The Ugliest Thing to See

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CarmenCatherine

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Just been to Good Friday Solemn.
And at the end, my little sister, who is brand new to being Christian let alone Catholic, not even a year old yet baptised, said to me, “i just got glared at, by some middle aged-old man”
I said “What?”
She said, “i did the sign of the cross when i went in (with the Holy Water) and he blazingly glared at me. Did i do something wrong?”
Horrendous!!! How was she supposed to know? It’s not as if they teach those details in Roman Catholic Lessons. None of our family are Catholic. We are absolutely start from scratch brand new young adult Cathoilcs. Last year they took the water away, this year they didn’t. I’m knew to all this too, and luckily, i’ve endured through enough to say i’m not leaving the Church.
But what if my sister responds to that Judgement and ugly condemnation by leaving?
I tell my mum and she says “That’s awful. Enough to not make you want to ever go again”
She’s a baby in faith. what if she gets discouraged just because of some insecure self-righteous judgemental Catholic?
Anyway, we are brand new so give us a break, i’m posting this just to say it is super super ugly.
Btw there have been saints who have encouraged the wearing of the Rosary.
Last year, (i’m two years Catholic in August so i’m only 1 myself now)
i got glared at with blazing hate-filled eyes, because, i was wearing my Rosary to keep it on me to pray LOADS since it was Good Friday. Anyday, of course, i wear the Rosary to say i’m Catholic and I PRAY. I pray on it loads. I’m sick of this looking down UGLY stuff from Catholics.
Judge not, or you better hope you’re PERFECT.
It’s enough to make me want to quit and i’ve been doing this for longer than she…
There have been saints who have said TO wear the Rosary
and that Holy Water thing for Good Friday, wasn’t taught in either of out Roman Catholic Lessons.
This is bad behaviour, and i wanted to vent. I recognise when i judge others or feel defensively, territorially judgemental, it’s super ugly. I know it’s super ugly.
When Catholics are judgemental and condemning, there is NOTHING worse to experience.
and i bet a whole load of people will reply to this equally ugly.

And a story about not wearing the Rosary? let a guy get to me once, and stopped wearing it, shoved it in my bag with my makeup. lovely. So i was working at the hospital. there was a man Dying in pain. And i had to count prayers on my fingers because i didn’t have it on me, it was in the car a whole hospital away. Lovely. So yeah i wear it, if i’m not wearing layers, yes i wear it out. There have been saints who have encouraged Rosary wearing. There is nothing wrong with it. Tlak about insecure, though i understand the need to be defensive in this day and age. It’s hard to care. But wow! UGGGGLY!

If there is love in a Church there’s proof God is there. IF there an’t love, then you discourage people from coming, you encourage them to leave. Make sure you fulfill the commandment of GOD. Judge not, and LOVE.
Neither is followed when you blaze-glare at someone who is new to Catholic life.
 
+JMJ+

Now why would the man glare at your sister for making the Sign of the Cross with Holy Water? Because of some hokey belief that the Holy Water should not be there during Lent? If that was it then that man was stupid, he does not understand Catholic rubrics and theology. Holy Water should always be available in a church, no matter the season. Stupid non-catechized katholycs thinking that their made-up ideas about the Church are holy tradition…

Do not care about the debate whether we should wear the Rosary or not, as long as you pray using it lots of times. I too am wearing a Rosary for anyone to see, it’s a wrist Rosary, though, very stylish in my opinion, and yes I pray with it lots, and even witnessed about my faith when people complimented me on it. I’ve even given away some too.

Do not care about other people’s reactions, but keep on loving them. That’s the Catholic — the true Christian — way.
 
