The (un)importance of single, working women?

[graceandglory]

Some of us women can’t have children. What are we? Chopped liver?

No, Sweet Pathia,
you are the bride of Christ!!

Have you read “Good News for Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West yet?

Here’s a Bible verse I found and thought of you.

Isaiah 62:2-4
***You shall be called by a new name pronounced by the mouth of the LORD.

You shall be a glorious crown in the hand of the LORD, a royal diadem held by your God.

No more shall men call you "Forsaken," or your land "Desolate," But you shall be called "My Delight," and your land "Espoused." For the LORD delights in you, and makes your land his spouse.

As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; And as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you.***

youtube.com/watch?v=HyhsSFT6A5k
I will change your name.
You will no longer be called,
Wounded, Outcast, Lonely, or Afraid.
I will change your name,
Your new name will be,
Confidence, Joyfulness,
Overcoming one,
Faithfulness, Friend of God,
One who seeks My face.

 

[mark_a]

I am not married. I don’t have kids. I’m not even dating anyone, nor do I want to be in any type of relationship right now. I am a young, single, working woman in the non-profit sector (the arts, to be more specific) and I love my job. I love my work, in every way. I have great friends, great relationships, and in fact feel very free and at liberty to go anywhere (I’m submitting my resume to a couple touring companies) and do anything.

Frankly, I don’t know if I’ll ever get married, or at least not anytime in the near future. It’s just not one of my “life goals” so to speak.

Does this make me less of a Christian, and if I converted, would it make me a less important Catholic?

Not in my book it doesn’t.

Would I be looked down upon by the church because I like working and feel that this is where my ministry and my work for God lies?

Only by idiots.

I started thinking about this because of a comment Ms. Purvis made on her hour. She was talking about a woman she worked with who left Corporate America becuase she wanted to take care of her kids. Ms. Purvis told how she reassured this woman by saying, “You are doing more good than anyone could ever do in Corporate America by staying home to raise your kids.”

Ms.Purvis most likely meant that raising one’s own kids is more important than staying in the glitzy job and having someone else raise your kids.

I just don’t see how this can be true in every case! We NEED women in the corporate world, desparately! How does it make someone more important than me, becuase they’re choosing to get married and have kids, and I’m not?

No one is more important than you in God’s eyes.

Just because I’m not and may not ever be a mother means that I’m not as good and that I’m not advancing the kingdom of God in this world??

Not at all.

 

[Antegin]

Factoid: The woman to man ratio in the Washington Metropolitan area is 7:1. The Washington Metropolitan Area does not have polygimous cults marrying 7 women to one man. We certainly do not have 6 nuns for every woman. Statistically, if men and women are following the rules of marriage and especially the concept of monogamy. someone is going to be single.

Sanctity is to be found in all walks of life. The secret is to live that life according to the specific calling. Priests are priests, religious are religious, the laity are

• married with children
• married without children
• unmarried with children
• unmarried without children

All of these states could lead to a holy life. There are many examples of married women, women with children, fallen women converted and consecrated women especially are all showcased in the lives of the saints. I don’t know of any single women’s lives who are chronicled in anything except Comics (and then nothing about them is real including their lives or their bodies!)

Vatican II made it clear that single people unsupported by the rigors of the religious life or priesthood, while being free to do works of charity and live lives of service, would have a rough row to hoe making sure the spitual or interior life was the fuel for the charitable works that single people have more time and money to support.

The Church needs to address the spirituality of the unwed woman. World wide the ratio of men to women is 2:7 and the average life expectancy for the man is 12 years shorter than the human female. Except for those countries where baby girls are being purposely exterminated, if marriage rules are being followed there are single women a valuable resource seriously underutilized.

 

[leftistdestroye]

pathia;3638681]

Some of us women can’t have children. What are we? Chopped liver?

No, that is tragic. But for clarity purposes, I focus on the majorities when determining societal policy.

 

[leftistdestroye]

pathia;3639041]

Given their posting history I’m not so sure.

Funny.

 

[Dale_M]

Factoid: The woman to man ratio in the Washington Metropolitan area is 7:1.

