I suppose so but I was talking about focus on technique, not about having or not having a good one! Being technical is not quite loving and exalting the importance of pleasure beyond it’s true place reduces the importance given to the more important things. This is not so much about people trying to learn technique but those making technical expectations of the other. Wet Blanket offline.
That last one for some can be a really big one, I’d be careful in how you bring up that subject… First and formost poorly handled it can come off as desperation to get married and have kids, even well handled some guys still just feel overwhelmed.
I like plain girls. The problem is that most plain girls seem to floating in their own orbit and I in mine, which I think is inevitable after frequent disappointment and/or rejection.
Sometimes being alone itself makes you a victim. And if anything, not wanting loneliness is a sign that God has meant someone for you and vice-versa. I mean if you’re all find and dandy by yourself all the time, why do you need companionship for?
Well, I think this is going to be a highly psychological explanation against codependency so here goes- stop it Chev (lol). It says the “the two become one.” Not “two halves make a whole.” So therefore to become a whole person one must be able to have some form of independence and stand on their own two feet - especially in today’s society. Once that is achieved and one can look at their situation as I want a relationship to complement the wholeness I have not to make my life whole than one can have a healthy relationship and become one of the two instead of a 1/2 of the whole.
While true, some of us wouldn’t even have a clue as to whether we would be more miserable married than single since it’s been so long since we’ve been in a relationship - much less one where the two people involved are operating from similar premises.
I for one, know that I’m only really content in a relationship. I’ve been in enough serious ones to know that (I was engaged at one point until the man died). My life is one trying to get ready for marriage (even my degree is in education, very child based and flexible for a family).
And I, too, am trying to work on getting ready for marriage. I mean, I’m trying to take care of myself, trying to have money in the bank, trying to advance my career, trying to put money back for retirement. Not to mention my willingness to cook and clean!I for one, know that I’m only really content in a relationship. I’ve been in enough serious ones to know that (I was engaged at one point until the man died). My life is one trying to get ready for marriage (even my degree is in education, very child based and flexible for a family).
Of course, all of these things are good for me, single or married, but I’m not slacking.Once I get my degree, I won’t have trouble earning a living.And I, too, am trying to work on getting ready for marriage. I mean, I’m trying to take care of myself, trying to have money in the bank, trying to advance my career, trying to put money back for retirement. Not to mention my willingness to cook and clean!
I enjoy being single, yes, but if I don’t enjoy it then I’m miserable because I can’t land a relationship and haven’t been able to for years. I have to be independent and comfortably so because, again, if I’m not then I’d antagonize myself to death. Just because I’m single and have fallen into the routine of doing my own thing doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with someone and do alternate things with them. Heck, I’ll even go shopping with her if we get along in many other areas!
Going into Special Educations, every child with a problem is paying your paycheck. J/k. I wish I could be more independent, but I have such a need to nurture that my employees (I’m the team leader) get all the food they can eat. It’s sad really.Okay, so let me see if I got this right (rattles head), are you saying that it’s better to be whole and want a relationship that complements your wholeness? Wouldn’t that just be a bit of an oxymoron? I mean if you’re whole, then you’re complete and you don’t need or want anything. You are content, basically. Why would you want something more?
It can go the other way around you know. Fervent religious, mortified by the diminishing number in the priesthood, become desperate in pointing whatever single man they find in a direction they may not be destined for. They try to downplay any romantic longing in these, yet undecided, single youths in the hopes of leading them to the convent or the seminary.
)There are different types of companionship – some one to do things in common with, someone to discuss ideas with, someone to talk with. A decision or desire not to get married doesn’t usually mean that we do not want and value family and friends.
All I would add it marrying could result in other people (eg spouse/children) being unhappy.
I get a clue from the length of time I can happily live in the same house as someone else (friend, relative) – up to four days is fine after than I am ready to go home.
Just because someone has decided they are called to be single does not mean that we that we do not want other people on our lives or that we want to live as a hermit. Some may, I think more don’t.
Omg! Nope, haven’t seen Shallow Hal…that would be interesting. Have you ever seen In the Company of Men? These two coworkers plan to both hit on a deaf girl and string her along both at the same time and then drop her at the same time to see what it would be like to crush her for the heck of it. (Supposedly to make themselves feel better for the way women have treated them). And they definitely succeed in crushing her. It was a strange movie…
I don’t get it - LOL
Hah! In a PM exchange with someone today it really occurred to me I would so love to be a father and help children grow, while trying to make the world a better place for everybody else in the process. Reading Tolkien’s letter to his son in one of “these threads” right here today morning doubtlessly must have contributed. Plus, I’ve always had this desire of love with a woman, though at the same time always with a very special woman. It almost never has occurred to me it be just about anyone. This at times has made me wonder whether I weren’t seeing things the romantic way instead of the marriage way, but in fact, I seem to see things the way they are seen by the personalist doctrine (and the new things I read about it seem very much to coincide with how I feel).I for one, know that I’m only really content in a relationship. I’ve been in enough serious ones to know that (I was engaged at one point until the man died). My life is one trying to get ready for marriage (even my degree is in education, very child based and flexible for a family).
Except I just can’t imagine forswearing a woman. And I mean “a woman” here, not “women”, because while I’ll attack the soulmate theory on an intellectual level, it’s not as easy emotionally. Same as on some days turning head after the wrong girl feels a bit like cheating on someone who isn’t there yet. Not cheating as much as getting off the track which will need time to get back on as a result.I am not content only in a relationship per say…but it does seem to be where I am comfortable. And I obviously have the desire for it (cloister not for me…I for one, know that I’m only really content in a relationship. I’ve been in enough serious ones to know that (I was engaged at one point until the man died). My life is one trying to get ready for marriage (even my degree is in education, very child based and flexible for a family).
. I also choose a career path that would allow me to be flexible enough to start a family, and allow me to prepare for marriage in many ways. I love my job as it is full of my interests, but I am so very restless sometimes knowing that this is not where I fully belong.In the context of this thread, I believe I used the term companionship to mean a relationship beyond the Friend and Family Zone? :ehh:
Where did I say being single means living like a hermit? If I said that, then I’d be mocking our priests wouldn’t I?
Furthermore, given my definition of companionship on this thread, I can’t say you got my point.I am not content only in a relationship per say…but it does seem to be where I am comfortable. And I obviously have the desire for it (cloister not for me…
I agree with the bolded part. I feel like I’m in limbo. Like I’m a car that’s in idle, and all I want to do is race. I’m listening to music, and a lyric of one song struck me “how many nights till I get life right?” I must be doing something wrong if all my friends are married and I’m not.