C
CelticWarlord
Guest
It’s a slow and quiet Friday afternoon for me, and I still have to put in another hour or two… so… From the book, The Wit of the Irish, compiled and edited by Sean McCann, 1968
- - - - - - -
A priest and a minister were constant but silent traveling companions. Eventually the minister decided the silence should be broken;
Minister; Good day, Father. We see each other often and I feel we ought to get on speaking terms. After all we’re in the same business.
Priest; Indeed we are. You’re doing it your way and I’m doing it His.
- - - - - - -
Father Healy, speaking of his parishioners;
“An ideal crowd - the poor keep the fasts and the rich keep the feasts”
- - - - - - -
The old Father was sinking fast when he was told that an elderly friend of his was dying. He replied;
“I’m afraid, then, that it’s going to be a dead heat”
- - - - - - -
A priest once exlpained why he had instructed his parishioners to say the full litany of the Saints instead of the more popular “quick” one;
“I was in the church one evening and an old woman who is on the deaf side and whispers rather loudly, from praying from her prayer book this way - All the saints on the first page, pray for us. All the saints on the second page, pray for us. All the saints on the third page, pray for us. And from all the things on the fourth page, deliver us O Lord.”
- - - - - - -
The Protestant rector once said to Father Healy; "I have been sixty years in the world and I have not yet discovered the difference between a good Catholic and a good Protestant." Father replied;
“You won’t be sixty seconds in the next world before you find out”
- - - - - - -
A priest was due to leave his congregation for another parish and on his last Sunday the congregation gathered to wish him well. One lady caught him fervently by the hand;
"You are a great man, Father. We knew nothing about sin until you came to us."
- - - - - - -
It was recorded that the father of James Joyce was at breakfast one morning reading the obituaries when he noticed that of a dear family friend, a Mrs. Cassidy. Upon telling his wife the news she was shocked and cried out; “Oh, don’t tell me Mrs. Cassidy is dead!”
“Well I don’t quite know about that”, replied Joyce, “but someone has taken the liberty of burying her.”
- - - - - - -
A priest and a minister were constant but silent traveling companions. Eventually the minister decided the silence should be broken;
Minister; Good day, Father. We see each other often and I feel we ought to get on speaking terms. After all we’re in the same business.
Priest; Indeed we are. You’re doing it your way and I’m doing it His.
- - - - - - -
Father Healy, speaking of his parishioners;
“An ideal crowd - the poor keep the fasts and the rich keep the feasts”
- - - - - - -
The old Father was sinking fast when he was told that an elderly friend of his was dying. He replied;
“I’m afraid, then, that it’s going to be a dead heat”
- - - - - - -
A priest once exlpained why he had instructed his parishioners to say the full litany of the Saints instead of the more popular “quick” one;
“I was in the church one evening and an old woman who is on the deaf side and whispers rather loudly, from praying from her prayer book this way - All the saints on the first page, pray for us. All the saints on the second page, pray for us. All the saints on the third page, pray for us. And from all the things on the fourth page, deliver us O Lord.”
- - - - - - -
The Protestant rector once said to Father Healy; "I have been sixty years in the world and I have not yet discovered the difference between a good Catholic and a good Protestant." Father replied;
“You won’t be sixty seconds in the next world before you find out”
- - - - - - -
A priest was due to leave his congregation for another parish and on his last Sunday the congregation gathered to wish him well. One lady caught him fervently by the hand;
"You are a great man, Father. We knew nothing about sin until you came to us."
- - - - - - -
It was recorded that the father of James Joyce was at breakfast one morning reading the obituaries when he noticed that of a dear family friend, a Mrs. Cassidy. Upon telling his wife the news she was shocked and cried out; “Oh, don’t tell me Mrs. Cassidy is dead!”
“Well I don’t quite know about that”, replied Joyce, “but someone has taken the liberty of burying her.”
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