The weekend.

[bones_IV]

She acts like a spoiled conceited brat. I asked her to go to Church w/ me and she refused. But because I “didn’t call mom and dad before church” it’s still my fault. Then Mom said, “you’re not a very good babysitter”. Excuse me?! You can’t force someone to go, common sense tells you that. If I did that, my sister would have only hated me more. It would have done more harm than good. I practically had to drive my sister everywhere, she’s only 14. I made breakfast for her this morning. But oh yes, that’s not good enough. It feels like whenever my parents ask me to do them a favor I can’t do anything right for them. Some things never change. Reasoning w/ my parents is like reasoning w/ a five and six year old. They are that way towards my other brothers and sister as well.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

You are how old??? Why are you still there???

If you live there, move out. Save your money, get a roommate if necessary, and move out. If you don’t live there, tell your parents next time they ask, “No thank you.” If you don’t still live there, you have no obligation to watch your siblings. If you do watch them and don’t live there, then it’s at your place, your rules. If you still live there, well, you’re trapped.

I once knew a guy, an eldest such as you seem to be, who lived in his parents’ home, and he was johnny-on-the-spot about home repairs, raked the yard, did dishes. The parents still wanted him out on his own.

The real test of good parenting comes when a grown kid can stand on his or her own two feet. You don’t supply a lot of detail, so I can’t know for sure. But, as the parent of legal age children, when they can get out on their own, it’s a blessing.

 

[ronnette]

You are how old??? Why are you still there???

If you live there, move out. Save your money, get a roommate if necessary, and move out. If you don’t live there, tell your parents next time they ask, “No thank you.” If you don’t still live there, you have no obligation to watch your siblings. If you do watch them and don’t live there, then it’s at your place, your rules. If you still live there, well, you’re trapped.

I once knew a guy, an eldest such as you seem to be, who lived in his parents’ home, and he was johnny-on-the-spot about home repairs, raked the yard, did dishes. The parents still wanted him out on his own.

The real test of good parenting comes when a grown kid can stand on his or her own two feet. You don’t supply a lot of detail, so I can’t know for sure. But, as the parent of legal age children, when they can get out on their own, it’s a blessing.

Not everybody sees things this way. In some cultures (mine, for one), a close-knit family stays together until the kids get married, or even after that, on a “family block”. Other families simply stay together because, despite their challenges, they’re extremely close and loving.

Why do you assume that it’s automatically better for an adult child to go off and blow his money on some lonely old bachelor/ette apartment, when living alone has been strongly linked to financial difficulty, and even depression?

If this person were having similar problems with a spouse over stepkids, as opposed to having them with a parent over a sibling, would you tell him to just jump up, annul it, and go get himself an apartment?

What kind of “blessing” is it to lose closeness with a loved one over a problem that can be worked out?

Also: Disabled people and poor workers also need to stay home in many situations, too.

 

[bones_IV]

You are how old??? Why are you still there???

If you live there, move out. Save your money, get a roommate if necessary, and move out. If you don’t live there, tell your parents next time they ask, “No thank you.” If you don’t still live there, you have no obligation to watch your siblings. If you do watch them and don’t live there, then it’s at your place, your rules. If you still live there, well, you’re trapped.

I once knew a guy, an eldest such as you seem to be, who lived in his parents’ home, and he was johnny-on-the-spot about home repairs, raked the yard, did dishes. The parents still wanted him out on his own.

The real test of good parenting comes when a grown kid can stand on his or her own two feet. You don’t supply a lot of detail, so I can’t know for sure. But, as the parent of legal age children, when they can get out on their own, it’s a blessing.

Actually living w/ your parents is a blessing.

 

[bones_IV]

Not everybody sees things this way. In some cultures (mine, for one), a close-knit family stays together until the kids get married, or even after that, on a “family block”. Other families simply stay together because, despite their challenges, they’re extremely close and loving.

Why do you assume that it’s automatically better for an adult child to go off and blow his money on some lonely old bachelor/ette apartment, when living alone has been strongly linked to financial difficulty, and even depression?

If this person were having similar problems with a spouse over stepkids, as opposed to having them with a parent over a sibling, would you tell him to just jump up, annul it, and go get himself an apartment?

What kind of “blessing” is it to lose closeness with a loved one over a problem that can be worked out?

Also: Disabled people and poor workers also need to stay home in many situations, too.

I don’t have a spouse.

 

[ronnette]

I don’t have a spouse.

I never said you did. I mentioned many possible examples to illustrate a larger point.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Actually living w/ your parents is a blessing.

Well, then don’t complain about your blessings in a public forum. From what I heard in your initial post, you were fed up with baby-sitting by your parents’ mode or rule. I checked you age and found out you were 29, which makes you old enough to be out on your own, married or single. You don’t have to be there. You choose to be there, and your parents set the rules for their house and their minor children.

Not everybody sees things this way. In some cultures (mine, for one), a close-knit family stays together until the kids get married, or even after that, on a “family block”. Other families simply stay together because, despite their challenges, they’re extremely close and loving.

The OP was complaining about her parents, and their rules for baby-sitting the younger ones. It is the parents’ house, and the OP is free to leave. It is not a cultural point. It is a fact.

Why do you assume that it’s automatically better for an adult child to go off and blow his money on some lonely old bachelor/ette apartment, when living alone has been strongly linked to financial difficulty, and even depression?

