee, dinner, a parish event, etc after mass or whenever.

You could also start noticing each other by saying “hello” or “goodbye,” whatever works best…
 
I would suggest introducing yourself at an opportune time. Something like, ‘Hello, I don’t think we have met. My name is Joe.’ Keep it simple and straightforward.

Then stop and see how she reacts. If she seems friendly and makes small talk, then think about asking her out for coffee or something else low-key. If she takes off like Edwin Moses or starts talking about her boyfriend, then best let her be. Good luck.
 
William777 said:
But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
Click to expand...
Church isn’t a place to “pick-up”, but it is certainly an appropriate place to meet people of the opposite sex, with whom you share a fundamentally important basis for any relationship.

You sound like you may be quite shy and not sure how to go about meeting her. I was very shy too and it can be hard for guys like us. One thing in your favour is that “church manners” will make it hard for her to be dismissive towards you, so just be friendly and introduce yourself - after mass would be the appropriate time to do so. Ask her to go for a coffee. If she say no, no harm done. If she says yes, well, you never know…

I met my (now) wife at a church event.

Good luck.
 
You gotta fish in the right pond…

I agree with the others, after Mass i would approach her and just say hello and introduce yourself. No harm, no foul. Yes, if she is into small talk with you, yuppers, ask her out on a coffee date. Go for my brother!!!👍
 
My parents met in church almost 40 years ago. My mom had been looking for a nice guy but couldn’t find one. My dad was alter serving at the church.

She was praying her prayers after Mass and my dad comes and interrupts her and asks her out to the church dance the following week. My mom asked the priest who he was because she didn’t know him. The priest said to go with him to the dance and just ditch him at intermission if it didn’t go well. (jokingly of course)

Luckily for me, she did not ditch him and they have been very happily married. Happier than any other couple I have ever seen.

So you never know, church may be the best place to meet a girl. Sure was for my dad.
 
I met my wife at Mass, we talked for a few weeks in the parking lot after service was done.
We exchanged a couple emails, then a couple more emails and before you know it I have three kids.
 
JeraldW said:
You gotta fish in the right pond…

I agree with the others, after Mass i would approach her and just say hello and introduce yourself. No harm, no foul. Yes, if she is into small talk with you, yuppers, ask her out on a coffee date. Go for my brother!!!👍
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I would give this same advice!
 
If your looking for someone with the same values and obviously the same faith, then why wouldn’t look for the right “gal” at church? To my thinking if I was still on the market that is exactly where I would look. Just introduce your self after Mass and ask her if she would like to grab a cup of coffee and a doughnut in the social hall and see what happens. 👍
 
William777 said:
This is something so common for me. I have such a strange feeling about it - maybe it will help to just talk about it.

So I go to mass this evening, and - as always - there’s a girl who sits on the other side of the pews in the small chapel. She’s pretty, and, well, a bit of a distraction.

I kind of go out of my way for her when I am around her, but I am not around her often enough to go out of my way as much as I’d like. So that’s how I feel.

But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
Click to expand...
You need to talk to her a few times before asking her out. If you just go up and ask, her first reaction will probably be to say no.

It’s important to be patient on this, and once you’ve talked to her a few times, after mass would be a good time to ask her.

And when you ask—I wouldn’t call it a “date” to start off with. Don’t worry about the classification, unless she specifically asks. Have something specific in mind with what you want to do, and I would recommend against anything (movie or play) were you two can’t talk much.

Best of luck!
 
William777 said:
This is something so common for me. I have such a strange feeling about it - maybe it will help to just talk about it.

So I go to mass this evening, and - as always - there’s a girl who sits on the other side of the pews in the small chapel. She’s pretty, and, well, a bit of a distraction.

I kind of go out of my way for her when I am around her, but I am not around her often enough to go out of my way as much as I’d like. So that’s how I feel.

But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
Click to expand...
Dude just start talking to her before Mass and then when you become acquainted ask her out for coffee after Mass.

Church is not a pick-up joint? Sorry I can’t think of any place better to find your future wife than in Church. 👍
 
You never know, she might be asking God to meet a nice Catholic boy, so you just might be the answer to her prayers. 😉

As already said, introduce yourself the first time and then say hi with a smile a couple of following Sundays, and then ask her for coffee - some place public though so she feels ok - the Church after-Mass coffee/doughnut thing is good, or a nearby starbucks type shop (absolutely insist on paying for her and do so.)

Here’s the kicker - assuming you get to the coffee-drinking, while there chit chat as best you can over one cup of coffee, and before you depart, say something like, "I’ve enjoyed talking with you.’ If she agrees (“I have too.”) that’s your clue to say something like, “Maybe we can do this again next Sunday?”

Also, if she mentions her boyfriend early on, time to move on.

Good luck and God bless you.
 
Thinking about dating a girl just because she’s pretty? Oh come on!
 
She’ pretty yes, but he knows something about her that is more important - she is a Catholic woman who attends Mass. A God-fearing woman is beautiful and to be treasured!

*“Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting;the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” *Proverbs 31:30

A woman who fears the Lord is a rare and a precious thing, and a gift of God’s grace. She is the most attractive woman to God and to believers that could possibly be known.

God bless you.
 
Honestly, just introduce yourself. Whatever happens, you’ll be better for it, and you never know what could happen:thumbsup: You are so lucky to meet someone in church. As a fellow catholic guy, I wish I could find girls in church. Unfortunately my parishes demographics aren’t in my favor, as of now anyway
 
William777 said:
This is something so common for me. I have such a strange feeling about it - maybe it will help to just talk about it.

So I go to mass this evening, and - as always - there’s a girl who sits on the other side of the pews in the small chapel. She’s pretty, and, well, a bit of a distraction.

I kind of go out of my way for her when I am around her, but I am not around her often enough to go out of my way as much as I’d like. So that’s how I feel.

But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
Click to expand...
Take a cold shower and behave.
 
sigh
It’s in your interpretation of the situation. The term “pick-up” refers to going up to a woman whom you want to pick-up, take home and have sex with. You’re not looking to do that. You’re looking to meet someone whom you would like to get to know better and see if perhaps you might have a future with that person. It’s perfectly fine to do so while at church. Just don’t be creepy.

My one set of grandparent met in the schola at church. My grandpa sang tenor and my grandm played the organ. My other set of grandparents met at church while praying the rosary. Meeting your future spouse at church isn’t unheard of.
 
One thing to remember is that the very Tim Staples who is in charge of Catholic Answers first saw his wife praying in a Church. If I remember correctly she asked him to pray for someone so he prayed with her, and voila. He is married and his wife is pregnant with his fifth or sixth child I believe. To be fair he is hard to compare with since he is after all a Marine and an ex-Seminarian, but if it worked for him it very well may work for you. 👍
 
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