The Origin of Babies: How far do you hide it?

[Lost_Wanderer]

For how long and how far do you go to prevent your children from knowing where babies really come from?

Sorry if this comes off as blunt or rude but I really am curious. I mean I’m not a parent but I’ve long seen why us grown folks become so awkward when kids ask that question.

Do you give them the old Stork Delivery cover-up or has it been replaced by a new urban myth? How long do you keep telling them that?

Sorry I’m just really curious. I may not be a parent but I’m thinking of becoming a teacher and a kid might shoot me with this question.

 

[jmcrae]

It’s up to the parents to give them the details. As non-parental caregivers, whether you’re a teacher, a Youth Group leader, or babysitter, it is never your job to teach kids about sex.

If, as a teacher, a child approaches you with questions about sex, first ask him why he’s asking - if the child is being molested or assaulted, give him the appropriate guidance to deal with the specific problem (including calling the police, if it’s that bad) - and if it turns out that the kid is just curious, refer him to his parents by saying, “You know, sweetheart, that’s a question for your Dad to answer (if it’s a boy), or for your Mom to answer (if it’s a girl).”

The reason is that parents have this way of getting extremely emotional and difficult to communicate with, and pulling their kids out of your program, and screaming and yelling and accusing you of being some kind of homosexual child molester, if you start talking to their kids about sex - so, save yourself a whole pile of trouble, and just don’t do it.

 

[Yellow_Belle]

I worked on the principle that if my child can formulate such a question, I can formulate a truthful, age-appropriate answer. No need to lie or mislead.

 

[jmcrae]

I worked on the principle that if my child can formulate such a question, I can formulate a truthful, age-appropriate answer. No need to lie or mislead.

That’s a good rule of thumb for parents.

If you are not that child’s parent, it’s a bad idea to talk openly about sex with the child, because the child will brag about everything you told him, to the parents, and then you will (if you’re really lucky) most likely be fired.

 

[cmscms]

I know the embarassment of kids asking where babies come from. I never had kids but when my neighbour was 9 her mom was pregnant. She kept coming to my place saying ‘My mom drank and egg that is why she is doing to have a baby.’ I knew darn well the kid heard the truth at school and desperately wanted an adult to respect her enough to tell her the truth. But I constantly said nothing. She asked me ‘Why don’t you have kids’. I told her it is because I wasn’t married to which she would reply ‘You don’t need to be married you simply need to ask your doctor to give you an egg’. It broke my heart to see this child

However, I agree, when it is not your child refer them to their parents. The last thing you need is a parent blowing their lid at you for telling their kid something they did not want you to

CM

 

[kristacecilia]

I worked on the principle that if my child can formulate such a question, I can formulate a truthful, age-appropriate answer. No need to lie or mislead.

This is my aim as a parent, too.

 

[PatriceA]

I worked on the principle that if my child can formulate such a question, I can formulate a truthful, age-appropriate answer. No need to lie or mislead.

This was the way we approached it as well. I always wanted DD to feel she could ask me anything and I would do my best to answer her in an appropriate manner, it was important to me to establish trust in our relationship from the get go.

 

[purplesunshine]

Children should be told by their parents.

It is COMPLETELY and utterly inappropriate for ANYONE who is not their parent to tell them anything about sex or reproduction unless specifically directed by parents.

Parents can tell as much or as little as they want. If a parent chooses to tell a child that babies come from storks, then you have to roll with it, even if the child is 10. If a 4 year old knows the story about “daddy using his daddy parts to put a seed in mommy” then roll with that, too.

As one of the other posters noted, highly sexualized questions can be an indication of abuse so this is an area to tread lightly on. If you suspect a child is being abused but you don’t know who the perpetrator could be it’s best to report to a mutual person in authority.

 

[cmscms]

One more thing to add. Because parents know the whole truth, they suspect the kid is asking and wanting the whole answer. Sometimes a simple answer is more than enough to keep a kid happy.

For example, when a kid asks ‘Why do some people have more kids than others’ an answer might be God has a different plan for different families.

Or when does the baby come out of the mommy could be answered with ‘When mommy’s stomach pains become too strong’

 

[Phemie]

At the age of four DD asked what twins were. I told her and showed her pictures in my obstetrics textbook.

When she was 5 I had DS2 and she had lots of questions which I always answered truthfully, remembering how ticked off I always was when adults didn’t answer my questions truthfully. By age 6 she knew where babies came from and how.

I’m not sure I did as good a job with the boys, since they never asked questions that I can recall.

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

In our situation, my two eldest were in 1st and 2nd grade when I was pregnant. We answered all questions open and honestly…but let them lead the line of questioning. We started out basic. How did the baby get there, sperm fertilizes the egg. After several months of asking various questions they finally asked how the sperm gets from the man to the woman.

 

[jmcrae]

All of these most recent answers, it should be noted, are parents discussing how they handled it with their own kids.

When it comes to other people’s kids (which is what the OP is asking about) I’m more convinced than ever that the best idea is to leave it up to the parents.

 

[WatchingMedia]

For small children - babies come from God.

It is unnecessary to tell most children “how”.

This is a great link when a child is ready to see the baby growing. Just click on any picture. Its the new 4D technology.
ehd.org/movies-index.php

 

[purplesunshine]

For small children - babies come from God.

not to be a stick in the mud, but if you’re teaching in a public school that’s not really going to get you far. Many children today are being raised under the idea that they can pick their own religion. Worse than that many today are taught that faith is fake and that God is just as pretend as Santa. So telling them that God makes babies is would have the same affect as saying the stork brought them.

 

[Adeodatus]

Do you give them the old Stork Delivery cover-up

I don’t have a dog in this fight but that’s a hilarious turn of phrase.

If I had a kid I think I would probably be gently but unflinchingly honest. Then again this habit I like to think of as “honesty” has probably doomed many of my relationships with women so maybe it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Though in the end I suppose it has also saved me no end of hassle.

 

[mighty]

Give your child an answer that is appropriate of his / her age group.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

The reason is that parents have this way of getting extremely emotional and difficult to communicate with, and pulling their kids out of your program, and screaming and yelling and accusing you of being some kind of homosexual child molester, if you start talking to their kids about sex - so, save yourself a whole pile of trouble, and just don’t do it.

Oho don’t worry, I’m not stupid enough to do something like that. Heck I probably wouldn’t even be able to open my mouth from the sheer awkwardness.

I do find it amusing though how some parents have dealt with this. My parents never told me the truth and it took a Biology lesson in human reproduction to tell me that the Stork Delivery services went bankrupt ages ago.

 

[WatchingMedia]

With young children who are not your own - always tell them to ask their Parents.

 

[Lutheranteach]

I’ve never hidden it. The key, I think, is to only give the info a child wants needs and can handle at the time.

 

[jmcrae]

Oho don’t worry, I’m not stupid enough to do something like that. Heck I probably wouldn’t even be able to open my mouth from the sheer awkwardness.

I do find it amusing though how some parents have dealt with this. My parents never told me the truth and it took a Biology lesson in human reproduction to tell me that the Stork Delivery services went bankrupt ages ago.

Is that common in the Philippines? I know lots of single Filipinos who don’t seem to be “clued in” - it was odd one time, to be asked by a grown man (Filipino) - he’d been the only one on deck when the toilet paper in the ladies’ needed to be changed, and he came out, and I was coming down the hall, and he said, “They have no urinals in the ladies’ - why is that?” I thought, "Aww, nobody’s told him. Uhmmm… " - so I just played dumb and said, “What’s a urinal?” and then, “Oh, look, there’s a spider! Eek, kill it!”