The role of priests' and deacons' wives in the Eastern Tradition

[DL82]

I’d be interested to hear about the way the Eastern Church views the wives of its’ priests and deacons. I’d be especially interested to hear the views of any clergy wives or married clergy who visit this board.

I am still a single man, but feel called to the Diaconate (I’m Roman Rite, but have always had an interest in all things Eastern - it was a married Melkite deacon who was pretty instrumental in my enrolling in RCIA). I’d like to be a married man as well, if that’s compatible with where I feel called, but that all depends on whether I meet the right woman, and I think, at this stage, I’d be looking for someone who wants to be a deacon’s wife.

I understand the Eastern Tradition views being a priest or deacon’s wife as a vocation in its own right. I’d be interested to hear how that works out in practice.

 

[kgbdman]

DL82,

I don’t have any information for you regarding Eastern Rite, priests, deacons and wives, but actually have more of a question. Is it true that if you become a deacon prior to marriage you are unable to do so? I had read that if you have taken the vows of matrimony first then seek the diaconate the bishop will likely, and probably, bless the “new” vocation, but if you chose the diaconate first you have to take a vow of chastity, which prevents you from marriage.

I am married (20 years) and sense a calling to the diaconate myself; I just haven’t pursued or “discerned” the calling yet.

Good luck to you and I hope you get your answer.

GOD Bless.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

DL82,

I don’t have any information for you regarding Eastern Rite, priests, deacons and wives, but actually have more of a question. Is it true that if you become a deacon prior to marriage you are unable to do so? I had read that if you have taken the vows of matrimony first then seek the diaconate the bishop will likely, and probably, bless the “new” vocation, but if you chose the diaconate first you have to take a vow of chastity, which prevents you from marriage.

I am married (20 years) and sense a calling to the diaconate myself; I just haven’t pursued or “discerned” the calling yet.

Since you say you “sense” a calling then you have begun to discern a call. What you haven’t done is submit that discernment to the Church for validation.

However, you are correct that a man may not marry after ordination. Thus, a married man may be ordained a deacon but a deacon may not marry. The Latin way of saying this is that “orders is an impediment to marriage, but marriage is not an impediment to orders.”

And, just to be technical, only religious take “vows” – secular or diocesan clergy make promises. The only different is who the recipient is. For vows God is the recipient while for promises the bishop is the recipient.

Deacon Ed

 

[Deacon_Ed]

I’d be interested to hear about the way the Eastern Church views the wives of its’ priests and deacons. I’d be especially interested to hear the views of any clergy wives or married clergy who visit this board.

I am still a single man, but feel called to the Diaconate (I’m Roman Rite, but have always had an interest in all things Eastern - it was a married Melkite deacon who was pretty instrumental in my enrolling in RCIA). I’d like to be a married man as well, if that’s compatible with where I feel called, but that all depends on whether I meet the right woman, and I think, at this stage, I’d be looking for someone who wants to be a deacon’s wife.

I understand the Eastern Tradition views being a priest or deacon’s wife as a vocation in its own right. I’d be interested to hear how that works out in practice.

The wife of a deacon or priest is honored with her own title (my wife is referred to as the Deaconessa). Their actual role will depend, in large part, upon the need of the community and the woman herself. Usually the wife of a priest is more involved in the community than a deacon’s wife, but that is not always true. What is true is that the wife is generally more visible than other women in the parish.

Deacon Ed

 

[Aramis]

DL82,

I don’t have any information for you regarding Eastern Rite, priests, deacons and wives, but actually have more of a question. Is it true that if you become a deacon prior to marriage you are unable to do so? I had read that if you have taken the vows of matrimony first then seek the diaconate the bishop will likely, and probably, bless the “new” vocation, but if you chose the diaconate first you have to take a vow of chastity, which prevents you from marriage.

I am married (20 years) and sense a calling to the diaconate myself; I just haven’t pursued or “discerned” the calling yet.

Good luck to you and I hope you get your answer.

GOD Bless.

That has been the rule for Deacons since the 3rd century, if not before. And since deaconal ordination was predicate for presbyteral ordination, it applies to priests because they are also deacons.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

If it is like the situation with the Protestant clergy I know, she is expected to be free help.

 

[5Loaves]

I am still a single man, but feel called to the Diaconate (I’m Roman Rite, but have always had an interest in all things Eastern - it was a married Melkite deacon who was pretty instrumental in my enrolling in RCIA). I’d like to be a married man as well, if that’s compatible with where I feel called, but that all depends on whether I meet the right woman, and I think, at this stage, I’d be looking for someone who wants to be a deacon’s wife.

