The Morality of a Teenage Crush

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Is it moral for me, as a teenage boy, to have a crush on a girl? This crush involves an intense desire to become emotionally closer to said girl. And while it is admitted that in any such interest has its base in sexual desire, sexual thoughts are immediately pushed from my mind, and I don’t want to ‘go anywhere’ physical with said girl (perhaps excluding ‘innocent’ things like hand-holding, hugging).

Is this a slippery slope that I should avoid altogether, or is it okay to like a girl in this way?
 
Insomniac said:
Is it moral for me, as a teenage boy, to have a crush on a girl? This crush involves an intense desire to become emotionally closer to said girl. And while it is admitted that in any such interest has its base in sexual desire, sexual thoughts are immediately pushed from my mind, and I don’t want to ‘go anywhere’ physical with said girl (perhaps excluding ‘innocent’ things like hand-holding, hugging).

Is this a slippery slope that I should avoid altogether, or is it okay to like a girl in this way?
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Its fine.
 
Insommniac… What you are describing is normal and even healthy. Look at it this way; This is the time for you to discern what qualities and attributes are important to you in a spouse. It is also an exercise in self control and faith. It is totally possible to be attracted to, date, court, or whatever without compromising your moral standards, it is up to you to choose to remain faithful to your moral beliefs in the face of temptation. This is called growing up. I have 3 teenagers at the moment, so I am an old lady, but trust me… avoiding all temptation is not always the way to go. At some point you have to practice your faith…see where the strengths and weaknesses lie and face them. It doesn’t get easier when you get older either…the feelings that is, the ability to handle them does. If you do not feel you can trust yourself to remain moral and have a relationship…by all means, wait until you feel you can. But if you are of strong moral character and remember that prayer is a very powerful aid to chastity…then you are old enough to date.

As a side note, chastity is acheivable. I dated my husband for 6 yrs before we married and we were able to have a chaste relationship all the way up to the wedding night… It is like I tell my kids; it can only be your first time once, don’t waste it on a premarital encounter. Your wedding night is a very special time of giving of yourself and receiving the gift of another… The best wedding gift you can give your spouse is your virtue. It is like saying, “I saved myself for you and only you because you are worth it.”
 
You’re good dude. Can’t tell you how many crushes I’ve had and still have, and half of them I don’t even have to guts to talk to anyways. As long as you’re not acting on any sexual desires, it’s fine and totally normal I would say.
 
Insomniac said:
Is it moral for me, as a teenage boy, to have a crush on a girl? This crush involves an intense desire to become emotionally closer to said girl. And while it is admitted that in any such interest has its base in sexual desire, sexual thoughts are immediately pushed from my mind, and I don’t want to ‘go anywhere’ physical with said girl (perhaps excluding ‘innocent’ things like hand-holding, hugging).

Is this a slippery slope that I should avoid altogether, or is it okay to like a girl in this way?
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Perfectly fine.

Unless you felt that way about a boy. Then, it would be intrinsicly evil - and sinful if you kept on thinking about hand-holding and such.

But it’s not, so you’re good.
 
Exalt said:
Perfectly fine.

Unless you felt that way about a boy. Then, it would be intrinsicly evil - and sinful if you kept on thinking about hand-holding and such.

But it’s not, so you’re good.
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Why would you even bring that up, he made it pretty clear he had a crush on a girl. And while intentionaly indulging thoughts might be evil, an attraction to the same sex is instrisically disordered. There is a big difference.
 
Insomniac said:
Is it moral for me, as a teenage boy, to have a crush on a girl? This crush involves an intense desire to become emotionally closer to said girl. And while it is admitted that in any such interest has its base in sexual desire, sexual thoughts are immediately pushed from my mind, and I don’t want to ‘go anywhere’ physical with said girl (perhaps excluding ‘innocent’ things like hand-holding, hugging).

Is this a slippery slope that I should avoid altogether, or is it okay to like a girl in this way?
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Dude! I see from your profile that you’re 18, you gotta read this book:

“Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World” by Father Tom Morrow.

avemariasingles.com/Single_Catholic_Resources.cfm?ID=1&resource=Book

The online review says:

"Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World is the only guide for single Roman Catholics that covers it all, from where to find a “spouse-worthy” mate to planning the wedding.

Practical, entertaining, and theologically sound, Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World examines the many meanings of love:

Defines what a moral approach to courtship is
Explains how chastity fosters happiness
Offers ways to overcome communication gaps
Presents the vision of a Catholic marriage
For anyone who has felt out of step with the times when it comes to modern, commonly accepted dating practices, this is a reassuring book that says there is a better way. A way that leads to true, lifelong happiness … and holiness."
<>
McKevin
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Its completely natural to have crushes, God knows we’ve all had um!! I think it show a great sincerity of your character that you desire to watch not only your actions but your own thoughts so closely. May God be with you!

Peace be with you all,

Regis University Student
 
I just want to say that you sound like a very nice young man. On behalf of the ladies, thanks for taking your mental chastity seriously and letting the Lord work within you. 👍
 
Such emotions are morally neutral, or, if you like, they are good in-as-far-as they are an intended part of God’s creation. I wouldn’t think thoughts about emotional closeness or even non-sexual physical intimacy would be at all wrong unless they were an occasion for sin (lust) or would in some way degrade or make uncomfortable the girl in question. If these thoughts do not lead you into lust and the girl in question would not mind them, know that what you are thinking is not wrong and proceed as you think Jesus would have you proceed.

God bless.
 
Insomniac,

I hope there is a guy lilke you araound in twelve or thirteen years
when my little girl is old enough to date.

LT
 
ltravis said:
Insomniac,

I hope there is a guy lilke you araound in twelve or thirteen years
when my little girl is old enough to date.

LT
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Hey Insomniac… I don’t know how old you are, but I have a very nice teenage daughter that is not only smart, sensitive, very Catholic, but she is drop dead gorgeous… Of course on the bad side…she has 2 older brothers that so far have totally sabotaged any relationship she might enter…
 
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