B
Book_Worm
Guest
We’ve been members of our parish for about fifteen years. For the last five years the pastor has been an older, very dour priest. Mass attendance and parish census have dropped drastically. Last spring we were appointed a very new, energetic and very positive pastor. It’s been wonderful to see how much energy and life he’s brought into the parish. New programs have been started and old ones re-energized. Once again, the parking lot is full at Mass time.
He’s also made some changes to the church itself. Nothing earth-shaking, and he’s always done a good job of keeping parishioners in the loop and explaining why he’s making the changes. The last one was re-painting the quiet room in the back of the church and instead of the twelve chairs that have always been in there, only eight remain. At Mass last week Father explained that he doesn’t want it to be a habit for families, even those with young children, to spend the entire Mass in this room. If a child is crying, one parent should take the child into the room but only until the child is quiet.
We attend Mass with our DD and her family. When DGS1 was small, we never used the crying room. He was (and is) a quite and shy child. He was almost always asleep during Mass as an infant and would quietly look at a book or “write” on a small pad as a toddler. Then came DGS2, The Hurricane. He’s loud, outgoing, and completely uninhibited. Shushing him is effective for no more than a minute. When he “reads” a book, he exclaims loudly over its contents. He’s very fond of his navel and flashes it at every opportunity. He’s even more proud of his newly-acquired bathroom proficiency and discusses it in great detail every chance he gets. Last week I looked up from my post-Communion prayer to find him with his pants around his ankles so he could show off his Mickey Mounse underpants.
Obviously, attending Mass with him is challenging and we’ve been sitting in the quiet room for the entire Mass chiefly because DD is conscious of how disruptive other Mass attendees find his behavior. There are many who frowned and glared even when DGS1, who was pretty well-behaved at Mass, would occasionally ask a quiet question about the Mass.
Both DD and DH are very upset by Father’s comments. They both feel that, since we attend Mass every week at the same time and sit in the quiet room, every week, they were directed especially at us. DD is planning to attend Mass at a parish closer to her house. She feels that it is important to attend Mass as a family, and doesn’t want her DH to sit in the QR with one child while she is in the church proper with her older son, especially since her DH is a lapsed Catholic and would not continue to try to instill a sense of the Mass as she does. My DH does not like the church she will be attending. We’ve attend Mass there several times, and most of the priests have very, very heavy accents and he is completely unable to understand the sermons. (DH’s hearing is not the best.).
I feel like I’m completely in the middle on this one. I love attending Mass together as a family, and since our DGS’s father and paternal GF are non-practicing Catholics, I feel it’s very important that they have a male role model who is a good Catholic.
Is there anything I can do? Both DD and DH are convinced that they want to leave this parish. DD feels that she is making a good effort to attend Mass every week with her family, even though it is not always easy to do so and that she is being rebuked for doing it in a way that allows her to focus on the Mass and not solely on DGS2’s behavior. Is there any point in speaking about this with Father? If so, what can I say? He made it quite clear that we should all welcome the children and any disruption they might create, but he’s not the one sitting in the pew receiving glares from other parishioners.
He’s also made some changes to the church itself. Nothing earth-shaking, and he’s always done a good job of keeping parishioners in the loop and explaining why he’s making the changes. The last one was re-painting the quiet room in the back of the church and instead of the twelve chairs that have always been in there, only eight remain. At Mass last week Father explained that he doesn’t want it to be a habit for families, even those with young children, to spend the entire Mass in this room. If a child is crying, one parent should take the child into the room but only until the child is quiet.
We attend Mass with our DD and her family. When DGS1 was small, we never used the crying room. He was (and is) a quite and shy child. He was almost always asleep during Mass as an infant and would quietly look at a book or “write” on a small pad as a toddler. Then came DGS2, The Hurricane. He’s loud, outgoing, and completely uninhibited. Shushing him is effective for no more than a minute. When he “reads” a book, he exclaims loudly over its contents. He’s very fond of his navel and flashes it at every opportunity. He’s even more proud of his newly-acquired bathroom proficiency and discusses it in great detail every chance he gets. Last week I looked up from my post-Communion prayer to find him with his pants around his ankles so he could show off his Mickey Mounse underpants.
Obviously, attending Mass with him is challenging and we’ve been sitting in the quiet room for the entire Mass chiefly because DD is conscious of how disruptive other Mass attendees find his behavior. There are many who frowned and glared even when DGS1, who was pretty well-behaved at Mass, would occasionally ask a quiet question about the Mass.
Both DD and DH are very upset by Father’s comments. They both feel that, since we attend Mass every week at the same time and sit in the quiet room, every week, they were directed especially at us. DD is planning to attend Mass at a parish closer to her house. She feels that it is important to attend Mass as a family, and doesn’t want her DH to sit in the QR with one child while she is in the church proper with her older son, especially since her DH is a lapsed Catholic and would not continue to try to instill a sense of the Mass as she does. My DH does not like the church she will be attending. We’ve attend Mass there several times, and most of the priests have very, very heavy accents and he is completely unable to understand the sermons. (DH’s hearing is not the best.).
I feel like I’m completely in the middle on this one. I love attending Mass together as a family, and since our DGS’s father and paternal GF are non-practicing Catholics, I feel it’s very important that they have a male role model who is a good Catholic.
Is there anything I can do? Both DD and DH are convinced that they want to leave this parish. DD feels that she is making a good effort to attend Mass every week with her family, even though it is not always easy to do so and that she is being rebuked for doing it in a way that allows her to focus on the Mass and not solely on DGS2’s behavior. Is there any point in speaking about this with Father? If so, what can I say? He made it quite clear that we should all welcome the children and any disruption they might create, but he’s not the one sitting in the pew receiving glares from other parishioners.