Deacon candidates in the Latin church who are married would expect that their wives would be very involved in the entire process leading up to the application for consideration for the diaconate and through to ordination should that prove to be the call. I don’t know how universal it is but in the deacon formation programs I know of the wives are expected to participate in classes with the husbands etc. during the years of discernment and of formation.

It really is a call to the couple, i.e. both need to be called and the Church is looking for that when it considers the deacon candidates.

 

[collin_nunis]

According to a brochure that I picked up when I was in Melbourne, deacon candidates do not need their wives’ approval before becoming deacons. Shocking but true.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

According to a brochure that I picked up when I was in Melbourne, deacon candidates do not need their wives’ approval before becoming deacons. Shocking but true.

And contrary to canon law! I can assure you that in the United States no married man would be ordained to the diaconate without the permission of his wife (to do so could lead to the Church being party to a divorce). In my formation class we had one man dropped because his wife had decided that his being a deacon would have a negative impact on their family life.

Deacon Ed

 

[collin_nunis]

Hmm… that explains why the Latins and the other Eastern Catholics are not entirely “one” entity in Melbourne. Great place nonetheless. Australia’s cradle of Orthodoxy is there.

 

[Cowfold]

I recall listening to ‘Thought for Today’ on BBC 4 some years ago when a well known Rabbi by the name Lionel Blue was in the chair and came out with a very profound arguement where by he said the Catholic church should emulate the Eastern rite and allow the Secular Clergy (parish priests) to marry. Those aspiring to high office are taken from the Religious Orders such as Cistercians or even Carthusians.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

I recall listening to ‘Thought for Today’ on BBC 4 some years ago when a well known Rabbi by the name Lionel Blue was in the chair and came out with a very profound arguement where by he said the Catholic church should emulate the Eastern rite and allow the Secular Clergy (parish priests) to marry. Those aspiring to high office are taken from the Religious Orders such as Cistercians or even Carthusians.

The Eastern Church does not allow clergy to marry. They will ordain married men, but that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Deacon Ed

 

[CB_Catholic]

I recall listening to ‘Thought for Today’ on BBC 4 some years ago when a well known Rabbi by the name Lionel Blue was in the chair and came out with a very profound arguement where by he said the Catholic church should emulate the Eastern rite and allow the Secular Clergy (parish priests) to marry. Those aspiring to high office are taken from the Religious Orders such as Cistercians or even Carthusians.

I think it’s kind of funny that people who are not of our faith feel that they know better how to run our Church than we do.

 

[Cowfold]

I think it’s kind of funny that people who are not of our faith feel that they know better how to run our Church than we do.

I don’t think it is funny at all. If we close our ears to people outside then that is the beginning of the end.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I don’t think it is funny at all. If we close our ears to people outside then that is the beginning of the end.

I didn’t mean it in the sense of being comical, more like peculiar or odd. And I don’t understand your second statement. Beginning of the end of what?

 

[Cowfold]

I didn’t mean it in the sense of being comical, more like peculiar or odd. And I don’t understand your second statement. Beginning of the end of what?

I then might ask you why peculiar or odd?? The more we listen to ‘people not of our faith’ the better things will get. We should never close our ears to external (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Cowfold]

The Eastern Church does not allow clergy to marry. They will ordain married men, but that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Deacon Ed

I think one has to define what you mean as Eastern rite. It is possible LB was talking non RC

 

[Deacon_Ed]

I think one has to define what you mean as Eastern rite. It is possible LB was talking non RC

Your question is really confusing. If, by “RC” you mean “Roman Catholic” then no Eastern Church is “Roman Catholic” since that term refers to the Latin Rite of the Church. Even the non-Catholic Eastern Churches do not allow their clergy to marry. They will ordain married men. This is true for the Eastern Catholic Churches as well.

Deacon Ed

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I think it’s kind of funny that people who are not of our faith feel that they know better how to run our Church than we do.

We had a sign at work - A man can do any amount of work. Just as long it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing.

 

[Cowfold]

Your question is really confusing. If, by “RC” you mean “Roman Catholic” then no Eastern Church is “Roman Catholic” since that term refers to the Latin Rite of the Church. Even the non-Catholic Eastern Churches do not allow their clergy to marry. They will ordain married men. This is true for the Eastern Catholic Churches as well.

Deacon Ed

Let us expand the debate.
I believe that the Catholic Church can only succeed by allowing it’s Secular Clergy (parish priests) to marry. And I would further say that those who are chosen for high office are chosen from the Monastic orders (as I still believe celibacy has a special place in the church)