BarbaraTherese:
He said to me “Are you still interested in that sort of trash?”…that is the attitude often of psychiatry to religion and religous people.
Sometimes I think they do this sort of stuff on purpose, to bait us into reacting so they can observe our reaction. I am lucky to have a doctor who, while he did get me to quit all my parish leadership posts (e.g. vp of the council, member of stewardship committee, and head of home and school association) and thinks I go on religious tangents, he is open and willing to hear my religious views. Turns out he is a Methodist, but doesn’t talk much about his faith, and he agrees that I have some good observations about faith and human behavior. He actually treats me with respect and has listened to a CD I made of my playing the pathetique sonata by Beethoven and was so impressed he started lending me CD’s of some of the music he likes, including a recording of the sonata. He knows my religion is important to me, but he wants its effects to stay within bounds of course so that I don’t get all weird and start exorcising people or something.
Should psychiatry stumble over someone in a genuine dark night of the soul…that person will probably find within 5 days they are off their face on medication and can hardly walk and within 10 days they will probably find themselves in an interior state of absolute and complete confusion and in a dark hell of the soul!
Oh my. I have very little doubt that’s what was going on the whole time, in 2001. In my 1981 lockup I had no idea about the faith as I was on “haitus” from the Church. In 2001, it was so miraculous it was maddening and scary, but somehow I had some inner peace that “somebody” around here was delusional.

When they surrounded me, captured me, locked me onto the cart and wheeled me into the ambulance, the entire time I believed this was a foreshadow of Christ’s trip to the cross. I found myself saying things that Christ said during His passion, only later to verify (for my crazy mind of course) that they were, in fact, biblical.
There was a healing of a woman whose tongue was tied, ten minutes after I got to the ward. I watched it, and even saw that I had participated in it and in fact helped precipitate it. How? By simply listening to the woman who was carrying on madly. I heard her yelling, blahblahblahblahtoday’sthedayblahblahblah, and said to her “what did you say?” The staff said, “don’t pay any attention to her. She makes that noise all the time.” She looked at me with fiercely fearful eyes and kept blabbing, then all of a sudden she said, “blahblahblahYouSpirituallyDesertedYourFamilyToBeHereblahblah” which blew me away. That was exactly what I had done not 20 minutes earlier, as I had promised my family I’d be home for supper but had to break it to “follow my path” which was inevitable due to the world’s ability of physically overpowering me. I was astounded.
Soon after Romey (Romanaetha was her name as I later learned) kept looking at me with those huge beady eyes, still yelling as the staff was taking her blood pressure, and suddenly she changed and spoke so that everyone could understand, yelling “it was you. You killed him.” I said to her gently, “I didn’t kill anybody. Who is it you are looking for?” Suddenly a whole lot of people got really interested in our conversation.
Well, if anyone’s been in a psycho ward when “all hell breaks loose” this was it. Suddenly we were all confined to our rooms and there were patients hollering scripture verses up and down the hallway and shouting about “God’s willl be done” and stuff, as security flooded the area. After about a half hour, things calmed down and now Romey was speaking calmly to staff about her medications and treatment. There were lots of interesting expressions on the faces of staff, who quickly got over it because after all, they are professionals.
To some, this might have been a miracle. To me, it all made perfect sense. The woman made strange noises because she could neither express herself so others would understand, nor quench what she had to say. When somebody actually listened to her like she was a human being and not a lab rat, her senses picked up on it and she gained confidence to speak.
Back to hearing myself say the things of Christ (I think He might have said his most profound things under ostensibly great stress) they finally got me drugged to sleep and then woke me up with a start. I was so shocked coming that quickly out of sleep that I sprang up in bed and yelled, “my peace I leave you, my peace I give you,” before I even realized I was conscious.
Strange things happen to minds when they are put under impossible circumstances.
Alan