The Gym

[Em_in_FL]

Wow this thread got heated and defensive since I last posted!

I think people misunderstand the motivation for exercise (at least MY motivation)… it’s NOT for a “hot bod” or even to look better! It’s for my overall wellbeing.
Exercising dumps a lot of chemicals into your system… endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine… all of which improve our overall wellbeing… physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If we’re healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, we will naturally have increased sexual drive, more energy, more of those “love” feelings… thanks to those fantastic chemicals that our body releases during exercise! When we’re happier, we’re more inclined to WANT to spend time with our spouses, WANT to flirt with them, and have a more passionate relations…
It doesn’t have anything (in my opinion) to do with “looking hot”… it has to do with “feeling good”. I don’t desire my husband because he’s sexy (okay, maybe a little ), I desire him because my overall wellbeing is healthy, and it makes me WANT to truly LOVE him more. Does that make sense?

God created our bodies as temples, so we are to respect them! This doesn’t involve JUST eating right… or JUST exercising… or JUST getting enough rest… it involves ALL of those things. They work together as a system, reliant on one another.

This has nothing to do with our spiritual lives… it’s not one or the other here… physical wellbeing OR spiritual wellbeing. These things can be combined as well! My favorite thing to do at the gym is the workout on the elliptical machine and say a rosary! On Saturdays we take a family bike ride (15-20 miles) and we say a rosary as a family during the bike ride! It doesn’t have to be “either - or”… it CAN be BOTH!

I know the original poster started this thread out of frustration from reading other threads… because people complain that their intimate lives with their spouses aren’t what they used to be. He makes some suggestions about how to fix that! If your intimate lives with your spouses aren’t suffering… then don’t take offense at the suggestions!.. it was just an idea (at least that’s how I interpreted the thread!)…

Just my thoughts…

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

I think one important aspect that is being overlooked here is that putting on weight and not caring about your appearance can be signs that something is wrong.

To the OP, I hope you won’t make your wife feel like an object that is there to just be sexually attractive and that if she were to lose that she would lose your love. That’s kind of dehumanizing.

here here!

---

whether we like it or not our spouses are not going to stay the same, physically, mentally, emotionally. time changes a lot. I’m not as blond as I used to be and my beloved as the sexiest little bare spot growing (but he is NOT going bald! ) So what?

---

my #1 concern about weight doesn’t have anything to do with the look of it. to ME I would worry a LOT about the health risks, esp as my dh has type 1 diabetes. For me, I know first hand how much extra misery it can make for a pregnancy and recovery and try to avoid letting that happen to myself again.

---

**10 lbs? who cares? but if I notice they are tired more, having to buy several higher sizes in clothes, having a harder time getting around, buying junk nearly every meal, feeling like they can’t make themselves look good - that would bother me because I would see not the weight, but the health issues and difficulties and unhappiness it is causing them. **

---

I want my spouse to be as happy and healthy as possible, regardless of how they look!

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Exercising dumps a lot of chemicals into your system… endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine… all of which improve our overall wellbeing… physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If we’re healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, we will naturally have increased sexual drive, more energy, more of those “love” feelings… thanks to those fantastic chemicals that our body releases during exercise! When we’re happier, we’re more inclined to WANT to spend time with our spouses, WANT to flirt with them, and have a more passionate relations…
It doesn’t have anything (in my opinion) to do with “looking hot”… it has to do with “feeling good”. …

Folks I have to confess I know this to be true.
Way back in the day, I did have a personal coach. (That I used about once a week for 2 months before I got preggo again. )
**Dh used to wait with baiting breath for me to get home from those 1 hour workouts at the gym, not because I was particuliarly prettier when I came in the door or the results were dramatic (they weren’t), but because I was on a excercise high and unusually happy and receptive to his advances. **

 

[whatevergirl]

Yes–feeling good is my motivator. There is a lot to be said for strength training, I say this especially to the ladies on here. It is very important to do some form of strength training, even more so than cardio my sister’s personal trainer told her recently. My sister is 52, and he said it’s never too late to start, because as a woman ages, she loses serious bone density…thus a candidate for early osteoporosis…so, for me, I have started up again with this–and you really feel kinda good when you’re getting stronger. Like you’re accomplishing something…

I would suggest that if you have a hard time fitting in cardio…try some strength training a few days per week…you’ll really be feeling good, and when you cross train, you really rev up your heart rate. And you can use gallon jugs of water or milk to start with, no need to run right out and buy a full weight set. We bought a weight set for my son, and he spots me…that is so cool to be able to workout with my son…it’s good to get your kiddies involved…depending on their age.

I finally came to the conclusion many years ago, as I had to start watching more of what I was eating, and couldn’t eat anything I wanted and stay a size 6… …that if I had time to watch tv…I had time to workout. So, I would sometimes workout while watching a fave show…so I didn’t miss a thing!