Antegin, that is an awfully large number so I decided to double check it. I hope you don’t mind.

According to the 2000 US Census, for ages 15 and up, the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women in Washington DC is 82. If I figured this correctly it would mean for every 10 unmarried men, there are about 12 unmarried women.
census.gov/population/cen2000/phc-t27/tab05.pdf

It still is a large number, so yes, even if every male married some women would still be unwed. Guys just die faster than women do.

BTW, I also checked the data for all men and all women in DC. The ratio of males to females is 89, so that would mean for every 10 males, there are 11 females.
www-atlas.usgs.gov/articles/people/IMAGES/gender-tbl1.gif
But, of course, that includes boys and girls, as well as married couples.

 

[Antegin]

According to the 2000 US Census, for ages 15 and up, the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women in Washington DC is 82. If I figured this correctly it would mean for every 10 unmarried men, there are about 12 unmarried women.
census.gov/population/cen2000/phc-t27/tab05.pdf

www-atlas.usgs.gov/articles/people/IMAGES/gender-tbl1.gif
But, of course, that includes boys and girls, as well as married couples.

Census data is notoriuosly skewed toward the “normal” populations. The data is a subjective collection voluntarily turned in by “normal” populations. As a results critical populations are underrepresented or not represented at all such as immigrants -legal or illegal; those who don’t speak English, the homeless, people who don’t have a lease for where they live. I for one was not represented in 2000 because my lodging was provided as apart of my compensation package.

Emergency room data on the otherhand is more reliable because all the populations are represented at least by race and gender even if the name provided is frequently a work of fiction and viruses and bacteria are equal opportunity offenders where the two sexes are concerned.

 

[strngrnrth]

The single male/single female stats have big real-world problems. For example, women are much more likely to be over 65 and four times more likely to be over 80. Poeple looking for spouses are usually under those ages. In fact, up to age 30, single men slightly outnumber single women. That’s the age when most people marry. I’m sorry I can’t remember where I got this info. It was a long time ago. But it stuck in my mind. My city actually has more men than women.

 

[Salonika]

Having had some time to browse came across this thread and as an older single working woman have enjoyed reading it, especially as it endorses singleness as a valid choice.

My positive attitude to singleness is partly a result of the positive role model of unmarried aunts and great aunts who had full lives and contributed to church, society and family. It was also influenced by seeing the unhappiness of some relatives who had married “because it was the thing to do” and were so much less happy than single women like my aunts and great aunts.

There are times when there are different expectations for single people (male and female) than married people, especially those with children. These include being expected to fill in when people with children are unable to work overtime, work extra hours with little or no notice or postpone leave (if you don’t have bookings and are going away alone) because “it won’t matter as you can go some other time”.

A final comment – I was amused last year on Mother’s Day when all mothers were asked to stand and when I didn’t someone said to me “and how can someone as nice as you not be a mother?.

 

[Tinajo]

Thank-you so much for starting this thread. I have been thinking about these issues since last October. I had attended a Theology of the Body seminar. If any of you are familiar with Theology of the Body, it pretty much covers only married people and people living a consecrated life (they called them consecrated virgins). I felt conflicted because I don’t fit any category. I was starting to think that the only valid vocations in the Catholic Church was marriage or religious life.

My understanding of the Theology of the Body is that it teaches the Catholic perspective on what the body means, how it’s important, how to respect it and so on… and then goes on to show how this can be played out in marriage and in the consecrated life because society’s understanding of marriage often doesn’t take into account these principles, and society would also see choosing celibacy as ‘weird’.

I certainly never read it to mean that being single was somehow wrong - I really hope that the way it’s presented in talks etc. don’t always leave people thinking this.

I would agree with some of the general sentiments on this thread, that the emphasis is usually on marriage and religious life, and that more work needs to be done on supporting the single life in parishes, but when I was single I was never made to feel less important - and I give a lot of thanks for that.

 

[juliasmith]

You most certainly will not be considered a less valuable catholic. There are lots of ministries where you will be valued and welcomed. The work of the church is plentiful.