The Way You Make Me "Angry"

[jmj33777]

What do we do when the people in our family make us angry?

Do we walk away from them and simply say only what is absolutely necessary.

Or, is that just a little too easy?

Perhaps, we have to find Christ in them and love them for who they are. “A child of God” Man that sounds mushy but actually it takes tremendous sacrifice and love to accomplish. I say sacrifice because one of the first things we have to do when we are confronted with that family member that really irritates us is to ask ourselves why? What is it about them today that is offending me? Why are they such an idiot??? And then once known - sacrifice it - join it to the cross of Christ and ask Our Lord to turn it into a greater good.

Through the eyes of Christ ask if your judgement is reasonable and justified. For instance, does the person’s actions strictly oppose the moral teachings of the Church? That would be a reasonable judgement. However, a “harsh judgement” based on a particular bias that I possess, one that is not necessarily connected to an absolute truth is not a reasonable judgement. And all too often the things that we find irritating about the members we live with can at times be "ridiculous and miniscule. However, they sure don’t feel that way!!!

So, regardless of the method of judgement used or the underlying reason for our anger, the bottom line is, “We can’t stand this person!” And once we learn the reason why and lay those reasons at the foot of the cross, which is the epitome of Love and Mercy for all men, we must then engage that person with selfless love, charity and compassion.

Therese is an excellent example of how to execute this act of love. She did it with the sister who treated her harshly and in so many, many other ways.

That little flower “was” and “is” quite powerful…

What are some other ways that we can deal with loved ones that make us mad? Ways that bring positive growth to both parties?

 

[SMHW]

I know it is sounds like pop-psychology psychobabble, but I think there is wisdom in taking personal responsibility for the anger. In other words, the first step is to reject the idea that the other person “made me angry” and replace it with the idea that “I felt anger when…”.

This does not relieve that other person of responsibility for his actions nor does it make you the “bad guy” for getting angry. But it does place responsibility for managing that anger, whether is is justifiable anger or not, where it belongs: on the one who feels it. We may not have power over what angers us, but we can control what we do with that energy. Hopefully we use the power of anger to discern/solve the problem, whether it is ours, another’s, or both of ours.

I think it is at this point that you follow the advice given in the first post. Keep in mind that most of the time, even if the other person is in the wrong, he was not deliberately trying to offend you personally. And expect that if you need to give fraternal correction, the the other person will most likely experience anger.

 

[KCT]

In other words, the first step is to reject the idea that the other person “made me angry” and replace it with the idea that “I felt anger when…”.

I agree. We are responsible for our own feelings and reactions.