 

[CatholicSam]

Emily, great post! I think this OP happens to be a single, inexperienced, selfish and immature person without the first clue about the kind of love needed in a truly Christian marriage. His idea of how to fix a relationship comes straight off of MTV. He has the basic idea that exercise is important, but his rationale for such is so far off base that it really rubbed me the wrong way! I sincerely hope that he spends a **lot **of good quality time in marriage prep before taking his vows one day. The notion that being a little out of shape gives one spouse permission to stop loving him/her is just absurd (and sadly a very prevalent idea in today’s secular arena).

But you said very eloquently just what I was feeling! And you’re right, it’s not either/or!

 

[whatevergirl]

Emily, great post! I think this OP happens to be a single, inexperienced, selfish and immature person without the first clue about the kind of love needed in a truly Christian marriage. His idea of how to fix a relationship comes straight off of MTV. He has the basic idea that exercise is important, but his rationale for such is so far off base that it really rubbed me the wrong way! I sincerely hope that he spends a **lot **of good quality time in marriage prep before taking his vows one day. The notion that being a little out of shape gives one spouse permission to stop loving him/her is just absurd (and sadly a very prevalent idea in today’s secular arena).

But you said very eloquently just what I was feeling! And you’re right, it’s not either/or!

Hi Sam! Just a note…I think the OP is married…he has another thread going about his mother in law

I agree with you in your last statement…that when a spouse changes in appearance, that this gives the other spouse permission to stop loving that person…what a sad marriage that would be, indeed.

 

[mschrank]

Emily, great post! I think this OP happens to be a single, inexperienced, selfish and immature person without the first clue about the kind of love needed in a truly Christian marriage. His idea of how to fix a relationship comes straight off of MTV. He has the basic idea that exercise is important, but his rationale for such is so far off base that it really rubbed me the wrong way! I sincerely hope that he spends a **lot **of good quality time in marriage prep before taking his vows one day. The notion that being a little out of shape gives one spouse permission to stop loving him/her is just absurd (and sadly a very prevalent idea in today’s secular arena).

But you said very eloquently just what I was feeling! And you’re right, it’s not either/or!

Instead of descending to argumentum ad hominem like you did, I’m simply flagging this post. Hmm, obviously all that spirituality which you partake in hasn’t taken to you. Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to say bad things about people?

 

[CatholicSam]

Instead of descending to argumentum ad hominem like you did, I’m simply flagging this post. Hmm, obviously all that spirituality which you partake in hasn’t taken to you. Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to say bad things about people?

I suggest you re-read your posts (especially this one) and take your own advice! Who’s being obtuse now, mschrank? But I really do have better things to do than to continue to hash this out.

I hope your wife doesn’t turn into a porkster one day, because I don’t think that’s grounds for annulment.

 

[franksv]

It’s like many aspects in life, balance & moderation.

I don’t think anyone would argue that a healthy lifestyle (eating right, exercise, plenty of rest etc) is a positive thing. But yeah, there is a line that can be crossed where one could become vain.

Like anything in life, you have to ask yourself if this draws you closer to the Lord, or leads you away from Him.

Faith, family and living your faith should be at the top of ones list period. So I strongly feel that if your calling right now only allows for that, so be it. But, if your choosing the couch & tv over some form of exercise, you may be doing yourself a great disservice.

In my opinion an exercise routine that is done with the intention of good health brings one closer to the Lord. If it’s all about looking a certain way, then maybe one should take an honest look at why they are exercising in the first place.

Not so long ago this was not even an issue cuz we lead more physical lives. Jesus & the apostles did’nt have to join a gym cuz they walked everywhere. Could you imagine walking evrerywhere? Locally and town to town, for all your needs, ministry and just plain visiting?

Today it’s an issue, cuz we are no where near as active as we used to be. I really don’t think men, or women where meant to sit in a box, by a computer all day. The only way we can compensate for this is to find some sort of activity that we hopefully enjoy and do it regularly.

 

[whatevergirl]

It’s like many aspects in life, balance & moderation.

I don’t think anyone would argue that a healthy lifestyle (eating right, exercise, plenty of rest etc) is a positive thing. But yeah, there is a line that can be crossed where one could become vain.

Like anything in life, you have to ask yourself if this draws you closer to the Lord, or leads you away from Him.

Faith, family and living your faith should be at the top of ones list period. So I strongly feel that if your calling right now only allows for that, so be it. But, if your choosing the couch & tv over some form of exercise, you may be doing yourself a great disservice.

In my opinion an exercise routine that is done with the intention of good health brings one closer to the Lord. If it’s all about looking a certain way, then maybe one should take an honest look at why they are exercising in the first place.

