The Greater Good

[anytimequilter]

I have been challenged to think of the “greater good” in situations. I think I need some help with this

I can vaguely understand this idea, but I am not sure if I truly understand completely.

Part of me says this means to “get over yourself” and do what is best for others. Is it really that clean cut? How do I know what is better for others? (in normal every day situations, I realize that some situations will be very clear as what is better for others)

Any thoughts?

 

[Regina7]

It’s called empathy. I just finished reading a book on the temperaments (awesome Catholic book- The Temperament God Gave Me). Some people are born with empathy and others are not. I’m like you- I’m not good at it. So we have to be taught empathy. Honestly, the best suggestion is to find a trusted friend (one who is empathetic),explain your goal and go to him/her. Ask what s/he is thinking.

Also, go read that book! It’s quite helpful!

 

[anytimequilter]

Seriously? Empathy is the Greater Good? hhhmmmm I am going to have to think about that some. I mean… empathy for who?

Example: a woman is married to an alcoholic and they have young children. Is she to be empathetic to her husband and his situation or empathetic to her children and their situation???

 

[XuDan]

Seriously? Empathy is the Greater Good? hhhmmmm I am going to have to think about that some. I mean… empathy for who?

Example: a woman is married to an alcoholic and they have young children. Is she to be empathetic to her husband and his situation or empathetic to her children and their situation???

That is a false dichotomy, she is of course to be empathetic to all involved in the situations. It is a common mistake people make to think that because you are empathetic that you condone or support those you empathize with. For example, empathy for the alcoholic means us connect to their suffering and torment that their addiction causes them. It allows for better psychological understanding of the disease and enables a person to be more positive in the treatment and later sober management of the disease. Likewise empathy towards her children will help her to understand the confusion, frustrations, disappointments, etc. so that she can be a better mother to them. Empathy towards both allows her to decide the course of actions that she will need to act on or support/encourage/demand that will both protect her family (all members) and heal it. These things are different for every circumstance, there is no cookie cutter solution. Then of course there is empathy for the tertiary relationships like those of extended family and friends and how they are feeling and reacting to the situation as their words and actions motivated by their feelings directly and indirectly impact all involved.

So, to answer the question, “empathy for whom?” Empathy for all.

 

[anytimequilter]

That is a false dichotomy, she is of course to be empathetic to all involved in the situations. It is a common mistake people make to think that because you are empathetic that you condone or support those you empathize with. For example, empathy for the alcoholic means us connect to their suffering and torment that their addiction causes them. It allows for better psychological understanding of the disease and enables a person to be more positive in the treatment and later sober management of the disease. Likewise empathy towards her children will help her to understand the confusion, frustrations, disappointments, etc. so that she can be a better mother to them. Empathy towards both allows her to decide the course of actions that she will need to act on or support/encourage/demand that will both protect her family (all members) and heal it. These things are different for every circumstance, there is no cookie cutter solution. Then of course there is empathy for the tertiary relationships like those of extended family and friends and how they are feeling and reacting to the situation as their words and actions motivated by their feelings directly and indirectly impact all involved.

So, to answer the question, “empathy for whom?” Empathy for all.

XuDan - I agree with all of your thoughts. I believe you are correct; however I am not sure I understand why you say this is a “false dichotomy”. Perhaps it is how my original thought behind my original post “The Greater Good”.

I was viewing the greater good as in an action… “do the greater good”. While empathy is an active emotion and I do agree with your “empathy for all” statement… I suppose I asked my original question as more like “choose the greater good”. An action a choice to make - - - pick the greater good over an other option.

 

[XuDan]

XuDan - I agree with all of your thoughts. I believe you are correct; however I am not sure I understand why you say this is a “false dichotomy”. Perhaps it is how my original thought behind my original post “The Greater Good”.

I was viewing the greater good as in an action… “do the greater good”. While empathy is an active emotion and I do agree with your “empathy for all” statement… I suppose I asked my original question as more like “choose the greater good”. An action a choice to make - - - pick the greater good over an other option.

I apologize for the lack of clarity on my part, the false dichotomy was in reference to your example. It isn’t simple a choice of two (empathizing with the alcoholic husband OR the child[ren]) there is a third option of both, there are even more options once you factor in friends and extended family like his parents, siblings, and the wife’s parents. It isn’t as black and white as the example suggested. I was simply pointing out the fallacy of the example and then trying to use that as a means to expound upon empathy and exhort a universal empathy that could lead to a Christ-like compassion, which would be the greater good for everyone. In life there are rarely, if ever, just two choices. There are a myriad of them at every cross road. Does that clarify?

Again, my apologies for not being clear in the first place as to what I was pointing out.

 

[anytimequilter]

I apologize for the lack of clarity on my part, the false dichotomy was in reference to your example.

No need to apologize. I welcome (name removed by moderator)ut, information is the best way to get a better understanding. And I agree my example is not an “either/or” situation… as in having empathy for either only the children or having empathy only for the alcoholic.

You need to have empathy for everyone… as much as you can. My though was what action should be taken to find the greater good. Maybe there is not an answer… so that explains why I can’t find my solution

 

[XuDan]

In this example situation, with out any mitigating details, I believe the compassionate action for the greater good is to help both. Protect the children in a way that would not harm their perception and respect for their father and likewise not harm the father. In addition do what one can to help the husband. Outside of the vacuum this can be difficult: is the husband abusive to the wife and/or child(ren) when drunk? Not all alcoholics are violent or abusive of others. So, with out all the facts of a real life situation it isn’t possible to come to a pragmatic decision. Sometimes the greater good is to sacrifice one or more things for another (or more). Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Sometimes the needs of the few out weight the needs of the many. There is no perfect answer except empathy, compassion, prayer, and the loving kindness that is the result of those things. Those are the tools that can lead us through unknown and difficult situations.

 

[anytimequilter]

Thank you for your thoughts. I wasn’t necessarily looking for answers as much as a path to think to make decisions