The Perfect Boyfriend.. Almost

[Lucky7]

My biggest fear is that, as the only devout Catholic in his life, if I break up with him for not sharing my faith, I will turn him against the Church rather than guiding him toward it.

Or he will respect your devotion to your faith and maybe somewhere down the road want to know what it is about your faith that is so special.

Too often I hear people avoiding saying or doing things because they don’t want to turn someone “against the Church”. I think if they do that, they were already heading in that direction…and let’s be honest, the Church isn’t, never was, and never will be “popular”.

Let go and let God.

 

[mvm817]

I just went through this exact same experience, except I’m a Catholic guy who was dating a agnostic girl. We mutually ended the relationship two days ago on Christmas precisely because of this reason, but we both decided to keep in touch and so forth. I also felt an extra strong obligation to be a good, model Catholic with her because doesn’t have any close relationships with other Catholics. I feel a lot better ending it cause she wasn’t on the same page with me faith-wise and she wasn’t willing to learn more about my faith. One tough part of this kind of relationship is you inevitably feel like you have to bring this person to the faith, and share with them the reason for your joy. But this came out naturally for me…as they say, when you get to know someone you soon find out about what they really love.

I don’t know if you’ve already decided to break up with him yet, but the posters here are right in saying dating is for marriage. Does he see your relationship as discernment for marriage? If he does he has to know where to stand in terms of your faith/morals/values? I’d strongly recommend watching some chasity videos of Jason and Crystalina Evert with him and discuss those issues with him. I like the “Romance without Regret” video because it’ll show your boyfriend an example of a young, Catholic couple at the point right before getting marriage. It’s the kind of love young unmarried Catholics like you and me are striving for.

Romance without regret:
youtube.com/watch?v=REj1rhc4RUk

More here:
chastity.com

If you’ve already decided that he’s not the right guy and you need to break up, do end it honestly and don’t worry about him growing further away from the Church. I think if anything he would’ve grown to respect Catholicism more because of your seriousness of breaking up over it!

 

[marymary1975]

I know there must be over a thousand posts on this topic here, but I feel like dredging this up again. I am a devout (or I try to be) Catholic dating an agnostic. He doesn’t rule out the possibility of God, but he is not interested enough to bother finding out about him. After reading tons of information about this topic, I have decided this relationship probably isn’t the best idea for me or my faith. My problem is, how do I explain this change of heart to him? He is completely respectful of my faith. He lets all of my beliefs be the guidelines for our relationship. In short, there is nothing wrong with the relationship other than the fact that I want someone who shares my beliefs rather than tolerates them
My biggest fear is that, as the only devout Catholic in his life, if I break up with him for not sharing my faith, I will turn him against the Church rather than guiding him toward it. He really cares for me and treats me with the utmost respect, but I don’t know if this is enough for me anymore.

The problem in your situation is more than simply not sharing your faith. The problem here is that two people who doesn’t agree over their belief system is a relationship with an extremely high percentage of being in constant trouble. So far, you and him have not lived together and have not been married and that is what “allows” you to have a relationship with him where your faith can be respected. Marriage changes everything. Anybody who is or has been married can tell you that tiny little differences which during dating seemed to be a non issue, in marriage turn into major problems.

Your faith is basically your whole basic system of values and beliefs and when two people that are living together have a completely different system of values and beliefs, that is a call for trouble and it is going to make a big clash sooner or later. I think you should try to make him see this point; that it is not just because you are an agnostic; that it is just the fact that such a radical system of beliefs between two people living together is practically a call for trouble. My grandmother used to say opposites attract but they never last, and it is true.

 

[PaladinSword]

Due to lack of response from her I believe OP has abandoned the thread.

 

[HeygirlHey]

Thank you all of you for your responses! I think that ending now will be the best option, I only regret entering into a relationship I should have seen was not going to end well. Thank you for the support and prayers