Not so long ago this was not even an issue cuz we lead more physical lives. Jesus & the apostles did’nt have to join a gym cuz they walked everywhere. Could you imagine walking evrerywhere? Locally and town to town, for all your needs, ministry and just plain visiting?

Today it’s an issue, cuz we are no where near as active as we used to be. I really don’t think men, or women where meant to sit in a box, by a computer all day. The only way we can compensate for this is to find some sort of activity that we hopefully enjoy and do it regularly.

:bowdown: AMEN!

 

[Zelie_Louis]

This is a reminder to all that charity is required when participating. Thank you for your cooperation.

 

[CatholicSam]

This is a reminder to all that charity is required when participating. Thank you for your cooperation.

Sorry!

 

[Guitar]

I know the original poster started this thread out of frustration from reading other threads… because people complain that their intimate lives with their spouses aren’t what they used to be. He makes some suggestions about how to fix that! If your intimate lives with your spouses aren’t suffering… then don’t take offense at the suggestions!.. it was just an idea (at least that’s how I interpreted the thread!)…

Just my thoughts…

If it’s a suggestion, great, and it’s not a bad one, but it does need to read that way rather than as a poster projecting their own views/drivers/hot buttons (which they are quite entitled to) with 100% certainty onto the spouses of the people complaining about their intimate lives. The comment by the OP that by his own logic fat people wouldn’t reproduce makes it look like the OP perhaps did not understand that it isn’t The Answer for everybody’s problems. The state of my intimate life has NOTHING, repeat nothing, to do with the physical shape my spouse is in, and EVERYTHING to do with how emotionally safe or otherwise I feel, and I say that as someone who did once have a fairly passionate relationship with an overweight person. It is a good suggestion but one that needs to be worded tactfully so that it doesn’t read as though people have to “earn” sexual love through their appearance.

 

[Em_in_FL]

If it’s a suggestion, great, and it’s not a bad one, but it does need to read that way rather than as a poster projecting their own views/drivers/hot buttons (which they are quite entitled to) with 100% certainty onto the spouses of the people complaining about their intimate lives. The comment by the OP that by his own logic fat people wouldn’t reproduce makes it look like the OP perhaps did not understand that it isn’t The Answer for everybody’s problems. The state of my intimate life has NOTHING, repeat nothing, to do with the physical shape my spouse is in, and EVERYTHING to do with how emotionally safe or otherwise I feel, and I say that as someone who did once have a fairly passionate relationship with an overweight person. It is a good suggestion but one that needs to be worded tactfully so that it doesn’t read as though people have to “earn” sexual love through their appearance.

Thanks for calling me out… but did you READ my post???

I wasn’t trying to defend the OP… just saying I read his post a little more innocently (maybe to my own fault).

I said nothing about appearance or weight… and don’t want to be misunderstood for even suggesting that… okay?

 

[Guitar]

Thanks for calling me out… but did you READ my post???

I wasn’t trying to defend the OP… just saying I read his post a little more innocently (maybe to my own fault).

I said nothing about appearance or weight… and don’t want to be misunderstood for even suggesting that… okay?

Hey Em, I was in no way calling you out. Sorry if it read that way. I was actually agreeing with you in that the OP’s suggestion has merit in some cases. I was just adding that it’s an issue that will probably get heated even if super-sensitive wording is used, and IMO it wasn’t, so perhaps the OP should not be surprised by the reaction of some posters.

 

[Reformed_Rob]

You do not understand the geography. There is no gym between where I work and where I live, I have to drive 20 minutes on PAST my home to get to ANY gym or workout facility, or go 20 minutes in the other direction. That extra drive time ain’t goin away.

Maybe I can buy a helicopter to get to work

My point being, it is all well and good to say “it only takes 45 minutes 3Xs per week” - but, for some of us who do not live in a big suburban area where everything is accessable.

Instead of going to the gym, get a bike to ride for a while or maybe even better, just make a point to walk for 30 min a day. Probably wouldn’t require any extra driving, and you can cut your walk short if you absolutely have to.

 

[joamy]

It’s like many aspects in life, balance & moderation.

I don’t think anyone would argue that a healthy lifestyle (eating right, exercise, plenty of rest etc) is a positive thing. But yeah, there is a line that can be crossed where one could become vain.

Like anything in life, you have to ask yourself if this draws you closer to the Lord, or leads you away from Him.

Faith, family and living your faith should be at the top of ones list period. So I strongly feel that if your calling right now only allows for that, so be it. But, if your choosing the couch & tv over some form of exercise, you may be doing yourself a great disservice.

In my opinion an exercise routine that is done with the intention of good health brings one closer to the Lord. If it’s all about looking a certain way, then maybe one should take an honest look at why they are exercising in the first place.

Not so long ago this was not even an issue cuz we lead more physical lives. Jesus & the apostles did’nt have to join a gym cuz they walked everywhere. Could you imagine walking evrerywhere? Locally and town to town, for all your needs, ministry and just plain visiting?

