The Role of a Christian husband

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Okay , this is the kind of thread I have been looking for today.

Scripture tells us, both explicitly in Ephesians and by example and pre-figurement all over the Old Testament what role husbands, and by extension fathers, are to have in the family.

St. Paul tells us in Ephesians that men are to “love their wives as Christ loved the Church.” (I have often wondered why Paul chose the plural for “wife” there. 😉 Oh well, another lost opportunity.)

Women, in return are to submit themselves to the authority of their husband as the Church submits herself to Christ.

So let’s look at what Christ does for the Church then how the Church submits herself to Christ.

What did Christ do? He showed His love for us, gave us proper teachings, steered us in the right direction then sacrificed Himself for us utterly and completely. So this is what husbands must do.

What does the Church do. Ideally, we conform our conscience to the Lord’s teachings, serve Him as best as we can and in the way that we believe He wants us to and express thankfulness and gratitude for all He has given us. Unfortunately, most of us do not quite live up to this ideal all the time. In practice, we constantly asks for stuff, demand things be done our way, expect the Lord to respond and generally only give Him attention when we need something. Somehow I do not think this would be a good way for a marriage to work.

And men, do we always follow the example of Christ? Or we selfish or overly generous? Do we ignore our bride, or respond only when it suits us? Do we inspire our family and lead or do we dictate and expect obedience or even, abdicate our role as leader? Are we indulgent of our children when they stray, or overly harsh? When trying to make a family decision, do you honestly seek (name removed by moderator)ut from your wife try to honestly express yourself? Are you willing to do things her way, even if you disagree if she makes her point well enough? Are you willing to admit a mistake? Do discussions over major decisions frequently degenerate into a battle of wills?

Ladies, do you support your husband, even when things are a bit tough or he has dome something you do not like? Do you undercut or usurp his authority? Do you try to manipulate him to your way of thinking, or do have a discussion based on equal dignity? Do you help support him in certain areas where he is weak or do secretly (or openly) mock those weaknesses or try to take advantage of them? When trying to make a family decision, do you honestly seek (name removed by moderator)ut from your husband try to honestly express yourself? Are you willing to do things his way, even if you disagree if he makes his point well enough? Are you willing to admit a mistake? Do discussions over major decisions frequently degenerate into a battle of wills?

Love is not an emotion, it is a choice.

A husband and a wife are always equal. Yet that equality is expressed by filling different marital roles. Personally, I think the man has it the toughest.
 
*Wives were plural, because men were plural in that context…Men = wives. Man = one wife. 🙂

Anyways…

I will say, that once you surrender to God’s ‘vision’ of marriage, teamwork within in, and the beautiful roles that wives and husbands play…the better your marriage will be.

I learned it the hard way…many arguments. I’m a very strong-willed woman, and I don’t make apologies for who I am…my husband loves that I’m strong willed (to a point:D)…but, when you use your independence to undermine your husband’s role in the house…it definitely can ruin a good thing.

Thankfully, God rescued me in time, and revealed to me the beauty of His Truth!

Men and women, take time each day to really listen to what God wants you to do…how He wants you to serve…and you will be at peace…in various areas of your lives, but especially in marriage.*
 
The husband and wife are also
to become one.
You could also use the three fold cord illustration , God husband wife.

This takes communication and more communication.

I have heard stories of couples
who eventually learned to read there mates thoughts just by looking at them.
 
Hi excaliber
A man should love his wife as Christ loved the Church. Scripture shows us how much Christ loved the Church. 1 Corinthians ch 13 tells us what love is. Christ died for us even though he knew that we would continue to sin, He didn’t wait for us to be sinless before He died, are we willing to die to ourself and our ideas to allow our wives to be touched by God in their travels and be changed by him or do we insist that they do it our way because THINK it is the right way . Hope this helps may God bless geoff
 
There’s always exceptions to every rule. :rolleyes:
Since you’ve rolled your eyes, why don’t I state my meaning more clearly. I don’t agree with your generalization. I don’t think it’s a good rule of thumb to assume that good fathers are usually good husbands, and vice versa. That’s my belief based on my observations.
 
Since you’ve rolled your eyes, why don’t I state my meaning more clearly. I don’t agree with your generalization. I don’t think it’s a good rule of thumb to assume that good fathers are usually good husbands, and vice versa. That’s my belief based on my observations.
I have to agree, I know someone who is a good dad. Feeds the kids,
changes diapers and everything.

But dosent keep jobs, and I was told that he cheats on his wife.
and will probably deal with a divorce when his wife is tired of it.
 
I have to agree, I know someone who is a good dad. Feeds the kids,
changes diapers and everything.

But dosent keep jobs, and I was told that he cheats on his wife.
and will probably deal with a divorce when his wife is tired of it.
Now this is a much better answer.

As I said, there are always exceptions to a rule. But for the most part, a good husband needs to also be a good father. It’s called leadership. To be the spiritual leader he must lead them all.
 
I am interested in the CATHOLIC
view of the God assigned role of
the husband.

It would be great to see scriptures
or church fathers in the answers, to show that the church is the source.

Not liberal society.
Love your children, support your wife and family and fulfill your sexual desires.
 
It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honorably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam “his companion.” “The woman,” he says, “whom thou gavest me as a companion.” Hence, it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband.

The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit, with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.

He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they discharge their duties with fidelity.
 
On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the prince of the Apostles: “Let wives be subject to their husbands: that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel; but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (i Peter iii. 1-6).

To train up their children in the practice of virtue, and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns, should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love her home and should not spend her time elsewhere, unless duty requires this and she has her husband’s consent.

Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing obedience.
 
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