I would ask then, why do Christ and Saint Paul both affirm the preferability of celibacy, and why does the Council of Trent assert its superiority over the married state?
But I can see the trouble here. People can talk until they’re blue in the face about the “lay single vocation,” but the fact is that it is not by its very nature defined by what it is, but only by what it is not (not married, not religious, not clerical). It’s like that category of “other” on surveys and such. However, there’s very little in common between the college student, the career woman, the widow, the ill person, and the caregiver for elder relations except the fact that they are not married, not religious, and not clerical–states of life whose duties and responsibilities, those ways we love and serve God and our neighbour, are rather clearly defined.
Personally, I am of the mind that the vocational category of lay singleness ought to be done away with, due to the fact that very few are called to it in and of itself, but rather as a means to something else–something that is defined in affirmative and not negative terms. Speaking about it the way we do makes it look like the black hole of states of life that most seem to consider it as.
You are right when you say that we are not meant to be alone. This is why the Church has always strongly favoured cenobitic life, ranging from cloistered monasteries to third orders to secular institutes. If one finds oneself unmarried after having reasonably believed that one should marry, then I should strongly suggest that consecrated life of some form or another, but preferably in community, (or in the case of a man, the priesthood) ought to be reconsidered. To my mind, many vocations to consecrated life and priesthood are lost due to this emphasis on the lay unmarried state.
But if one cannot do this, for some reason, then consider how one is called in a positive sense, a secondary vocation, so to speak. We can surely speak of a calling to become a tertiary, to practice medicine, to enter public service, to assist one’s extended family (another sort of community) and so forth. These are clearly defined callings, not so nebulous as the supposed “calling” in question.
In any case, I hope this helps. God bless.
