The same sins over and over and over again

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Holland

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I have noticed that I am confessing the same sins over and over again. I will do better in one area only to fall flat on my face with something else but it is basically the same Confession only different numbers every time I go. I am starting to feel a little stupid that I can’t get control over some of this stuff. I am coming up on my 2 year re-entry into the Catholic Church and I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually. Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about? If so, any practical advice you can give would be appreciated.
 
Welcome to humanity. I think there are very very few of us who don’t have some sin or other (or more than one) that is a real recurring ‘thorn in the flesh’.

St Paul coined that very phrase, so even he probably understood what you’re taking about. Work on figuring out WHY you feel the urge to those particular sins - and if there’s any particular pattern to them. And how to, again in St Paul’s words, ‘flee temptation’. Start with prayer - and lots of it!

And remember two years is nothing. Sanctity is the work of a lifetime.
 
Read the second chapter of the book of Sirach.

If you don’t change, how do you expect anything else to change?

This morning I am beset with some old temptations. Remember to recognize temptations as just that, temptations.

You should try to develop some control, so that the temptations do not control you. Refuse to give in. Find something else to do. What you may find is that you have to re-focus your attention completely on something else, and the temptation goes away.

At the end of our lives, we are to present ourselves to the Lord as living sacrifices.

On cable this week, on TCM, there was an early 1932 film called “The Sign of the Cross.” The film was being highlighted because it had references to homosexuality in it, representing the decadence of the pagan Roman culture.

Otherwise, ignoring those distractions, it was a story of the heroic virtue of the early Christian martyrs. It really touched on the temptations to abandon the faith, and how our early Christian brothers and sisters held firm to the end.

You occupy a “space” in the world, and Jesus is calling you to conquer that space. Take control of that space, and don’t let anything in that shouldn’t be there.

You are called to be a saint.
You may be called to be a martyr. Don’t fail the test.
 
Holland:

Yes. Not uncommon.

Set milestones. Corral the temptations/acts into one compressed package, then go in for the kill.

To start, say to yourself I will never do this on Sunday. This way your first milestone is recognition of God’s day. Then monday,etc,etc. If you fail ignore the failure and continue. The devil is trying to work on your self esteem.

Read one biblical package per day, and when your tempted, say “Jesus I love you”. (special thnks to Fr. V)

Also daily Rosary will guarantee to show results and of course Mass every Sunday. Never stop confessing.

AndyF
 
Holland said:
I have noticed that I am confessing the same sins over and over again. I will do better in one area only to fall flat on my face with something else but it is basically the same Confession only different numbers every time I go. I am starting to feel a little stupid that I can’t get control over some of this stuff. I am coming up on my 2 year re-entry into the Catholic Church and I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually. Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about? If so, any practical advice you can give would be appreciated.
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Take it one day at a time. A lot of folks take the approach of, “I’ll never do that again for as long as I live.” Nice sentiment, and if you can accomplish it great; however, it usually works better to set small, achievable goals. Let’s say swearing was something you’re struggling with. Instead of saying, “I’ll never swear again,” try, “I won’t swear, today.” Then it becomes a matter of stringing together a series of wins and before you know it, the wins outnumber the defeats.
 
StCsDavid said:
Take it one day at a time. A lot of folks take the approach of, “I’ll never do that again for as long as I live.” Nice sentiment, and if you can accomplish it great; however, it usually works better to set small, achievable goals. Let’s say swearing was something you’re struggling with. Instead of saying, “I’ll never swear again,” try, “I won’t swear, today.” Then it becomes a matter of stringing together a series of wins and before you know it, the wins outnumber the defeats.
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Excellent answer! 👍

I’ll add this: in addition to taking it one day at a time and praying, spend some time in adoration. Go to www.masstimes.org and find out when and where there is Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament in your diocese, and go. Go regularly, pray in the Presence of the Lord. Offer up your temptations to him.

But also spend some time just listening for his voice. He may not speak for a while, but don’t lose heart.

Peace,
Dante
 
Just be glad that you are not coming up with new and different sins to commit.
 
