The world of parents who refuse to acknowledge and address their health

[apromisemade]

My mother was recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Frankly she has never liked going to the doctor but now that she’s getting a bit older that resistance is becoming a problem. She took the medicine the doctor gave her but says she’s not going to refill it.

Her friends who are also mistrustful of doctors have essentially told her it’s probably nothing to worry about. When I try to tell her to listen to the doctor instead of her friends she gets defensive and says she’s healthier than most doctors and nurses. She gets very angry if I use the word “illness” around her. When I try to point out the symptoms to her she insists it’s just stress from her job and has nothing to do with her internal health. Even though her thyroid level was twice what it should be, she insists it’s just normal and natural changes and fluctuations in her levels.

What to do??? :banghead:

 

[heidi_storage]

Unless you have reason to believe that your mother is mentally incompetent, or that her actions constitute an immediate harm to herself or others, you do nothing, as hard as that is. She is an adult.

Well…not nothing, exactly. You can try to encourage her to make good decisions, and use positive language–not “Mom, you’re sick, you need this medicine,” but “Mom, I think this medicine could help support your body’s natural health.” You can listen more than you talk, and you can ask your mom what she’s doing for her health and lend as sympathetic an ear as you can to her answers. You can pray for her health, and for her willingness to do what’s best for her health.

But ultimately, you have to accept that you cannot force your mom to do what’s good for her health, and that badgering her may backfire and put her on the defensive even more. You could send her articles on hyperthyroidism, but frankly I doubt that would impress her, and pointing out to her that comparing her health to doctors’ and nurses’ health is irrelevant would most likely not help, either.

Hang in there, and take care of yourself.

 

[pensmama87]

My mother was recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Frankly she has never liked going to the doctor but now that she’s getting a bit older that resistance is becoming a problem. She took the medicine the doctor gave her but says she’s not going to refill it.

Her friends who are also mistrustful of doctors have essentially told her it’s probably nothing to worry about. When I try to tell her to listen to the doctor instead of her friends she gets defensive and says she’s healthier than most doctors and nurses. She gets very angry if I use the word “illness” around her. When I try to point out the symptoms to her she insists it’s just stress from her job and has nothing to do with her internal health. Even though her thyroid level was twice what it should be, she insists it’s just normal and natural changes and fluctuations in her levels.

What to do??? :banghead:

Unfortunately, you can’t force her to care about her health.

Both my parents have major health issues that they do not really take care of. I do not live nearby so I’m not confronted with it daily, but the only way I bring it up is to mention the healthy things our family does (obesity and sedentary lifestyles are a big contributing factor.) I suspect that there are probably mental health issues at play too, so again I’m not likely to make much inroad there.

One thing you could do, if she suggests it’s all job stress, is to ask her what she could do about that. Remind her that you don’t like to see her suffer and want her to take good care of herself because you love her. If there is anything she can do there, it may not fix her thyroid levels but it would be a positive step as far as self-care. Sometimes we have to do those baby steps first.

 

[spiderweb]

If she is unwilling to take drugs, she may not have the same issues with natural vitamins and herbs plus they generally do not have as potentially dangerous side effects. Perhaps you could look into a good homeopathic doctor in your area or do some online research yourself and consult a doctor about it. It may not be the best solution for immediate results, but it would probably be better than nothing.

Unfortunately the drugs typically only make the symptoms go away, but they don’t actually help with the actual problem. Once a person starts taking thyroid medication, they are usually on it for the rest of their life. If she refuses to take the drugs, you can at least present alternatives to the drugs.

 

[heidi_storage]

If she is unwilling to take drugs, she may not have the same issues with natural vitamins and herbs plus they generally do not have as potentially dangerous side effects. Perhaps you could look into a good homeopathic doctor in your area or do some online research yourself and consult a doctor about it. It may not be the best solution for immediate results, but it would probably be better than nothing.

Unfortunately the drugs typically only make the symptoms go away, but they don’t actually help with the actual problem. Once a person starts taking thyroid medication, they are usually on it for the rest of their life. If she refuses to take the drugs, you can at least present alternatives to the drugs.

“Natural” is no guarantee of safety or effectiveness, herbs and supplements are not regulated for purity and efficacy or safety, and homeopathy is outright nonsense–essentially, it involves diluting a substance way past the point at which one could expect a molecule of the substance to remain in the solution.

Also, this reply is dangerously close to giving medical advice.

 

[spiderweb]

“Natural” is no guarantee of safety or effectiveness, herbs and supplements are not regulated for purity and efficacy or safety, and homeopathy is outright nonsense–essentially, it involves diluting a substance way past the point at which one could expect a molecule of the substance to remain in the solution.

Also, this reply is dangerously close to giving medical advice.

I realize that this can be a hot button issue for some people, but without proper nutrition either by eating foods or taking vitamins, minerals, etc you will get sick in some form or another. This is not my medical opinion, it is medical truth. I suggested that the OP do research and consult a doctor.

I did err in saying “homeopathic”. I meant someone who knows “natural” medicines regardless of what they are called.