The Sacrament of Marriage. . .

[mickeyblueeyes]

So basically, we were married in a Catholic Church 8 years ago, and at the time I was protestant, I converted to Catholicism a year later.

I recently found out that she is seeing another man, and our marriage is in grave trouble as she says she doesn’t love me, and although she came back home and we are under the same roof, I know she is still “in love” with him- messaging each other all the time.

We have 3 young children and I am heartbroken.

She says she no longer feels worthy of the Church, and I freely admit that things haven’t been great with us for a long time, and we would often argue and I would say really hurtful things, I have recognised this and committed to change through prayer and professional help.

If things get to the point of seperation and even divorce, the question is:

Is our marriage recognised as a sacramental one even though I was protestant at the time of marriage? Or would she be able to say the marriage is not valid and get an annulment?

 

[Elf01]

Since you married in a Catholic Church the assumption would be in favor of validity. There would be no lack of form case and I would presume the necessary permissions were obtained. There may be other grounds, but there is not enough information to determine that.

 

[Vico]

So basically, we were married in a Catholic Church 8 years ago, and at the time I was protestant, I converted to Catholicism a year later.

I recently found out that she is seeing another man, and our marriage is in grave trouble as she says she doesn’t love me, and although she came back home and we are under the same roof, I know she is still “in love” with him- messaging each other all the time.

We have 3 young children and I am heartbroken.

She says she no longer feels worthy of the Church, and I freely admit that things haven’t been great with us for a long time, and we would often argue and I would say really hurtful things, I have recognised this and committed to change through prayer and professional help.

If things get to the point of seperation and even divorce, the question is:

Is our marriage recognised as a sacramental one even though I was protestant at the time of marriage? Or would she be able to say the marriage is not valid and get an annulment?

The marriage is sacramental between two that are baptized (Catholic or not), and it cannot be dissolved once it is consummated.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Book a Retrouvaille retreat. https://retrouvaille.org/

It may be a drive, it may be a sacrifice

If one of you had a physical illness and the only doctor was seeing patients at the location of your nearest retreat, you would find a way to get there, get a sitter, etc.

Every Diocese/Parish I’ve encountered can get a scholarship for Retrouvaille if the couple cannot afford the cost.

Find a way. Get there.

 

[mickeyblueeyes]

She is sleeping with another man and although she came home, she is not interested. I’d already suggested Retrouvaille. She said she no longer feels worthy to go to Mass

 

[mickeyblueeyes]

I posted the other week about how she’d left and then returned. But I know 100% she is continuing her relationship emotionally and physically. She has turned her back on the church and blames me.
She is back home but in spite of me trying, the atmosphere is non-existent.

 

[heidi_storage]

I would also reiterate: Seek out a lawyer. I know you’re fighting for your marriage, but you have to be prepared in case your wife tries to kick you out or files for divorce. You owe it to your children to be a constant, stable presence, and understanding your situation is going to help you perform that duty. Indeed, seeing a lawyer may even help you two stay together, since you will be able to communicate that you have a plan and are prepared for different eventualities.

I wish you the best. This is a very painful situation. I hope your wife repents.

 

[heidi_storage]

You cannot control her feelings, but you certainly can expect her not to continue to stray. If she wants to stay, she needs to stop contacting the other man. If she wants to go, she needs to leave the children behind.