CarmenCatherine said:
Just been to Good Friday Solemn.
And at the end, my little sister, who is brand new to being Christian let alone Catholic, not even a year old yet baptised, said to me, “i just got glared at, by some middle aged-old man”
I said “What?”
She said, “i did the sign of the cross when i went in (with the Holy Water) and he blazingly glared at me. Did i do something wrong?”
Horrendous!!! How was she supposed to know? It’s not as if they teach those details in Roman Catholic Lessons. None of our family are Catholic. We are absolutely start from scratch brand new young adult Cathoilcs. Last year they took the water away, this year they didn’t. I’m knew to all this too, and luckily, i’ve endured through enough to say i’m not leaving the Church.
But what if my sister responds to that Judgement and ugly condemnation by leaving?
I tell my mum and she says “That’s awful. Enough to not make you want to ever go again”
She’s a baby in faith. what if she gets discouraged just because of some insecure self-righteous judgemental Catholic?
Anyway, we are brand new so give us a break, i’m posting this just to say it is super super ugly.
Btw there have been saints who have encouraged the wearing of the Rosary.
Last year, (i’m two years Catholic in August so i’m only 1 myself now)
i got glared at with blazing hate-filled eyes, because, i was wearing my Rosary to keep it on me to pray LOADS since it was Good Friday. Anyday, of course, i wear the Rosary to say i’m Catholic and I PRAY. I pray on it loads. I’m sick of this looking down UGLY stuff from Catholics.
Judge not, or you better hope you’re PERFECT.
It’s enough to make me want to quit and i’ve been doing this for longer than she…
There have been saints who have said TO wear the Rosary
and that Holy Water thing for Good Friday, wasn’t taught in either of out Roman Catholic Lessons.
This is bad behaviour, and i wanted to vent. I recognise when i judge others or feel defensively, territorially judgemental, it’s super ugly. I know it’s super ugly.
When Catholics are judgemental and condemning, there is NOTHING worse to experience.
and i bet a whole load of people will reply to this equally ugly.

And a story about not wearing the Rosary? let a guy get to me once, and stopped wearing it, shoved it in my bag with my makeup. lovely. So i was working at the hospital. there was a man Dying in pain. And i had to count prayers on my fingers because i didn’t have it on me, it was in the car a whole hospital away. Lovely. So yeah i wear it, if i’m not wearing layers, yes i wear it out. There have been saints who have encouraged Rosary wearing. There is nothing wrong with it. Tlak about insecure, though i understand the need to be defensive in this day and age. It’s hard to care. But wow! UGGGGLY!

If there is love in a Church there’s proof God is there. IF there an’t love, then you discourage people from coming, you encourage them to leave. Make sure you fulfill the commandment of GOD. Judge not, and LOVE.
Neither is followed when you blaze-glare at someone who is new to Catholic life.
Click to expand...
forgive them

pray for them

educate them

and keep doing what you do , especially with the rosary

if anyone gives you any guff quote Matthew 7:1-2

1Judge not, that you may not be judged,
2 For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again.
 
I suggest you pray for yourself as well that you are slower to anger- it’s true that God is love, and where there is love, there is God. So show love…and patience. You may feel unsure of yourself but with God’s help you will let the judgements slide and do what you are called to do. We all must find our own way. 👍
 
You may find people who glare everywhere, so don’t let that bother you.

To leave the Catholic Church because some angry fellow glared at you is like winning the biggest prize in the lottery and not going to get it because you don’t like the cashier!

You did not become Catholic because of the people but because you love Jesus and want to be in the Church He founded.

So please do not let this bad experience get to you!

As someone suggested in this post, forgive and pray and move on.

Alma
 
Its the hardest thing to turn the other cheek and to pray for those who persecute you - but this is what we are called to do. Also we are meant to offer up our sufferings to unite them with Our Lord, and to offer them for the souls in purgatory who cannot pray for themselves.
I think Our Lord said, the road to life is narrow and difficult… But hey, tomorrow is a new day. 🙂
 
Joy2day said:
Its the hardest thing to turn the other cheek and to pray for those who persecute you - but this is what we are called to do. Also we are meant to offer up our sufferings to unite them with Our Lord, and to offer them for the souls in purgatory who cannot pray for themselves.
I think Our Lord said, the road to life is narrow and difficult… But hey, tomorrow is a new day. 🙂
Click to expand...
This 👍
 
nuntym said:
+JMJ+

Now why would the man glare at your sister for making the Sign of the Cross with Holy Water? Because of some hokey belief that the Holy Water should not be there during Lent? If that was it then that man was stupid, he does not understand Catholic rubrics and theology. Holy Water should always be available in a church, no matter the season.
Click to expand...
She said it was the Good Friday Service so there should have been no Holy Water since it’s removed at the end the Mass of the Lord’s Supper and replaced at the end of the Vigil or after the last of the Easter Masses if there is a sprinkling rite. Obviously someone at that parish forgot to empty the stoups.

