The plot thickens...

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I think that what I am going to suggest is a weasel way out, but I do not think that it is a lie.

You can tell them that Catholics sometime choose to abstain from receiving communion even when allowed by the Catholic Church. That is done because of the concepts of proper disposition and respect to the sacraments. In a similar way you would not have the proper disposition to accept their communion and doing so would take away the respect that is due to the Christian charity that all of you are sharing.

With this approach you can honestly tell them that you are not going to do it because you really love them and respect them, and anything else would be mocking them.
 
I considered such. They have been with me when I have not received in my own church, and that is what I said to my MIL the time she broke out in tears; “You have to understand that sometimes I don’t receive in my own church.” She said, never without a response, “Would you like to attend the healing service right after??” - NO!!! :eek:

But, this is going to recur. I think it has to come out, and SIL has to be at peace and know how to handle the situation.

I know what has to be done. I don’t know how to do it.
 
minnieg said:
I considered such. They have been with me when I have not received in my own church, and that is what I said to my MIL the time she broke out in tears; “You have to understand that sometimes I don’t receive in my own church.” She said, never without a response, “Would you like to attend the healing service right after??” - NO!!! :eek:

But, this is going to recur. I think it has to come out, and SIL has to be at peace and know how to handle the situation.

I know what has to be done. I don’t know how to do it.
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They didn’t receive at your Mass did they?:eek:
Instead of calling their Minister I would call my Priest if I were having this much trouble explaining it to them.
 
That’s not what I was getting at - I was saying that the time I was at their church and didn’t receive, I pointed out to her that sometimes I don’t receive in my own church.

They know that the Church does not allow non-Catholics to receive.
 
minnieg said:
That’s not what I was getting at - I was saying that the time I was at their church and didn’t receive, I pointed out to her that sometimes I don’t receive in my own church.

They know that the Church does not allow non-Catholics to receive.
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Oh, ok, well then they ought to understand that since they can’t receive at Mass that you can’t receive at their service. It’s a shame that they feel so left out or think the way they do. Perhaps just explaining it all to them with the help of your Priest, the Cathechism, your husband’s help, all the above, ought to put it all to rest.

Do you yourself have a clear enough understanding to undertake all of this alone, because if not there are many resources out there to help you explain it if you don’t/or is it that you just dread telling them AGAIN something about your faith based on their reactions to it? (In any case I will keep you in my prayers, what a difficult undertaking it seems when it ought to be so simple.)
 
look, minni, it’s a tough situation

but

you wrote you SIL is a basically good gal, you have good history. OK she’s a little (a lot ?) like her mum, but you two get on OK.

so, call her and tell HER. not your MIL (who sounds a little like a wingnut). just tell HER it’s outside of accepted practices of your faith. tell her you’ve ruminated. tell her you’ve tossed and turned at night. You’ve worried and worried some more. then tell her that you remembered that she and you are pals. you remembered that she’s an OK gal. tell her you’re sorry you got all anxious over it because you remembered she would understand!
 
Yes, I understand enough, but I also understand that they don’t buy it.

Good suggestions all. I will be using most of them in my solution I’m sure, and will let you all know how it comes out.

Prayers are most definitely appreciated.

Here’s praying to St. Jude, patron of hopeless cases; St. Dymphna, patroness of the mentally ill; and St. Monica, patroness of married women, whose prayers led to conversion of husband, MIL, and son.
 
Minnieg, this is complicated (and more so for those of us who run away from confrontation). As a Catholic convert I can understand how difficult this is, especially as protetants do see non participation in their communion as a way of Catholics just being pernickety and difficult.

Read Monicatholic’s suggestion again, I think she’s hit on the best approach: directly to the bride-to-be, after all, it’s her wedding, not her mom’s and the handling of how things happen is finally her call.

I do hope this can be resolved, and speedily, before the pre-wedding stress is at it’s highest closer to the wedding date.
 
It’s a pretty minor persecution, I know, but don’t forget to offer this united to the cross for the conversion of sinners!

Remember blessed are those who are persecuted for His sake!!
 
Hello again;

I understand not wanting to cause a rift, but really, you are standing up for your faith. You’re not causing the rift. They should just back down, already. I would not take communion, and that’s it. I would say, I really don’t want to get into a long debate, but this is my faith position on this. I think what happens sometimes in friendships, is that faith is often not discussed until major events like weddings, baptisms, etc become front and center. I had friends from all different faiths, but thankfully, never had to confront this issue. I know it’s hard, but make it so that you don’t do something that compromises your values and beliefs. It sounds like you won’t…hopefully, your MIL and inlaws will understand. God bless!
 
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