The top 5 things every Catholic should do before tieing the knot

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Stella_Matutina

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I’m getting married!!! :extrahappy:
I am a recently engaged Catholic, marrying the best Catholic guy there is and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions of what to do for marriage preparation.
I’ve heard some couples say, “You have to read such and such book.” or “We would have been lost if we did not… whatever.”

**So, if you had to make a list of say, 5 things you had to do before getting married, what would they be? **(Besides Precana seminar stuff, NFP classes and Engaged Encounter. For example, reading a certain book, praying a certain novena… etc.)

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Congrats!! 🙂

Many people will post this but THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE by Christopher West. We didn’t get it until after we were married and I wish I’d had it before.

The only other piece of advice I have is PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE more than you plan for your wedding. It sounds simple but I’ve seen so many of my friends - even my sister - who spents hours on end planning the perfect wedding only to have a rude awakening to married life. Don’t get me wrong…I had fun planning the ceremony and reception and all that entails but my first priority was making sure our marriage would be one that would enable us to help each other reach our primary goal of going to heaven! Since you are here seeking advice I’m guessing you are on the right track!

May you have a wonderful married life! So when is the big day?
 
SilenceISgolden said:
The only other piece of advice I have is PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE more than you plan for your wedding. It sounds simple but I’ve seen so many of my friends - even my sister - who spents hours on end planning the perfect wedding only to have a rude awakening to married life. Don’t get me wrong…I had fun planning the ceremony and reception and all that entails but my first priority was making sure our marriage would be one that would enable us to help each other reach our primary goal of going to heaven!
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That is EXACTLY the focus of my bridal forum too - we are concerned with planning a life, not a party. There is way too much focus on the ONLY the party, and while that’s an exciting and fun time, it’s not the priority, or shouldn’t be anyway.

I second the West book - good suggestion!! 👍

~Liza
 
Congrats to you. .
My wedding date is April 5th 08.
A few short weeks.

Both of us read " The Five Languages of Love" before we met. Fortunately we have the same language, but if you do not, knowing your spouses love language can help.
 
SilenceISgolden said:
Congrats!! 🙂

Many people will post this but THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE by Christopher West. We didn’t get it until after we were married and I wish I’d had it before.

The only other piece of advice I have is PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE more than you plan for your wedding. It sounds simple but I’ve seen so many of my friends - even my sister - who spents hours on end planning the perfect wedding only to have a rude awakening to married life. Don’t get me wrong…I had fun planning the ceremony and reception and all that entails but my first priority was making sure our marriage would be one that would enable us to help each other reach our primary goal of going to heaven! Since you are here seeking advice I’m guessing you are on the right track!

May you have a wonderful married life! So when is the big day?
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Thank you for your reply! I already have the Christopher West book you mentioned. Haven’t started reading it yet. And I loved what you said about planning the marriage and having Heaven be the goal. :angel1: That is key.

I don’t have a date yet 😦 . We had an appointment with our parish priest for tomorrow but he had to cancel for Monday. But if the church is available six months from now exactly, we’ll be married in early August. yay!!
 
Congratulations

#1 Read “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West

#2 Pray the Rosary together daily/say nightly prayers together

#3 Plan a date night, start now so that it becomes a habit

#4 Read “The Temperment God Gave You” by Art Bennett

#5 Read “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West 😉 😃
 
Three to Get Married - Great book. Highly recommend. I love Fulton Sheen though!

Together for Life - received from the Church we were married in, its okay. It had all the reading and such that are recommended for weddings in it.

5 Talk about everything
4 Pray
3 repeat 5 and 4 as needed
2 Relax - after all you’ve already talk about everything - still worried see 4
1 Enjoy your Wedding Day

Also make sure you both pack shoes. Hubby took off his rented shoes and realized that he had nothing packed for the honeymoon. Our 1st stop the next morning was at Wal-mart so he could buy some Tennis Shoes! 😃
 
My SIL did a lovely thing right before her wedding. She had the wedding rehearsal in church, then there was an opportunity for the wedding party and relatives to go to confession. Some had been away from the Church for awhile and were glad for a chance to set things right before the wedding. I was very, very impressed. Maybe you could talk to the priest about this.

Good luck!

Betsy
 
Try reading something different than Christopher West

I highly recommend reading

Dietrich and Alice Von Hildebrand who both wrote some superb books on married life and what marriage should be

C.S. Lewis “The Four Loves”
 
A few more good books are:

The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Ruin Their Relationships

These are all by the Same Author, Dr. Laura Schleschinger (sp?).
She is not catholic, but she has high morals and is always on the side of families and kids.
Brenda
 
Stella_Matutina said:
What do you mean by:
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I just think its sad that couples don’t read other authors and look to Christopher West as the end all and be all in what Catholic Theology should be. Again my recommendations would be:

Dietrich and Alice Von Hildebrand who both wrote some superb books on married life and what marriage should be

C.S. Lewis “The Four Loves”
 
DH and I read a good portion of Three to Get Married before we got married, and I highly recommend it. While I highly recommend The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West (and see that you’ve already read it) and pretty much anything by him, I would say to also read other stuff too, like Three to Get Married. C. West is amazing, but I think other things have helped as well :).

I would also recommend The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Other than that, pray, pray, pray - together and individually - spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. 🙂

Talk about everything and make sure your communication is good both in positive times and through conflicts.

Have fun! Make sure, even through all the wedding planning, that you are still going out and laughing :).
 
maria29 said:
I just think its sad that couples don’t read other authors and look to Christopher West as the end all and be all in what Catholic Theology should be. Again my recommendations would be:

Dietrich and Alice Von Hildebrand who both wrote some superb books on married life and what marriage should be

C.S. Lewis “The Four Loves”
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Christopher West isn’t the be all and end all, but I’ve met him and he comes pretty close. 😃

Christopher West teaches NOTHING new. He unpacks Pope John Paul II, Pope Benedict XVI, and Pope Paul VI, in language that can be understood by the Catholic lay person. OK, the Catholic religious are getting pretty hip on him too lately.

He puts the writing of the Popes into everybody’s hands. He would be the first to tell you that it’s not his ideas but theirs. His books are extensively footnoted.
 
I would suggest not only reading Good News for Sex and Marriage by Christopher West, but also attending the week-long Theology of the Body Institute in June. It’s kinda spendy, but I would rather put the money into a marriage than a wedding ANY DAY.
www.tobinstitute.org
If not before you marry, definitely think about it for soon afterward.
 
catholic79 said:
Three to Get Married - Great book. Highly recommend. I love Fulton Sheen though!

Together for Life - received from the Church we were married in, its okay. It had all the reading and such that are recommended for weddings in it.

5 Talk about everything
4 Pray
3 repeat 5 and 4 as needed
2 Relax - after all you’ve already talk about everything - still worried see 4
1 Enjoy your Wedding Day

Also make sure you both pack shoes. Hubby took off his rented shoes and realized that he had nothing packed for the honeymoon. Our 1st stop the next morning was at Wal-mart so he could buy some Tennis Shoes! 😃
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LOL I agree… TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING… it always amazes me that people get married and had no idea that their spouse was allergic to dairy or had 20,000 in debt… GET YOUR FINANCES IN ORDER… figure out who has debt and start paying things off or make a budget, combien your bank accounts, start saving for a house, talk about kids… how will they be raised?
ENjoy the day!!
 
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