The Truth: Being Left at the Altar

[CatholicSpirit]

Marriage is a holy sacrament and some people get left at the altar in so many ways. There is a question in my heart at times, “wasn’t I prepared spiritually as a confirmed Catholic?” And sometimes, “how can a soldier of Christ be denied like that?”

Then after many years it came to me and I had a realization. I kept going to church anyway and in front of me the whole time was an altar. I was always called to God and it took a long time to see it. So, is it the other way around? It’s humiliating to be left at the altar isn’t it?

It’s like the wise monks who practice martial arts who say the stronger person is the one that walks away from a fight. I think that’s the way it goes, the person who went to the altar was the stronger person.

Thoughts, comments, advice? And god bless my fellow believers!

 

[Casilda]

So sorry this happen. It may take a lifetime of reflection. Yes, the stronger person is left at the altar, alone, but with God you are never alone.

I personally know of two women who were left at the altar. One was a precious lady who was my neighbor. She never married. She found out many years later that her betrothed had leprosy and had decided not to marry or tell her. She lived a full life regardless.

The other was my college roommate. Her betrothed was hijacked on the way to the wedding by the family of a girl he had impregnated. My friend married later in life and is happy.

I am telling you this because it proves the stronger person is left standing, with God.

 

[CatholicSpirit]

That is so fascinating! Does your college roommate consider the action an “act of God?”

 

[Mary888]

And sometimes, “how can a soldier of Christ be denied like that?”

From a spiritual sense it is quite the opposite. Remember what Jesus said about happiness. Someone on God’s side is more likely to have misery on their life rather than joy. However this does not mean misery in life means we are awesome in faith but rather than when we think we are happy in life we should also wonder if we haven’t thrown something away to get to that happiness.
I am a romantic. I believe God allows the love between man and woman to be a thing of its own as long as it doesn’t go against His rules. This being said - being left at the altar despite popular knowledge that it is a horrible humiliation I think of it as an intervention of above to fix what could have been a not so happy union. I know, what about couples who do get married and then are miserable? I don’t know. But I have never heard of this situation of being left at the altar to happen (in real life not stories) and to not have been something about that relationship that would make me go “wow! lucky her/him who got left then!”
Maybe in your next relationship you should ask God for more guidance into how to read the other better, find out if there is something you don’t know about him.
I was left (not at the altar but either it hurt) by this guy who had some gay sexual experiments in his back story (that I didn’t know about when I was into him). I wouldn’t have liked to find out about it after we would have gotten closer. This is not something I would have been able to live with. Just one of those things. When he left me and made me feel horrible and guilty about it I thought I missed out a great guy. But, to my standards… I wasn’t.

 

[anon90438963]

Were you literally left “at the altar?” Wow, the unbelievable cowardice of a man to do this. That said, I suppose women have done it to men over the years, too.

 

[YourNameHere]

Well said.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

It’s like the wise monks who practice martial arts who say the stronger person is the one that walks away from a fight.

That’s not what monks say.

However, What a horrible traumatic thing for you. I am so sorry

 

[CatholicSpirit]

Thanks for the condolences, it’s so hard for a man to admit they were in that situation. I’m using some strategies to overcome so many things and prayer is so helpful. Knowing Jesus died for me and blessed us all with Saints to help intercess in our struggles is incredible. Sometimes I think without it I would be completely lost.

I don’t know how many times I have prayed “oh holy shepherd, please tend to this lost sheep in the flock”