The Novus Ordo Mass is to Easy

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If we’re looking for a Lingua Franca to replace Latin, then either English or Mandarin would have to be used as they are the most used languages on the planet. 😉

Arabic is a close 3rd.
 
I think you’re a troublemaker. 😉
Unfortunately, some think it is that way. Why do I say that, I personally know some who think that way about the OF Mass.

Fortunately, from reading Ivan’s other posts, I do not believe he is one of them.
 
Several times on this Forum, when certain Catholics tell us that our goal shouldn’t be to “enjoy” the music at Mass but rather, to “participate in the sacrifice of Our Lord on the Cross,” I have told them that they should go to LifeTeen Masses and not enjoy the music because this will help them to develop the denial of self that they want contemporary music lovers to develop.

Then I have to go to Confession and confess being a smart-aleck online.
I don’t approve of this conversation. I shouldn’t laugh but… 😛 🙂

I can’t help it, that is funny. I’ll go to confession also.

A question for those who do think that is is somehow wrong to enjoy music a Mass:
Is it a sin to enjoy listening to Schubert’s “Ave Maria” or Mozart’s
“Ave Verum Corpus”? Music that thrills me.

My problem with those on either side of this issue comes when likes and dislikes overshadow the needs of each particular congregation.

As a musician it is my prayer and goal to provide the music that will help bring the Presence of Christ to each and every soul in the Church. I pray that this can be done is such a way that doesn’t bring anger and discord to the altar.
 
The Mass isin’t about you or me, we shoulden’t be putting in comftoriable padding on the kneelers and seats, and we certianly shoulden’t have music because people like it, traditional music all the way. In fact I have five additional proposalsnot only for the Mass, but the Church at large.

1-Change the official language of the Church to an African language, like Swahilli, Latin was fine while Europe was the center of the Church but now Africa and the developining world is becoming the heart of the Church, we should have one universal language, and it dosen’t matter if we can understand it, so why not an African language?

2-Not only should woman wear head covers and not wear swim suits, which can draw men to sin, they should wear Burka’s, the Burka will promote modesty and help save men from sin, and keep those said men from drawing woman into their sin.

3-Not only shoulden’t the church be a place of physical comfort, which draws attention away from salvation, it should be a place of discomfort. A blasting, frigid AC during winter and scorching heater in the summer(nothing dangerous, just uncomftoriable) will remind people better they are not here for us but for God

4-The Church should push for greater restriction on speech. Freedom of speech and religion allows non-Catholics to prostalitize and sway sould from the Church. Billy Grahm has led numerous souls from the Church, he should be in jail. Anyone who preacher anything outside strictly orthodox Catholicism, andone who Blasphemes should be arrested, and “Churched up” before being released.

5-It should be illegal or the media to publish any criticisms of the Church, or promote any religion besides Catholicism, anything short of this may lead souls from the Church and to hell.

What do you think?
Would you call this a Sharia Church
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B
 
While you’re at getting rid of European languages, get rid of the European (Roman) Liturgy and make everyone conform to the Chaldean or Syriac–or better still, Ethiopian Qorbano.
No, no, no!!!

What are you, some sort of heretic? Greek is definitely the way to go. Sheesh!

Learn the real truth here: Society of St. Pius I.

As their motto says, “To be any more Trad, you’d have to be Jewish” 😉
 
No, no, no!!!

What are you, some sort of heretic? Greek is definitely the way to go. Sheesh!

Learn the real truth here: Society of St. Pius I.

As their motto says, “To be any more Trad, you’d have to be Jewish” 😉
I myself follow the True Catholic Mass…as was done by the Society of Saint Simon Peter I (SSSPI) at the very first Mass!! One Priest, 12 parishioners. Consecration and communion only!! (after which one parishioner goes out and hangs himself). Everything else is innovation!!! Readings of the Gospel and Epistles??? Innovation!!! There was no Bible!!! That was decided later by the progressive hippy-dippys at Carthage!!! And the “Creed”? Made up by those happy-clappy modernists at that clown council at Nicaea!! Tell me…where is the Creed in the Bible??? IT ISN’T!!! Plus, like I said, THERE WAS NO BIBLE!! PLUS NO CREED!!! So it’s that double…thingy…you know, that double thing with the sin…mortally…YOU KNOW!!!

