God be with you Angelina,
I understand your search for meaning with regards to spiritual experiences that you can’t explain. I too have had similar experiences in which I no idea as to the message they contain. Over the years I have learned that, alone, we can never ‘decipher’ the meaning. Understanding can only come when our Friend deems our souls ready to receive it. For one such experience, I had to meditate for over a decade upon the event before He granted me the gift of understanding.
You said that you already have two “Jesus necklaces”. That statement prompts reflection. What other two aspects of our Lord have you accepted into your heart? You also said that you do not need another one. These two devotions which already reside within your heart sustain you (whether you realize this or not). You may not understand why you need yet another devotion to our Lord, but as I said before, understanding is a gift. It will come when you are ready to receive it, even if that reception only comes when you stand before our Lord.
Second:The Sorrow of Parting and Our Lady Beside You
She does not deal with missing her son because she does not miss her son.
Her Immaculate Heart is united to the Most Sacred Heart of our Lord. She is so oriented to our Lord that He resides within the very center of her being. He is always present in her life and never leaves her side. Her sorrow was that of the suffering of her son, not of the parting. Wherever you find our Lady, you find our Lord.
The sorrow of parting we feel after Christ touches our lives is an invitation to unite ourselves to Him as His Mother did.
I have found two invaluable tools to help facilitate this union in my own life. The first is an exercise which can be done anywhere when you have a few moments. To begin, calm your mind and your body. Breathe slowly and regularly and push all thoughts and worries from your mind. While this may seem to be similar to the so-called “centering” that many new age movements propose to disassociate one’s self from reality, this exercise is, in fact, geared towards the exact opposite, the focusing of the entirety of the mind upon the very source of our existence: Christ. Imagine yourself in the place you feel most comfortable in. It could be your bedroom, a chapel, a park, any place where you feel totally safe. Next, imagine that you are sitting before Christ. Focus upon our Lord. What is he wearing? What does he look like? Can you smell anything? Simply focus upon the moment with Christ. Eventually, as you become more comfortable with the exercise and it more readily springs to mind, you can incorporate activities. Tell our Lord about your day. Go on walks with him. If you are sad, simply cry with him and allow him to comfort you. As you practice this, focus upon what you feel. This is the presence of the Lord in our life. Eventually, you will feel this presence in your daily life without needing to retreat to that inner temple in which our Lord waits. When this happens, you will understand why our Lady does not miss her son, because you will experience His companionship yourself.
The second tool to experiencing Christ’s daily presence in my life is a good deal more concrete: go to adoration if possible. There is nothing like coming before the physical presence of Christ. Even if you do not feel his physical presence immediately, with perseverance you will come to treasure the time you spend physically in the same room as our Lord. I certainly have.
Again, this is simply how I view the aspects of your dream in light of my own experience. I do not know if this is what our Lord meant when he granted you the gift of this dream. Understanding is a gift and it may be possible that the understanding which our Lord has bestowed upon me has nothing to do with what he means for you. Only you can discover this through discernment.
God Bless!
Br. Ben
