The Novus Ordo Mass is to Easy

[Ghoti]

At least you could see the word “eggplant” and know what color that was.

My living room is painted the color called “quietude”. If you can tell me with any certainty what color that is, I guess you’re a better artist than I am…but this is off the subject.

“Quietude” is a particular shade produced by mixing roughly two parts “Tranquility” with one part “Solace”. You may have to tint a bit of “Harmony” to get the best effect.

 

[Volodymyr_988]

10,000 years ago nothing existed. The earth is only about 5,000 or so years old, doncha know.

And Latin was around back then. If not, then why was Genesis written in Latin? My Vulgate says so.

I’m sorry I meant that the oracle seal bone inscriptions are 5768 years old.

 

[EasterJoy]

“Quietude” is a particular shade produced by mixing roughly two parts “Tranquility” with one part “Solace”. You may have to tint a bit of “Harmony” to get the best effect.

I wouldn’t doubt it. I just have no idea what color that gets you… Well, except that I know what color my living room is. A mid-to-light blue green shade that I really like, one shade lighter than Halcyon Green, two shades lighter than Undersea, and, if I am not mistaken, one shade darker than Rain.

Rain. I live in Oregon, you’d think I’d know what color that is.
I would have thought it was more grey than that. Who knew?
Ah, well, it’s been awhile. Maybe I’m mixed up with another paint chip.

 

[elt1956]

10,000 years ago nothing existed. The earth is only about 5,000 or so years old, doncha know.

And Latin was around back then. If not, then why was Genesis written in Latin? My Vulgate says so.

I would imagine Genesis was written in Latin because the Bible was first solidified at the Council of Nicea in 325 and apparently Latin was the choice of language in those days. Are you serious about the world being only 5000 years old? No way! Peace.

 

[Ghoti]

I would imagine Genesis was written in Latin because the Bible was first solidified at the Council of Nicea in 325 and apparently Latin was the choice of language in those days. Are you serious about the world being only 5000 years old? No way! Peace.

[breakfourthwall] I’m joking. Genesis was originally written in Hebrew, IIRC, then translated into Greek (Septuagint), then into Latin (Jerome’s Vulgate). I made the joke about it in the vein of KJVOnly people who like to think it was originally written in 17th-centuy English – sort of a Vulgate-Only.

As for the age of the earth – I can’t remember what the latest scientific consensus on the earth’s/universe’s age; whatever it is, that’s OK with me. I believe God created everything, laid down the universal laws of physics, chem, math, etc, and let the universe unfold according to the plan He set down. Every so often He sticks a finger in and goes “booga booga” (which accounts for “randomness”; “luck”; miracles; why single sock disappear from the dryer but wire hangers in my closet multiply like rabbits; etc). [/breakfourthwall]

 

[elt1956]

[breakfourthwall] I’m joking. Genesis was originally written in Hebrew, IIRC, then translated into Greek (Septuagint), then into Latin (Jerome’s Vulgate). I made the joke about it in the vein of KJVOnly people who like to think it was originally written in 17th-centuy English – sort of a Vulgate-Only.

As for the age of the earth – I can’t remember what the latest scientific consensus on the earth’s/universe’s age; whatever it is, that’s OK with me. I believe God created everything, laid down the universal laws of physics, chem, math, etc, and let the universe unfold according to the plan He set down. Every so often He sticks a finger in and goes “booga booga” (which accounts for “randomness”; “luck”; miracles; why single sock disappear from the dryer but wire hangers in my closet multiply like rabbits; etc). [/breakfourthwall]

Boy O Boy, you had me scared there for a minute. Now I’m terrified. Booga, Booga? Peace

 

[patrick457]

1-Change the official language of the Church to an African language, like Swahilli, Latin was fine while Europe was the center of the Church but now Africa and the developining world is becoming the heart of the Church, we should have one universal language, and it dosen’t matter if we can understand it, so why not an African language?

Since choosing any language to serve as the Church’s official tongue will only be a source of contention and get us into really hot waters, I hereby suggest that the each and every liturgical act, declarations etc. of the Church be conducted in…sign language.

2-Not only should woman wear head covers and not wear swim suits, which can draw men to sin, they should wear Burka’s, the Burka will promote modesty and help save men from sin, and keep those said men from drawing woman into their sin.

Why stop at burqas? We should make EVERYONE, that is, man, woman and child, cleric and laity alike wear this suit during liturgical functions.

This way, no body part is exposed, promoting modesty. Plus, since everyone is dressed alike, this will also help extinguish the sin of jealousy and pride and promote the virtue of humility.

3-Not only shoulden’t the church be a place of physical comfort, which draws attention away from salvation, it should be a place of discomfort. A blasting, frigid AC during winter and scorching heater in the summer(nothing dangerous, just uncomftoriable) will remind people better they are not here for us but for God

Which reminds me…We should construct churches without any roof, walls or floor; in fact, we should celebrate Mass in a far-flung and REALLY incovenient place (take for example, marshes, jungles, bog pits, or volcano craters), spread grains (rice, corn, take your pick) on the ground and have the people kneel in them through the whole Liturgy.

4-The Church should push for greater restriction on speech. Freedom of speech and religion allows non-Catholics to prostalitize and sway sould from the Church. Billy Grahm has led numerous souls from the Church, he should be in jail. Anyone who preacher anything outside strictly orthodox Catholicism, andone who Blasphemes should be arrested, and “Churched up” before being released.