The Church has been too influenced by the “anti-apostle” Paul!!! The Lord picked 12 – count 'em, twelve – apostles!!! And named them!!! Where’s Paul?? There’s Simon, and James, and John, and Thomas, and Andrew, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Jude, and Matthew, and, um, James, but not the same James, and, um, er, another Simon, and Judas. And another Judas. But he was probably Jude. Or maybe Thaddeus. And Maybe Simeon, who was Simon. Not the Peter Simon, but the other Simon. Oh, and Nathanael. Um…thirteen? um…well, BUT THERE WAS NO PAUL!!!

The Twelve all saw the Lord face to face!!! But Paul “heard voices”!!! He is obviously one of the “mentally ill” saints that blessed Joy Behar warned us about!!

Pius I??? Hah! He was a Freemason! And an Orangeman!! And a Democrat!!! Everyone knows Siri won that election fair and square!!! But he was threatened by the *progressives *in the Church who wanted pipe organs and masses in catacombs instead of a valid and licit upper room!!!

And he let all those modernist Gnostics preach in Rome!! He was therefore obviously a heretic himself, (The heresy of relativism!!!) and means he was ipso fatso EXCOMMUNICATED *laity sedentary!!! *Which means we have seedy vacationism!!!

So I, as the last living member of the One and Only True Traditional Continuing Remnant Non-Apostate Holy Catholic Orthodox Apostolic Ecclesiastic Church[sup]TM[/sup] hereby elect…POPE NOAH I!!! (white smoke white smoke)

**Learn the REAL truth here at www.theyrecomingtotakemeaway.haha
 
You are toooooo kind Easter Joy. When I see Popes being called heretics, when a poster says a Pope has “tainted” everything he has touched, I say that is beyond what is Christian, let alone Catholic. I don’t need the anger that fills my heart nor the stress. 🙂 Peace.
I can’t argue with walking away from excessive cardiac involvement. When it gets to be too much, somebody has to let the other guy have the last post and just call it a thread.
 
I personally think that in order to find the answer to this, one would have to actually enter the mind of some “Trads.” and some so called “Modernists”. Quite frankly, I don’t want to go there. Too much confrontation, not enough love and understanding. I get too upset reading the posts. Imagine how terrible it would be to actually “enter” their mind sets. 🙂 Peace
elt, lol, do you realize what you just said ?
 
I myself follow the True Catholic Mass…as was done by the Society of Saint Simon Peter I (SSSPI) at the very first Mass!! One Priest, 12 parishioners. Consecration and communion only!! (after which one parishioner goes out and hangs himself)…
Wow. Not only was that hilarious, it was truly compelling.

Though, I don’t quite understand how you guys maintain a full congregation every week if one person hangs himself after each Mass. But, I guess that shouldn’t really be my concern. Perhaps you keep a surplus supply of Judases locked up in the bingo hall, from which you draw a new parishioner each week?

Anyway, you’ve convinced me. Where do I sign up?
 
Though, I don’t quite understand how you guys maintain a full congregation every week if one person hangs himself after each Mass. But, I guess that shouldn’t really be my concern. Perhaps you keep a surplus supply of Judases locked up in the bingo hall, from which you draw a new parishioner each week?
Never mind. I just read your last paragraph:
So I, as the last living member of the One and Only True Traditional Continuing Remnant Non-Apostate Holy Catholic Orthodox Apostolic Ecclesiastic ChurchTM hereby elect…POPE NOAH I!!! (white smoke white smoke)
I guess you’re “it” next week.

Nice knowin’ ya. 👋
 
Note:

Readers should keep in mind that this thread is intended to be satire. Thank you.
 
Note:

Readers should keep in mind that this thread is intended to be satire. Thank you.
Actually, as I have said several times now, it was to some extent intended to be satirical, I would like to see the traditionalist response to this as I think most of it is perfectly in line with their logic.
 