I will not boast, except about my weaknesses. Although if I should wish to boast, I would not be foolish, for I would be telling the truth. But I refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or hears from me because of the abundance of the revelations. Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
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-2 Corinthians 12:5-10

As LilyM said, it looks like you may be having the same problem as St. Paul…in which case I would say your in pretty decent company. Just keep praying and seeking mercy.🙂
 
I once read that removing sin is like uprooting a tree. New sins that haven’t had a chance to take root aren’t all that difficult. But when we’ve gotten into habits the sin is allowed to take deep roots and requires a lot of “effort” (prayer, fasting, ect.) to remove. I experience this with bad language. If my wife’s around I do really realy well, and she’s very helpful at reminding me if I’m getting close. Then there are times when something happens and she’s not, then it’s bleep bleep bleep. Just have to keep trying.
 
Holland said:
I have noticed that I am confessing the same sins over and over again. I will do better in one area only to fall flat on my face with something else but it is basically the same Confession only different numbers every time I go. I am starting to feel a little stupid that I can’t get control over some of this stuff. I am coming up on my 2 year re-entry into the Catholic Church and I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually. Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about? If so, any practical advice you can give would be appreciated.
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Well, I’ve always found St. Francis de Sales’ instruction to give up sinful affections to be very cutting.
ALL the children of Israel went forth from the land of Egypt, but not all went forth heartily, and so, when wandering in the desert, some of them sighed after the leeks and onions,—the fleshpots of Egypt. Even so there are penitents who forsake sin, yet without forsaking their sinful affections; that is to say, they intend to sin no more, but it goes sorely against them to abstain from the pleasures of sin;—they formally renounce and forsake sinful acts, but they turn back many a fond lingering look to what they have left, like Lot’s wife as she fled from Sodom. They are like a sick man who abstains from eating melon when the doctor says it would kill him, but who all the while longs for it, talks about it, bargains when he may have it, would at least like just to sniff the perfume, and thinks those who are free to eat of it very fortunate. And so these weak cowardly penitents abstain awhile from sin, but reluctantly;—they would fain be able to sin without incurring damnation;—they talk with a lingering taste of their sinful deeds, and envy those who are yet indulging in the like. Thus a man who has meditated some revenge gives it up in confession, but soon after he is to be found talking about the quarrel, averring that but for the fear of God he would do this or that; complaining that it is hard to keep the Divine rule of forgiveness; would to God it were lawful to avenge one’s self! Who can fail to see that even if this poor man is not actually committing sin, he is altogether bound with the affections thereof, and although he may have come out of Egypt, he yet hungers after it, and longs for the leeks and onions he was wont to feed upon there! It is the same with the woman who, though she has given up her life of sin, yet takes delight in being sought after and admired. Alas! of a truth, all such are in great peril.
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Be sure, my daughter, that if you seek to lead a devout life, you must not merely forsake sin; but you must further cleanse your heart from all affections pertaining to sin; for, to say nothing of the danger of a relapse, these wretched affections will perpetually enfeeble your mind, and clog it, so that you will be unable to be diligent, ready and frequent in good works, wherein nevertheless lies the very essence of all true devotion. Souls which, in spite of having forsaken sin, yet retain such likings and longings, remind us of those persons who, without being actually ill, are pale and sickly, languid in all they do, eating without appetite, sleeping without refreshment, laughing without mirth, dragging themselves about rather than walking briskly. Such souls as I have described lose all the grace of their good deeds, which are probably few and feeble, through their spiritual languor.
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Don’t just give it up half-heartedly. Give it up wholeheartedly, and throw yourself completely into doing God’s will. Don’t pine after the lost pleasure of the sin, and don’t envy those who do the sin while you cannot. Entrust yourself completely to God.

I also recommend this book on prayer I recently read, Fire Within, by Fr. Thomas Dubay. This will give you an idea of how much God really has in store for those who love Him, and why prayer is so important.
 
Each of us has what is called a characteristic defect – we usually have more than one. Or, from another view, we all have many faults – but these many faults are often rooted in just one fundamental fault.

There is an interesting book called “The Particular Examen” by Fr. James McElhone (first published in 1952) which is available from Roman Catholic Books – although it may be out of print again (try eBay?). It is about using frequent confession (weekly) to root out your characteristic defect (and many of the associated faults along with it). This is typically done with a good priest with whom you have met and discussed the matter. He can then take pains that your confessions also get a dose of spiritual direction as well.
 
Holland said:
I can’t get control over some of this stuff. I am coming up on my 2 year re-entry into the Catholic Church and I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually. Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about? If so, any practical advice you can give would be appreciated.
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Holland,

Oh my, much of what others have written applies to me too. As does your post. I converted a bit over 2 years ago also.

Your I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually really struck a chord because what counts as “doing better spiritually” has undergone a drastic revision.