5-It should be illegal or the media to publish any criticisms of the Church, or promote any religion besides Catholicism, anything short of this may lead souls from the Church and to hell.

A research conducted in September 22, 1970 shows that the two most effective ways of dealing with proselytizers and heretics is poking them with cushions (with all the stuffing at one end), making them sit in a chair (with only a cup of coffee at eleven) or tying them into a rack. That is the THREE most effective ways of dealing with these types of people, the details of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.

I’m sure nobody expects that…

 

[patrick457]

10,000 years ago nothing existed. The earth is only about 5,000 or so years old, doncha know.

And Latin was around back then. If not, then why was Genesis written in Latin? My Vulgate says so.

Oh poor misled man…Everyone knows that the TRUE Scripture as handed down by God from Heaven (bound in gold and jewels since leather, being the skin of a dead animal is unclean material, with red and black handwriting) is the Vetus Latina.

This so-called ‘Vulgate’ is actually a false translation; after all, ‘Bou’l-ge’eyt’ is a proto-Northern Hiberno-Arameo-Southern Georgic-Sasanian (!!) word meaning ‘Something that one should not touch even with a ten-foot pole’.

Is it no wonder that when this translation was imposed on the Church, St. Augustine had to ‘correct’ this abomination and many rioted since this ‘Vulgate’ used the word ‘ivy’ (hedera) while the old and true Vetus Latina has ‘gourd’ (Latin: cucurbita)! Talk about altering the Word of God!

In Greek, ‘Hedera’ would be:

H-7
E-5
D-4
E-5
R-100
A-1

which gives us a total of ‘122’, while in Hebrew numerals, this would be:

H-5
E (let’s equate ‘E’ with ‘Aleph’)-1
D-4
E-1
R-200
A-1

This would bring a total of ‘212’.
Let’s add them together: 212+122=334.
Then multiply 334 with 2 (on account of the two numeral systems we used): 334x2=668.
And subtract it with 2, which gives us the total of: 666 (!!)

If you’re still not convinced, here we’ll use the Latin alphabet:

H-8
E-5
D-4
E-5
R-18
A-1

With a total of ‘41’. 668 minus 41 is 627.
In Roman numerals, 2 is represented as ‘II’, which we will turn into ‘11’. 627-11=616 (which is said to be the other Number of the Beast!)

 

[patrick457]

So I, as the last living member of the One and Only True Traditional Continuing Remnant Non-Apostate Holy Catholic Orthodox Apostolic Ecclesiastic Church[sup]TM[/sup] hereby elect…POPE NOAH I!!! (white smoke white smoke)

**Learn the REAL truth here at www.theyrecomingtotakemeaway.haha

Aha! Your use of ‘white smoke’ (which is an INNOVATION) proves that you too belong to a false church!

Personally I belong to the Society of Y’shua Nazraya (not to be confused with that modernist group ‘Society’ of ‘Jesus’)! [/sarcasm]

 

[Auntie_M]

Never mind. I just read your last paragraph:

I guess you’re “it” next week.

Nice knowin’ ya.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Loved it! Nice to be able to smile at a post now and them, and even LAUGH OUT LOUD too!

Oh yeah, May you rest in peace…LOL

 

[Auntie_M]

It is imperative that the Catholic church return to the universal language, Latin, for all things Catholic and most importantly, for the Liturgy.
There was a time in the not too distant past when no matter where you attended a Latin Rite Mass, in this country, in Asia, Africa or Europe, you knew the Mass because we all spoke the same Liturgucal language. You may not have understood the sermon, but the most importanrt of the Mass, the Liturgy, could be understood by all
Today, right here in our own country, what passes for a liturgy in the Norvus Ordu is a bable of many tongues.

It will take The Holy Father years to undo the mess the Amercan and European bishops have made in these creative Masses. These modernist bishops and cardinals should be forced to resign. They have almost destroyed the Roman Catholic Church.

Yes, yes, yes, resign them all…then YOU can become a priest and YOU can be hounded on all sides… and YOU can live a celebrate life…and YOU can be all things to all people …then YOU can UNDO all that the church has done for upteen years

When do you sign up???

 

[bpbasilphx]

** we shoulden’t be putting in comftoriable padding on the kneelers and seats,**

**SEATS? How decadent! Don’t forget, there was a time when Western churches didn’t have pews. Many Eastern churches still don’t. Go back to that custom. **

 

[Ghoti]

I think you’re all a bunch of coddled crybaby wussies.

I say, bring back the persecutions!! Lions and tigers and martyrs, oh my!

Look at Peter. Seats or no seats? Kneelers or no kneelers? Pfft: Twaddle. His worry was which way his cross was pointing.

 

[patrick457]

** we shoulden’t be putting in comftoriable padding on the kneelers and seats,**

**SEATS? How decadent! Don’t forget, there was a time when Western churches didn’t have pews. Many Eastern churches still don’t. Go back to that custom. **

Or better yet, bring back the custom of Churches having no churches and meeting in any place possible.

 

[elt1956]

Or better yet, bring back the custom of Churches having no churches and meeting in any place possible.

Then send the money saved to the missions.

 

[patrick457]

Then send the money saved to the missions.

Which would be conducted in the good ol’ ‘wiping the dust off your sandals’ fashion.