Ivan,

I highly suspect that you didn’t have the best of intentions in posting this thread, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Because no one else has responded, I guess, I’ll take a stab at repsonding to your “suggestions.”
1-Change the official language of the Church to an African language, like Swahilli, Latin was fine while Europe was the center of the Church but now Africa and the developining world is becoming the heart of the Church, we should have one universal language, and it dosen’t matter if we can understand it, so why not an African language?
You’ve totally missed the point for why some advocate the use of Latin as a lingua franca. The argument for making/keeping Latin the official language of the Church is because it is a dead language and doesn’t change over time like English or Mandarin or the various dialects of Arabic or any other “living” languauge. This is the same reason Muslims are encouraged to read the Koran in the original literary form of Arabic, which doesn’t change, so that there isn’t confusion about what the real and original meaning is. Additionally, the Church seems to think there is some merit to this idea because all documents from the Vatican are initally issued in Latin and then translated into other languages.
2-Not only should woman wear head covers and not wear swim suits, which can draw men to sin, they should wear Burka’s, the Burka will promote modesty and help save men from sin, and keep those said men from drawing woman into their sin.
I’m not sure where you’re going with this one. Are you trying to make a joke out of headcoverings or the Christian modesty espoused by most Traditional Catholics? In either event, there is a basis for both and, whether or not you agree, I would hope that you could at least use a little empathy to understand that people aren’t crazy just because they disagree with you.
3-Not only shoulden’t the church be a place of physical comfort, which draws attention away from salvation, it should be a place of discomfort. A blasting, frigid AC during winter and scorching heater in the summer(nothing dangerous, just uncomftoriable) will remind people better they are not here for us but for God.
Not sure where you’re going with this one either. I have heard Traditional Catholics complain about the aesthetics of certain churches, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard any complain they were too comfortable. A clarification would help.

Also, I don’t know why you would have a problem with people making suggestions to implement things that remind the congregation that the purpose of Mass is God. You might not agree with their methods or ideas, but surely you’re not disagreeing with their overall goal. Am I missing something here?
4-The Church should push for greater restriction on speech. Freedom of speech and religion allows non-Catholics to prostalitize and sway sould from the Church. Billy Grahm has led numerous souls from the Church, he should be in jail. Anyone who preacher anything outside strictly orthodox Catholicism, andone who Blasphemes should be arrested, and “Churched up” before being released.
Once again, I’m not sure where this is coming from. I’ve never heard any Traditional say that freedom of religion or speech should be abridged and, in fact, have actually heard arguments against such measures. Something about free will, I think. You might be referring to attacks by some Traditionals who disagree with things said by those inside the Church, though. I don’t know. Again, a clarification about what you’re trying to get at here would be helpful.
5-It should be illegal or the media to publish any criticisms of the Church, or promote any religion besides Catholicism, anything short of this may lead souls from the Church and to hell.
Same as 4. See above.
What do you think?
I think you probably should have put more thought (and proofreading) into your post. One of the rules of this forum is that you should be charitable to all parties, but you seem to be actually trying to stir up a hornet’s nest with your “satire” instead of trying to get to the bottom of disagreements you have with certain other Catholics. As St. Thomas Aquinas said, our starting point should be that we realize we are all madly in love with the same God. Maybe if you looked at it from this perspective instead of satarizing and belittling the other side, things might clarify a bit.
 
The Mass isin’t about you or me, we shoulden’t be putting in comftoriable padding on the kneelers and seats, and we certianly shoulden’t have music because people like it, traditional music all the way. In fact I have five additional proposalsnot only for the Mass, but the Church at large.
I disagree. As a matter of fact, the rubrics of the Novus Ordo are too strict as it is: too dogmatic, too legalistic, too Pharisaic. The Mass is too focused on “worship”, “submission”, etc. It should be about our Faith Community, the Christ Within each one of us. The time for self-flagellation, veiling women and moaning over beads was thankfully ejected with Vatican II.
1-Change the official language of the Church to an African language, like Swahilli, Latin was fine while Europe was the center of the Church but now Africa and the developining world is becoming the heart of the Church, we should have one universal language, and it dosen’t matter if we can understand it, so why not an African language?
The Church doesn’t need an “official language”. Latin is not even the original language of the Church (Greek), let alone Our Lord and His Apostles (Aramaic, some Hebrew). But the Lord commanded us to go forth and teach all nations; when the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles He gave them the Gift of Tongues, not Roman Missals.

