The limits of humility

[kaisersenheiser]

It seems odd to me that in order to receive a radical sanation your wife must believe what the Church teaches about marriage. . . . A radical sanation is a decree issued by the diocesan bishop stating that he accepts the original consent of the marriage as valid. . . .

This is the issue right here. Based on what I’ve told him, he doesn’t see what we did as qualifying as matrimonial consent. I think mainly because my wife wouldn’t say that marriage is by definition indissoluble. She would say ideally marriage should last a lifetime. Ditto openness to life. I think. She’s sounds unsure about a lot

 

[Della]

This is the issue right here. Based on what I’ve told him, he doesn’t see what we did as qualifying as matrimonial consent. I think mainly because my wife wouldn’t say that marriage is by definition indissoluble. She would say ideally marriage should last a lifetime.

She’s right about that. Marriage is indissoluble. An annulment declares that a marriage was never valid to being with. It doesn’t dissolve marriages.

Ditto openness to life. I think. She’s sounds unsure about a lot

If she is open to life, she’s okay there, as well. I’m truly puzzled, as I wrote in my last post.

In any case, you need to contact your bishop’s office about all this. Your priest means well, I’m sure, but as I understand it, he doesn’t have the final say, that’s up to the bishop. I’d strongly advise you to contact him ASAP.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Maybe the issues with trying to validate your civil marriage are an indication that, given what God has made marriage to be and it’s purpose, that this would be imprudent and not beneficial to you spiritually.

You can’t live in the state of grave sin for the sake of appeasing your civil wife. If you don’t have children, you are morally obligated to live separately until either your civil marriage is convalidated, or other options available.

 

[kaisersenheiser]

She’s right about that. Marriage is indissoluble. An annulment declares that a marriage was never valid to being with. It doesn’t dissolve marriages.

If she is open to life, she’s okay there, as well. I’m truly puzzled, as I wrote in my last post.

In any case, you need to contact your bishop’s office about all this. Your priest means well, I’m sure, but as I understand it, he doesn’t have the final say, that’s up to the bishop. I’d strongly advise you to contact him ASAP.

I think maybe you misread my post. My wife WILL NOT say that marriage is by definition indissoluble. She sees divorce as a viable option. Hence the problem.

 

[kaisersenheiser]

Maybe the issues with trying to validate your civil marriage are an indication that, given what God has made marriage to be and it’s purpose, that this would be imprudent and not beneficial to you spiritually.

You can’t live in the state of grave sin for the sake of appeasing your civil wife. If you don’t have children, you are morally obligated to live separately until either your civil marriage is convalidated, or other options available.

We have a child. That is what makes this so very difficult. I hate the idea of being a divorced dad and seeing my daughter only on weekends at best.

 

[Della]

I think maybe you misread my post. My wife WILL NOT say that marriage is by definition indissoluble. She sees divorce as a viable option. Hence the problem.

I see, my bad. Even so, if she married you in good faith, no matter her private misgivings/beliefs, it’s still a matter for the bishop to decide. Don’t be afraid to contact the archdiocese. Your marriage is more important than taking your priest’s word for it–not that he means ill or must be wrong. It’s your right and privilege as a Catholic to pursue all the channels available to you.

 

[kaisersenheiser]

+JMJ+

Wow. Talk about a rock and a hard place :console: I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. I am adding you to my prayer intentions

I think St. Josemaria Escriva most controversially, yet most clearly, expressed this in The Way no. 208: “Blessed be pain. Loved be pain. Sanctified be pain. Glorified be pain.”

How can this be so? There is of course the glorious Catholic doctrine of redemptive suffering, where we can offer up our sufferings to be united with Christ’s to help in saving others. Then there is Henri Nouwen’s meditation on participating in mankind’s suffering.
Here is an article that illustrates my point: catholiceducation.org/en/marriage-and-family/parenting/the-eucharist-and-peace.html

I hope, kaisersenheiser, that what I wrote can help you.

Thank You.