I never assumed that. I assumed the parents might like to run their own household, and not be told by their eldest child how to run it. However, if the shoe fits the OP, she whould wear it, by starting her own household, with her own rules, and her own way of doing things. Otherwise, the OP should keep her mouth shut and follow her parents’ instructions
.

If this person were having similar problems with a spouse over stepkids, as opposed to having them with a parent over a sibling, would you tell him to just jump up, annul it, and go get himself an apartment?

You are comparing APPLES AND ORANGES! These are parents, at least one adult kid of said parents, and minor children under the authority of their parents. No comparison. Straw man! Fallacy!! Far-fetched hypothesis!!!

What kind of “blessing” is it to lose closeness with a loved one over a problem that can be worked out?

Irrelevant, However, it doesn’t need to be worked out. The OP needs to follow her parents’ rules for the sibs. Their house, their rules.

Also: Disabled people and poor workers also need to stay home in many situations, too.

Irrelevant. However, in the United States, there are plenty of ways for those with physical challenges to live their own lives independently. And “poor workers” or those with a smaller income, can always find a roommate of the same gender, or even two, and share expenses. And in the US, people can improve job skills and go to college, etc., finding new ways to earn money and more of it, even after the usual age of 18-21!!! So, there is no excuse for bones_iv to stay with her parents and sibs if she can’t handle the rules and methods of her parents in regards to her sibs.

 

[ack]

FYI: From similar threads started by the OP in the past, I remember that he is a guy…not a girl like one poster on this thread assumed…

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

FYI: From similar threads started by the OP in the past, I remember that he is a guy…not a girl like one poster on this thread assumed…

Which doesn’t make what I wrote any less true.

Sorry to change your gender, though, bones!

 

[Catholic90]

Reasoning w/ my parents is like reasoning w/ a** five and six year old**. They are that way towards my other brothers and sister as well.

Perhaps you should ask them to find someone else to 'babysit" your 14 year old sister. I am assuming your parents were gone for the night, since most 14 year olds do not require a babysitter for a night out, and in fact do babysitting themselves.

If you live there, however, you have certain expectations put upon you. Perhaps it is time you moved on if you do not want to live by their expectations.

You are pretty harsh. A “five and six year old”? They obviously knew enough to raise you.

 

[PaulinVA]

Some things never change. Reasoning w/ my parents is like reasoning w/ a five and six year old.

Funny, most people’s parents get a lot smarter when the child enters his/her twenties.

Living with ones parents as an adult is hard on everyone. Is there an overriding reason you are doing this?

 

[danimay]

Awww…come on people. The OP is just a person needing to let off a little steam. Happens to us all sometimes, a little rant. I believe we could be a little less harsh. After all, he is trying to do what his parents ask…help with his younger sister. He’s just feeling upset with the outcome.

I do agree, however, that at 29 years old…unless there are unusual circumstances…a man should be out on his own.

 

[ronnette]

OutinChgoburbs:

You are comparing APPLES AND ORANGES! Straw man! Fallacy!! Far-fetched hypothesis!!!..Irrelevant…Irrelevant.

If you expect that I dignify your tantrum with a response, you need to cut out the histrionics, and start posting on this thread with charity and maturity, until which point, I can’t be fussed to engage you any further.

 

[deb1]

Because it is part of the American modern culture for chidren to move away from their parents, we forget that this is not the norm for many cultures.

For whatever reason Bones and his parents have decided that they wish to continue living together. Of course, if he is unhappy then he should move out but this seems like a small problem. Perhaps his other post indicate that he is unhappy with his situation but this one only seems as if he is frustrated and annoyed.

Even if he moves out, the 14 year old should be old enough to baby sit herself so I wonder why his parents ask him to take care of her beyond making certain that she is safe and gets to appointments? She should be able to make her own breakfast etc.

 

[ronnette]

Well, then don’t complain about your blessings in a public forum. From what I heard in your initial post, you were fed up with baby-sitting by your parents’ mode or rule. I checked you age and found out you were 29, which makes you old enough to be out on your own, married or single. You don’t have to be there. You choose to be there, and your parents set the rules for their house and their minor children.

The OP was complaining about her parents, and their rules for baby-sitting the younger ones. It is the parents’ house, and the OP is free to leave. It is not a cultural point. It is a fact.

I never assumed that. I assumed the parents might like to run their own household, and not be told by their eldest child how to run it. However, if the shoe fits the OP, she whould wear it, by starting her own household, with her own rules, and her own way of doing things. Otherwise, the OP should keep her mouth shut and follow her parents’ instructions
.

You are comparing APPLES AND ORANGES! These are parents, at least one adult kid of said parents, and minor children under the authority of their parents. No comparison. Straw man! Fallacy!! Far-fetched hypothesis!!!

Irrelevant, However, it doesn’t need to be worked out. The OP needs to follow her parents’ rules for the sibs. Their house, their rules.

Irrelevant. However, in the United States, there are plenty of ways for those with physical challenges to live their own lives independently. And “poor workers” or those with a smaller income, can always find a roommate of the same gender, or even two, and share expenses. And in the US, people can improve job skills and go to college, etc., finding new ways to earn money and more of it, even after the usual age of 18-21!!! So, there is no excuse for bones_iv to stay with her parents and sibs if she can’t handle the rules and methods of her parents in regards to her sibs.

Blah blah, blah, welcome to my ignore list, Sunshine.