That said, I don’t see why anyone would glare at someone who blessed themselves upon entering the church, regardless of whether they reached for Holy Water or not. And I can guarantee that many a cradle Catholic will reach for the Holy Water stoops when they come into the church this afternoon although they have come to the Good Friday services all their lives, it’s an automatic gesture when you enter the church – if you’re used to having a stoup or font at the entrance.
 
CarmenCatherine said:
Just been to Good Friday Solemn.
And at the end, my little sister, who is brand new to being Christian let alone Catholic, not even a year old yet baptised, said to me, “i just got glared at, by some middle aged-old man”
I said “What?”
She said, “i did the sign of the cross when i went in (with the Holy Water) and he blazingly glared at me. Did i do something wrong?”
Horrendous!!! How was she supposed to know? It’s not as if they teach those details in Roman Catholic Lessons. None of our family are Catholic. We are absolutely start from scratch brand new young adult Cathoilcs. Last year they took the water away, this year they didn’t. I’m knew to all this too, and luckily, i’ve endured through enough to say i’m not leaving the Church.
But what if my sister responds to that Judgement and ugly condemnation by leaving?
I tell my mum and she says “That’s awful. Enough to not make you want to ever go again”
She’s a baby in faith. what if she gets discouraged just because of some insecure self-righteous judgemental Catholic?
Anyway, we are brand new so give us a break, i’m posting this just to say it is super super ugly.
Btw there have been saints who have encouraged the wearing of the Rosary.
Last year, (i’m two years Catholic in August so i’m only 1 myself now)
i got glared at with blazing hate-filled eyes, because, i was wearing my Rosary to keep it on me to pray LOADS since it was Good Friday. Anyday, of course, i wear the Rosary to say i’m Catholic and I PRAY. I pray on it loads. I’m sick of this looking down UGLY stuff from Catholics.
Judge not, or you better hope you’re PERFECT.
It’s enough to make me want to quit and i’ve been doing this for longer than she…
There have been saints who have said TO wear the Rosary
and that Holy Water thing for Good Friday, wasn’t taught in either of out Roman Catholic Lessons.
This is bad behaviour, and i wanted to vent. I recognise when i judge others or feel defensively, territorially judgemental, it’s super ugly. I know it’s super ugly.
When Catholics are judgemental and condemning, there is NOTHING worse to experience.
and i bet a whole load of people will reply to this equally ugly.

And a story about not wearing the Rosary? let a guy get to me once, and stopped wearing it, shoved it in my bag with my makeup. lovely. So i was working at the hospital. there was a man Dying in pain. And i had to count prayers on my fingers because i didn’t have it on me, it was in the car a whole hospital away. Lovely. So yeah i wear it, if i’m not wearing layers, yes i wear it out. There have been saints who have encouraged Rosary wearing. There is nothing wrong with it. Tlak about insecure, though i understand the need to be defensive in this day and age. It’s hard to care. But wow! UGGGGLY!

If there is love in a Church there’s proof God is there. IF there an’t love, then you discourage people from coming, you encourage them to leave. Make sure you fulfill the commandment of GOD. Judge not, and LOVE.
Neither is followed when you blaze-glare at someone who is new to Catholic life.
Click to expand...
Do you really think that they would leave the Church because one man gave your sister a dirty look?
 
This is wonderful, because you have been given an opportunity to both pray for this man, and recognize that you are not responsible to him. You can also use these opportunities to reflect upon your reaction, and determine what a Christian reaction should be.