Before, I measured my spirituality based on sinfulness and holiness. Maybe not exclusively, but you get the picture.

Now, selfishness and devotion to God and service to others has taken a good portion of the place that sinfulness and holiness had formerly occupied in my mind and heart.

With the exception of Christ and Mary, we’re all in the same boat sin-wise. Though we are not all in the same boat when it comes to severity.

Laying that aside, the severity issue, during Adoration one morning, I was struck that what I was yearning for could be summed up by Saint Paul’s “And we shall be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of eye, at the last trumpet.” There are probably other and better verses more to my point, but that’s the one that filled my mind that morning.

Nothing short of that would satisfy me based on past struggles, failures, reprehensions, etc.

Now things are different. But before I say what is different, here’s what is largely the same: contrition, repentance, and penance. In fact those, have deepened. The truth telling and the gut level mea culpa, mea cupla, mea maxima culpa.

I’ve become resigned that while on earth I will fall short because it is true of me and all others except Jesus and Mary.

That resignation is not an open door. It has become something very different from that. I still strive after the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. I desiderate holiness.

What has changed dramatically is a self-absorbed obsession with my own spirituality has fallen away. Note, I am in no way saying or intimating you are like I was.

What has come as a replacement is a greater concern for others’ welfare, spiritually and otherwise, and a smaller concern for myself.

There’s more to say, but I’ll stop here.
 
Many good replies. Virtues are habits af doing good and vices the opposite. The more habitual, the harder to to root out.

That makes a daily examen of conscience absolutely necessary. When trying to control a rampant temper I started with a morning prayer, resolving not to lose it, and asking for the graces necessary to control it. Then at lunch time I went back over the morning and started again, if necessary. Then a final one at bedtime. (I had a terribly bad, habitual temper!)

I never was able to catch it before I lost it however, even after Adoration until one day during Mass, I gave my temper to Jesus during the Offertory. That week, for the first time I caught myself before I lost it. For me, I think I just had to recognize and admit that I could not heal my temper, only God could.

The encouraging part of all this: though it took me years to really control my temper, though I still slip once in a while, of course, is that while I was focusing on my temper, God healed me of other faults without my noticing it. One day a friend of mine, told me that she really looks to me when it comes to being charitable, not gossiping, etc.

I was shocked. Gossip used to be one of my faults. I hadn’t even noticed that I had been healed of it until my friend spoke up. God is truly awesome, especially when we decrease so that He can increase! May our Blessed Mother intercecede on your behalf so that you are surrounded by our Lord’s peace, joy, and love, as well as by the gifts and fruits of the Spirit!

In Christ’s peace and joy,

Robin L. in TX
 
I can definitely relate to this. I started taking my Catholicism very seriously about two years ago, after many years of not paying much attention to my faith. And I am also finding that one confession sounds a whole lot like the last one, in terms of the type of sins, and it gets discouraging to me, too. The one bit of progress that I am seeing is that, over time, I am tending to commit most types of sins less and less, and I am greatful for that. I also remember that, prior to about two years ago, I was paying so little attention to the concept of sin that I had no real awareness of when I was sinning at all, much less any contrition or desire to change. In that respect, at least, I have taken a necessary step in the right direction.

I also read a book about Reconcilliation (sorry, I don’t remember which one) in which the priest/author said that it is fairly logical that people tend to commit the same types of sins over and over again and never have any temptation to commit many other types of sins, because our sins often reflect our long-standing personality characteristics. A person who tends to be stingy may have to confess sins related to their stinginess many times, but they are not likely to suddenly start sinning by excessive spending/wasting of money. Makes sense to me.
 
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Holland said:
I have noticed that I am confessing the same sins over and over again. I will do better in one area only to fall flat on my face with something else but it is basically the same Confession only different numbers every time I go. I am starting to feel a little stupid that I can’t get control over some of this stuff. I am coming up on my 2 year re-entry into the Catholic Church and I really thought I would be doing a little better spiritually. Has anyone else experienced what I am talking about? If so, any practical advice you can give would be appreciated.
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Join the crowd! At any rate, sins that are repetitive can be greatly helped by recitation of the rosary - daily. If you are already doing that, then you should seek out a spiritual director (i.e., priest) who can help comb through all the factors that are causing you to repeat this same sin over and over. Most of us think we can lick our own spiritual hangups just by continuing to go to Confession. That’s a great help, of course, but God has given us priests to minister to our needs, and enjoys working through them to bring us to greater holiness.
 
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