Della; Well I’m a 64 year old, and know that letting the other person know of your issues can be done politely.
And you do that at the time? How, exactly. Do you say, “Excuse me, but I have arthritic fingers, so would you please not squeeze my hand?” There’s no time to “explain” to someone holding out his hand and expecting to shake it right then and there. I’ve trusted and then winced, and moaned in pain–real pain, but it makes no difference to the other person because by then he’s moved on to someone else and my hand is hurting. No, better to simply bow and smile if need be. Others should understand that shaking hands is not a pleasant experience for everyone.
Nor is returning a hello to another person who says hello mandatory. But it says a lot about who you are when you refuse the kindness.
Hello is not the greeting we give each other at the SOP, is it? It’s “God bless you.” I can say that perfectly well without getting my hand squeezed.
Holding hands during the Lord’s prayer at Mass isn’t in the rubrics, but it isn’t prohibited either.
It is not to be done parish wide, with all and sundry–with people crossing aisles and the priest descending from the sanctuary but it’s done all the time under the false idea that it’s somehow “unifying.” Instead of encouraging this idea, the priest ought to instruct people that holding hands is fine for family and friends, if desired, but that it is not to be done otherwise. It would restore a great deal of peace and reverence if done properly.
If the parish you’re attending Mass at holds hands and the person next to reaches out, swallow your pride and hold their hand. If it’s too painful, just show them your hand in a polite gesture.
Whenever someone resorts to personal attacks, I know they are arguing from a weak position. I’m not moved by this. Try again.
See my answer above about attempting to make others “understand” within a second’s time it takes to shake hands.
We hold hands at my parish and we have many people who visit, being we’re a town with six lakes.
How nice for your parish. Frankly, I’d rather not be molested merely because I happen to visit your town no matter how many lakes it has.
I’ve had people let me know they have a cold when they point at their nose and let me know they don’t want to hold my hand and I understand that it’s their charity that their informing me. I give them a gesture of thanks in return.
And I’ve said, “contagious” when I have a cold, as well, so I won’t pass on germs, but that’s hardly the point.
I won’t be bullied into doing an action that is not part of the rubric just to give someone a feeling of “inclusion.” I will shake hands, judiciously, if I am able, if the SOP is done, but I am perfectly free to refuse if necessary. And no amount of “shaming” by others will make me change my mind.
Please carry on with any more comments you wish to make. I’m done.
People are so used to shaking hands they think it is a mandatory part of Mass, when it’s an option that can be dispensed at the discretion of the celebrant. In some parishes it becomes a free-for-all in which people wander all over the church greeting people like they were at a party. And the “sign of peace” often lingers well into the Lamb of God. I’d be relieved if the SOP were eliminated all together. I am convinced that, after a while–not all that long in reality, no one would miss it.