Perhaps your daughter would appreciate you supporting her decision by going to the parish closer to her house. Is there a reason you couldn’t attend Saturday Mass at your parish and Sunday at hers?
I’m sure that your remember the stress of being a young mother and you probably appreciated it when your mother supported your parenting decisions. Perhaps it is time for you to return the support. Being Judged by old curmudgeons is something that a young mother does not need in her life. It would be nice if the Grandmother put family in front of her personal convenience.
I’m sorry but I find your comment very hurtful, and I have no idea why you would say such a thing. I know that my DD would be the first to say that I constantly and consistently sacrifice my needs for their wants. When I encourage her to take things a little easier and to put herself first occasionally, she always responds, “Yeah? Where do you think I learned self-sacrifice?”
I never question her parenting decisions. I told DD that I thought Father was merely trying to encourage young families not to feel embarrassed if their children were occasionally loud or disruptive, but when she told me that was not the impression she got from his comments, I did not contradict her or argue. When she told me where they would be attending Mass tomorrow, my only comment was a question about the timing of the Valentine celebration we have planned.
It is my DH who does not want to attend Mass at her parish, so I have no idea how
MY attending Mass at her parish and ours would accomplish anything. I already attend Mass seven days a week, so adding an additional one would not be an issue, but there is no way that my DH would agree to do this. Her parish is huge and he never felt welcome there; the fact that he finds it next to impossible to understand the priests there just makes the entire experience very unpleasant for him. (He’s not the only person who cannot understand them; it’s painful when one tries to tell a little joke during a sermon and doesn’t even get the normal polite titters.)
No, I don’t remember how supportive my DM was since she died before my DD was born, so unfortunately I never got to experience that support. The fact that she and DD never met is one of the biggest regrets of my life. However, we had a very warm and close relationship, and I have always done my best to have that relationship with my DD. I always was convinced that I knew what was best for my child and resented anyone who tried to suggest otherwise, so even if I didn’t agree with her decisions, and that almost never happens, I know better than to question them. She’s said on many, many occasions that I am her biggest supporter and cheerleader. I’ve had friends tell me that, if they believed in reincarnation, they’d want to come back as my DD.
I came here to ask for ways to support DD in her efforts to share the faith with her DSs and support my DH in his desire to attend a Mass that fills his spiritual needs. I was very sad that I would no longer have the joy of sharing the Mass with my DD and DGSs.
Instead you call me an “old curmudgeon,” accuse me of selfishly putting my convenience (whatever that means) ahead of the welfare of my family and not supporting DD’s parenting decisions. I know that it’s generally a bad idea to solicit advice from people on the internet, but I foolishly thought that a Catholic forum would be different. The tears I’m shedding over your post have taught me I was wrong.
It’s a mistake I will not repeat.