Persecution is not limited to outside the church.
 
first of all, thankyou to the friendly answers.
i’m NOT angry as i write this, but upset because this is confrontation and any fool can quarrel. not all of you were very supportive or friendly, so i hope that you take your own advice as well and examine yourselves too. if you want to read some sort of attitude when i’m time bitten, so be it. what people say and do is all about them and so little to do wtih anyone else or anything else. No excuses.
I hope that others are more charitable and generous with time and patience when you are irritable yourselves. I’m capable of a great load of love and kindness and self-sacrifice. I have proved this, and probably shouldn’t have lived through it and have to resort to saying so. In the grave i’d forever have proved what i believe in. So saying i’m an angry kid is judgement, and i’d respect the judgements that are Reserved and slow then the ones handed out so price-free.
Secondly, i wasn’t exceptionally angry or unchristian about it, thanks. I am Christian i pray for myself and others and am a big fan of self-improvement.
i was defending my sister from bad behaviour from others who say they know better but do it not.
i have lost my family either from when i become christian or catholic
so i’m very sensitive to persecution and those down-ward looks people give. i examine my reaction all the time. but i’m 24 and am a rape and torture victim. i am extraordinarly forgiving but you’ll have me at my momentary worst right now because i’m passionate. tenacious and anxious. and that is why i’m a leader of 25.
thirdly, yes, we both are ready to leave the church and ‘chrisitanity’ because people are cruel and nasty. so much for family.
Wouldn’t be the first time i’ve been outted, so i don’t care.
What matters is that i love God and nothing on earth or in hell can shift that. So no, i don’t need to be reminded that there is a God and nothin else matters half as much as He and that i’ve followed him.
So thanks for the love. because yes, now i am getting angry.
Thanks for once again imposing a set of rules and standards you by no means meet yourself.
Straighten out yourself before you try to fix others.
So you never get angry about other people acting low?
And yes, i forgive them and i forgive you.
Just now i’m leaving this site.
and plenty of people who come to university in this town have left the faith because the catholics in this city aren’t friendly.
i’ve experienced that first hand and so has my sister.
i quit.
my mother was abused by priests and that evil stains us and she doesn’t go to church because of it. but she loves God.
my other sister is an atheist, so the story of the judgemental looks went down well.

perhaps consider if yourselves don’t always sound so lovely in text neither, since we’re all offering friendly advice here? For the most part we are family and i’ll pray for you all, choosing to believe that you all were meaning humility and understanding and empathy and love and to genuinely help.
The friendly ones did help, since i needed love and support not judgement in order to simmer down and remember that people fail but we are still family.

love and God bless.
 
Please stay! 👋
I’m new here and also in Australia.

I’ve had a fair bit of experience on discussion boards…take a deep breath and know that as long as you stay true to yourself and to God, you will be OK. 🙂
 
Carmen,
I’m so sorry for the difficulties and hurt you have experienced here and elsewhere. I truly am and apologize for anyone whose words have caused you pain, hurt and doubt. … Please don’t let these experiences dissuade you from the path you have found and began to walk. It’s well worth every step and I speak from walking a very rocky, coarse road myself.

I understand ( or at least my guess is ) that you posted here in hopes of venting and reaching an understanding of why this hurt / insult occurred to your loved one and hoping for some support and understanding. If I am wrong, sorry. Anyway, I understand where you are coming from and also understand your hurt, frustration and anger. I’ve been there… I’ve been the new person trying to learn at the church and I’ve been in your position trying to vent and hoping for help and understanding. As you posted- I’m also passionate, tenacious, anxious , etc. I was attacked, held against my will for several hours in a house and finally jumped from a moving vehicle to escape and then walked for two - three hours with no shoes or jacket in pouring rain with the temperature at freezing levels trying to find help. I understand. I understand being quick to defend others and always on guard. I’m so very sorry for what you went through in the past, but please know there are people who do understand and care.

My two cents ~Regarding the holy water~ not all churches remove this during lent. In fact there at least three in my area that do not remove the water. Also, I’ve walked in the chapel with my priest during lent to pray and he blessed himself with it and made the sign of the cross before entering. 🙂 I was so concerned I was going o make a mistake I made him enter before me so I could quietly follow his lead ~ lol! So , this person who hurt your sister, do not let it trouble you. You will find people like this everywhere in every denomination. Been there, been hurt, been mad, got the t-shirt. People are people. Not all ( or many) meet our hopes, but along the way you will meet some that far outweigh the negative experiences. You mentioned wearing the rosary. I wear one as well. You know why and what is in your heart when wearing it as does Christ. Forget about the others and what they say. As a person who has been through much, it brings me great comfort and peace as well as it is always handy when I need it. 🙂