What should happen is that each priest should say the Mass in whatever language he is fluent in, and everyone in the congregation can use his Holy Gifts to follow along. If the priest is a convert from Pentecostalism, so much the better: he can use his glossolalia.
2-Not only should woman wear head covers and not wear swim suits, which can draw men to sin, they should wear Burka’s, the Burka will promote modesty and help save men from sin, and keep those said men from drawing woman into their sin.
Modesty is another word for being ashamed of what God created and saw as Good. People should wear whatever they please, as long as they feel good about it and don’t think it’s wrong. If a woman wants to wear a tint tank top and hot pants – heck, if she wants to go nude – that’s up to her – it’s her body to do with as she wants, and no archaic patriarchal theo-Nazi church is going to keep her down and subjugated. If a man can’t keep his patriarchal women-oppressing eyes to himself, that’s his problem. Any man who lusts after a woman’s body, regardless of how she is dressed (which is only her business, since she dresses (or not) for herself), has already committed sexual assault against her in his heart, and in reality too, and should be prosecuted.

But of course the opposite applies to men. Good looking men should wear whatever they like; they have “healthy sexuality”. Old or ugly men should not be allowed near women, since they are all “lechers”.
3-Not only shoulden’t the church be a place of physical comfort, which draws attention away from salvation, it should be a place of discomfort. A blasting, frigid AC during winter and scorching heater in the summer(nothing dangerous, just uncomftoriable) will remind people better they are not here for us but for God
Au contraire, mon frere. Hard kneelers and wooden benches may have been OK for the medieval yahoos who whipped themselves into bloody pulps or lived on pillars in the desert. Today’s Mass is about becoming One with God, transcending the surly bonds of earth and uniting with the One in His Yahwehness. We don’t need mortification, that’s for losers. We need uplifting, affirming. We need to know the spiritual comfort of the Father. So I suggest La-Z-Boys. With pockets in the side for missalettes, of course.
4-The Church should push for greater restriction on speech. Freedom of speech and religion allows non-Catholics to prostalitize and sway sould from the Church. Billy Grahm has led numerous souls from the Church, he should be in jail. Anyone who preacher anything outside strictly orthodox Catholicism, andone who Blasphemes should be arrested, and “Churched up” before being released.

5-It should be illegal or the media to publish any criticisms of the Church, or promote any religion besides Catholicism, anything short of this may lead souls from the Church and to hell.
Another misstatement of EENS. Since we all long to be with God, it is obvious that everyone is more or less part of the Universal Church. I mean, who really wants to go to Hell? Seems to me we have some uptight bluenoses who like to get their knickers in a knot over the silliest things; I think they actually want people to go to hell. I think criticism of the Church should be encouraged, especially since it’s done a rotten job over the past 2000 years. I mean – the Inquisition? Burning at the Stake? Blood libel? OCP? Obviously, when we say that “God is in the Church” we don’t mean the Church™ as a corporate institution with monsignors and curiae and vicars apostolic, but the real Church, the Church of You and Me and God Makes Three! As for that other Church, it should be open season. The press should NOT be allowed to criticize ANY religion EXCEPT for Catholicism. Criticizing the Church is OK because the Church is archaic and has weird oppressive beliefs like “modesty” and “responsibility” and “penance” and “informed conscience”, and should get with it – it’s the 21st century for God’s sake!!! (However, don’t criticize other religions or cultures – that’s their values and traditions, you have no right to impose your cultural imperialism on their ancient venerable ways, like sati and FGM and raping virgins to cure AIDS.)
What do you think?
You tell me, Reductor Prior.
 
You tell me, Reductor Prior.
I will respond in full tomorrow(to you and the other good reply above yours), I have some tests to study for tonight, but I coulden’t leave before thanking you for a wonderfully funny and thoughtfull response:)

I understand you were serious, as am I, but I still laughed the entire time I was reading it:D
 
Actually, as I have said several times now, it was to some extent intended to be satirical, I would like to see the traditionalist response to this as I think most of it is perfectly in line with their logic.
True satire encourages others to think more deeply about a particular issue. For example, see Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal.

So long as this thread remains satire, it can stay open. Any overt baiting, on the other hand, will mean that the thread will have to be closed.
 
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