The Perennial Breakup Post

[smc]

Maybe when you are ready you should stretch it to 30 minutes away.

You worked me up to 25 mins. Dang, you’re good!

 

[smc]

Any chance you have a trusted priest / adviser you could talk to? Maybe the relationship can still be salvaged. If she’s in RCIA could she be convinced to see a more Catholic point of view regarding sexual morality?
Also don’t know if you have had an opportunity to read much about “theology of the body”?

Thanks again Jen95. So, yes I have a trusted priest friend. I have reached out and want to sit and chat with him.

As far as salvaging goes, I am telling myself that if this feeling of regret continues for a while then maybe I should rekindle things. However, I know the regret I am feeling is natural and as my mind clears I think I could start to see the wisdom in breaking this off. As I stated elsewhere on this thread, it was toxic. Her comments on sexuality and it being a ‘need’ to her and ‘resentment’ possibly setting in if she doesn’t get the physical attention is clear. I appreciated that about her. Clarity.

Then, finally, Theology of the Body. I NEED to bone up on Theology of the Body and do some other self-improvement. That’s that the task it seems to me.

I appreciate you. Thanks!

 

[TheLittleLady]

And if I meet a single, Catholic woman…will she want someone like me who has fallen in such a grievous manner?

Did you father a child or contract an incurable STI? If not, there is nothing to disclose to a woman you date. You sinned, confessed it, and done. We are not required to reveal our sins to our spouses, let alone to someone we date (again, unless there is a child in the picture or an incurable STD).

 

[goout]

It seems to me you are doubting the healing power of Christ.
Your shortcomings, however numerous they might be, are no match for the power of Christ to heal you. Your part is to loosen your grip on your own shortcomings.

Did I make the right decision?

Who knows? Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. You live today with what God allows you today. The past is gone, and that’s not just a cliche, it’s a reality you have to deal with.

I tell my unmarried children: If you want to be married, live the virtues now that marriage will require. Start now, because it takes a lot of practice to be married well.

One of those virtues is patience. Another is forgiveness. If you can’t be patient with your own shortcomings and accept God’s forgiveness and healing, you can’t give them to a spouse.
Start now in whatever small way, cause the road is long and narrow.
But worth it for love.

 

[smc]

Your part is to loosen your grip on your own shortcomings.

Wow. Thanks. That really got me emotional. For its truth about my doubting Christ and my own shortcomings. I was thinking today about my culpability in this breakup and how unchristian so much of what I did was. I was going pretty strong at my failings. This was something I think I needed to read. Thanks. God Bless!

 

[smc]

No STD or STI. No children.

You’re right of course. I don’t have to disclose (made the mistake of asking about that in another relationship). I just know that is such a touchy and delicate issue. But then again, I’ve been immature in the past and that’s something that I have grown better with. So, point taken.

 

[smc]

I try to remind myself that, even if the right person never comes along, this way is better than giving up heaven to be in a relationship where the other person won’t commit to chastity.

That’s strong. God Bless you for that. Did you ever have guilt that you changed things in the middle of the relationship? That was the most frequent comeback from my ex and from one or two of her friends. I, simply put, agreed that I did change things. I’d really like to know your take.