Being a new Catholic is difficult in many ways. Friends and family aren’t always supportive or can even be outright offensive. Sometimes, long time Catholics often assume everyone is a cradle Catholic and should know all the ropes so to speak and if you don’t , we’ll then you’re being disrespectful or ignorant. or… When you try to vent anonymously on a forum- Sometimes well meaning words and suggestions just come across irritating as everything or seem outright insulting to what your belief and love of God is in your heart. Most people here mean well and are trying to offer a helping hand in a quick manner to the best they are able. Sometimes, myself included, we just don’t think or pray before we post…

My hopes and prayers are with you and your sister. I hope after some time you decide to post here as you have much to offer. My biggest prayer is that you never lose site of God’s love for you or let others well meaning or not separate you from this love and protection.
God Bless~
 
With a cooler head, I’d say I could say
It does not seem to be Christian to come across as talking down to someone as if they are a child that knows nothing.
It doesn’t seem to be Christian to say “Be Christian” But rather, to show it by being it yourself.
Thusly, I would come across someone angry myself and think “ah, they are angry. That’s pain and fear, so I don’t think giving them more to be angry about makes me a good person. So lets love them, and be kind and patient with them. THATS CHRISTIAN.”

Thankyou for your replies if you didn’t mean to talk down to me or to be little my faith or how much I do actually know.

Food for thought? I suggest it should be so.

Love and light, God Bless.
 
A couple of thoughts, the man could have been glaring because he suddenly realised the Holy Water font should have been emptied (maybe he was supposed to do that and was super angry with himself for forgetting)? Maybe he was in sudden pain from something quite unrelated to your sister?

And, if that was truly the ugliest thing you have ever seen, then both you and your sister have truly led blessed lives and should not lose your peace and dignity over someone scowling.
 
Just so you know, I am not comparing this guy to Judas but, as the saying goes, “Don’t leave Jesus because of Judas.”
 
On behalf of those who gave you a ugly look - I am very sorry. God loves you very much Carmen and I know that it hasn’t been easy these days for you. I get judged all the time by people that know me or don’t - even my own family. But they don’t know what I had been going through.

Just know that even if the world may hate you, they hated Jesus first. Don’t worry about what kind of looks people give you because they don’t know what they are doing.

I really know that you have a genuine warm heart, and you are stronger with Jesus after the tortures and torments that have happened to you.

If I saw you there at the Church at that time - I would have smiled and given you a big warm hug!

Just remember also that people are prone to making mistakes and unjustly judging us - Only God knows you - so He has the only right to judge you.

Through the most darkest hours of your life, He is keeping count of your every tears.

When you receive Him in the Holy Eucharist - It will be only you and Him. You are precious to God, and that closeness is found in the Holy Sacrament that God had given to us for over 2,000 years.

I welcome you into the Church, and I know that you will only grow in closer communion with God 🙂
 
Sorry that happened to you, I agree with what Mike said, except for the hugging part, I’m not big on hugging. 😃

You do need to consider this though, I had an uncle that ALWAYS looked mad, it happened that when he was younger he was in a very serious auto accident, almost died, had a plate of some sort in his head and it was rare you ever saw him smile. My own husband has suffered with seizures and the same applies to him, he rarely looks happy, but I know him and know when he is. Sometimes, some people are affected by things that we don’t know about, and they look mad when they aren’t at all. Just saying that it may be something like that is all. 🤷
 
My mouth doesn’t show that I’m smiling when I am, much of the time. Maybe the same is true of him. As men age many men get bushy eyebrows so they always look like they’re scowling. Maybe he was really thinking of how cute your sister looked but looked otherwise.

Wearing the rosary isn’t considered wrong by many Catholics anyway. It’s a sign of devotion to the Mother of God (and always having it with you when you can pray it). Many consecrated religious men and women wear the rosary so they can pray it often. You aren’t wrong!

Please stay here. We want you.
 
Some folks just happen to have very nasty temperments no matter where they are. I usher and at one mass someone chewed me out because I tried to fit a few more people in their pew. I tried to apologize and got several snide remarks back… the ‘lady’ stalked off in huff…You get all kinds even in a Catholic Church.

IF I was anywhere else, I would have blasted her big time…but I held my tongue and just chalked it up to one of those things. It’s not like they pay us a ton of money to help out at mass.
 
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