Today it’s an issue, cuz we are no where near as active as we used to be. I really don’t think men, or women where meant to sit in a box, by a computer all day. The only way we can compensate for this is to find some sort of activity that we hopefully enjoy and do it regularly.

Only thing I would add is that you do the best you can with the time you have.

I started walking today (my tennis shoes have been here at work all week). :bounce: I did about 25 minutes today and did a mile (I am seriously out of shape), but am hoping to work up to an hour a day and more miles. My legs felt like jelly for awhile, but I’m glad I did it.

 

[sammi]

I just need to say something on here instead of addressing particular people on particular threads.

You need to go to the gym or figure out some other kind of exercise.
Look, once we’re beyond our teen years, we’ll naturally go to seed and become unattractive, overweight and frumpy if we don’t do something about it.

NO WAY?!

It’s going to cause problems in our relationship with our spouses,

maybe
and maybe NOT

we’ll feel bad about ourselves and our better halves deserve better than that when they see us naked.

this is a shallow way of looking at a long term commitment IMHO
Exercise causes your metabolism will speed up, you’ll actually feel better on a day to day basis (brain chems caused by exercise)

i agree

and you’ll like yourself more.

i already do TYVM

Is it okay to simply stop praying? No! Why? Because we see it as a necessity. Working out and keeping our bodies in order is a necessity just like eating and praying.

i agree it is a way to keep ourselves healthy
“I believe… in the resurrection of the body”

I would guess that many marital problems would disappear if both made working out and keeping in shape a part of their lives.

THIS is the shallowest thing i have almost ever read and to read it here is very disturbing if i cared
Stop being lazy. No pain no gain.

so only the hardbodies go to heaven?

i think you are very confused, i agree excersize is good for all but as a means to an end (hot body etc) it is a bit silly

us folks with serious marriages dont need to read this

especially here

eh just felt like a vent
gnite

 

[leonie]

For SAHMs, I wanted to recommend using a** pedometer**. It’s kind of fun to try to sneak in steps. I find mtself marching in place waiting for water to boil, or what not. I happily park in the back of lots–more steps! I try for 12,000 steps a day.

On weight lifting days, I keep a set of hand weights on the kitchen counter. It takes me all day to do all my sets, but it’s the only way I can steal the time. I read that you get the most benefit from the first set of each exercise, so I just do the one. I usually use a book that has pictures of each exercise, so I can remember what I’ve done and still need to do.

Mydh doesn’t seem to mind the extra wt I’ve put on with time and pregnancies, but I feel so much more energetic and on an even keel emotionally.

In the summer, when we aren’t hsing, I walk around the garden praying my rosary or listening to books on cd for an hour or more most days.

Last month I took advantage of a gift membership from a gym. The exercise classes showed me how much better I could be. I could barely walk after some of them. But, I need to be realistic about what I can do in exercise without comprising my duties as a mom and wife (not to mention the hsing).

I do know that if I am not exercising in some form, I get depressed esp. in the winter months.

ahealthyme.com/topic/exdepression

 

[whatevergirl]

For SAHMs, I wanted to recommend using a** pedometer**. It’s kind of fun to try to sneak in steps. I find mtself marching in place waiting for water to boil, or what not. I happily park in the back of lots–more steps! I try for 12,000 steps a day.

On weight lifting days, I keep a set of hand weights on the kitchen counter. It takes me all day to do all my sets, but it’s the only way I can steal the time. I read that you get the most benefit from the first set of each exercise, so I just do the one. I usually use a book that has pictures of each exercise, so I can remember what I’ve done and still need to do.

Mydh doesn’t seem to mind the extra wt I’ve put on with time and pregnancies, but I feel so much more energetic and on an even keel emotionally.

In the summer, when we aren’t hsing, I walk around the garden praying my rosary or listening to books on cd for an hour or more most days.

Last month I took advantage of a gift membership from a gym. The exercise classes showed me how much better I could be. I could barely walk after some of them. But, I need to be realistic about what I can do in exercise without comprising my duties as a mom and wife (not to mention the hsing).

I do know that if I am not exercising in some form, I get depressed esp. in the winter months.

ahealthyme.com/topic/exdepression

That is such great advice! And the pedometer can be great also for folks who spend 8+ hours per day in an office. When I ‘remember’ to bring my pedometer to work, it is incentive for me to walk more throughout the office…walk to someone’s office, instead of email…park a little further away in the garage…walk at lunchtime…I don’t think we were meant to be in offices and cubicles all day long-in front of computer screens. :nope:

So anything to get you moving more throughout your day, in addition to some planned workouts, I’m all for!

PS: 10,000 steps is what we should shoot for daily, I think? Or am I way off? Or is it at least 5,000 steps…maybe it’s 5,000 steps.