Theist among Atheists

[YosefYosep]

I’m having problems being a fairly religious person in an environment that is not so religious. One of my major issues is that my friends are all pretty big atheists and I’m more of a conservative catholic. Every time I bring something up which even slightly hints at religion, they pounce on it and attack it. I really like my friends, and I started hanging out with them when I was an atheist, but now that I’m a Catholic I find them hard to be around, and quite frankly annoying.
Some of them are really depressed, talk about how meaningless life is, how horrible their parents are, sex, drugs etc. Other stuff I noticed, which I didn’t notice when I was an atheist, was some of the crude and insulting jokes they make about religion, race, age etc.
I’m afraid to bring up any of my opinions on certain things they do, because I know they’ll judge me and shoot it down. They think religion is judgmental and hypocritical. A lot of them don’t even know that I’m a Catholic, because I’ve been too afraid to tell them, in fear that they’ll laugh at me or think less of me. In fact my closest friend said to me, “I’ll think less of you deep down” when I told him I was thinking about leaving atheism and becoming a theist.

Please help me. I really wish I could fill all of their hearts with the holy spirit, and give them all my knowledge of the Lord. I pray for them every night.

 

[Lisa1967]

I’m having problems being a fairly religious person in an environment that is not so religious. One of my major issues is that my friends are all pretty big atheists and I’m more of a conservative catholic. Every time I bring something up which even slightly hints at religion, they pounce on it and attack it. I really like my friends, and I started hanging out with them when I was an atheist, but now that I’m a Catholic I find them hard to be around, and quite frankly annoying.
Some of them are really depressed, talk about how meaningless life is, how horrible their parents are, sex, drugs etc. Other stuff I noticed, which I didn’t notice when I was an atheist, was some of the crude and insulting jokes they make about religion, race, age etc.
I’m afraid to bring up any of my opinions on certain things they do, because I know they’ll judge me and shoot it down. They think religion is judgmental and hypocritical. A lot of them don’t even know that I’m a Catholic, because I’ve been too afraid to tell them, in fear that they’ll laugh at me or think less of me. In fact my closest friend said to me, “I’ll think less of you deep down” when I told him I was thinking about leaving atheism and becoming a theist.

Please help me. I really wish I could fill all of their hearts with the holy spirit, and give them all my knowledge of the Lord. I pray for them every night.

Can you make some new friends, who are Catholic, and see these other friends less?

 

[Mustard]

Know exactly how you feel. I used to be a lapsed Catholic, and when I came back and actually started taking it seriously, I suddenly realized how different it made me from those around me. Ultimately, the choice is be a Catholic, or be like them. There really is no middle ground. Do you want to be like them? If not, bury your dead. Accept that you’ve lost your friends, just like Jesus told his followers they would.

 

[Allegra]

Can you make some new friends, who are Catholic, and see these other friends less?

I think this is a good suggestion. You don’t have to write these people off completely, but you should look for friends who you can confide in. By the way, I know this is a risk, but alot of people shoot off their mouths when they think they have all like-minded listeners. (and some people have a really hard time imagining that there is anyone who thinks differently than they do.) If you tell them you are Catholic, they will probably stop saying things that they know will offend you. In time, you might even be able to give a witness. I’m not saying that they will become Catholic, but they might become more tolerant.

 

[Bitternolonger]

Most of my old friends have moved on or don’t interact with me much anymore.

To their defense, I probably talk more about the joy of being a Catholic Christian and having a relationship with Christ a lot.

Its just that I have had such a joyous conversion that I want to tell people how much God has done to give me a new heart.

I am beginning to make Catholic friends.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

If you have friends that don’t necessarily share your values, that’s one thing.

If you have friends that stand against your values, mock and belittle you for them, etc. that is quite another.

 

[tlimon]

I know this sentiment exactly. I used to be in the same position. Here are a few quick observations.

First, Christians are inherently hypocritical. What do I mean? Well, we’re fallen sinners. Our sin is the predicate to the cross. They pierce the hands and feet of Christ. And, if you’re like me, you keep doing it and sometimes they can be quite bad. Therefore, we have the sacrament of reconciliation. The only way we would know any of our shortcomings to be sins is if we have some criteria by which to judge them as such. While we can objectively determine what are sins and what are not, and perhaps to determine if we or another person are sinning, we cannot judge the merit of the soul. This is for God alone. So yes, we’re both hypocritical and judgmental (in context, of course); but, so what? That’s the point! Failing to meet a high standard does not nullify the standard but rather stands in judgment of us.

Second, you are developing in holiness. I can sense it. You are talking sweeter. Attacks against your savior are becoming unbearable. Your friend is noticing a difference in you too. This is a good thing.

Third, accept the insults as blessings. Blessed are those who endure mocking and humiliation for the sake of Christ. Jesus carried his cross amongst the sneers and jeers of similar people. And so do you, in a lesser way. The hardest part is mortifying your pride. When I was an atheist, my friends thought be quite intelligent. I was the golden boy of many of my professors. When I converted, things changed and changed rapidly. I went from university standout to pariah very quickly.

I feel you YosefYosep. I like the other person’s comments about finding Catholic friends. This will be critical. Most people progress toward holiness in a community. Reach out to Catholic friends. I wouldn’t suggest abandoning your old friends entirely. They need you as a witness. Also, it helps to bounce ideas off of people - this will sharpen your skills as an effective evangelizer and help you articulate your faith better. But don’t do this until you are ready and only if you capable. Hanging around Catholic answers should help you.

I hope some of this helps bring things into perspective. God bless, YosefYosep.

 

[lax16]

If you have friends that don’t necessarily share your values, that’s one thing.

If you have friends that stand against your values, mock and belittle you for them, etc. that is quite another.

What do we do when a Catholic friend, someone baptized and raised Catholic, is anti-Catholic in their opinions?

She has not attended mass in many years, was not married in the CC, is vehemently anti-Catholic in conversations with me and in front of others. She has had terrible arguments with people at church when they explain the rules to her, and actually had an argument with an elderly priest over the CC marriage requirements. She states she won’t do or believe anything unless it is in the Bible (fasting during Lent and marriage in the Church are a couple of recent examples). And yet, claims she is a Catholic.

Are these types still Catholic? Have they ex-communicated themselves along the way?

I know I am somewhat hijacking this thread, but I feel much like the OP, except my friend is supposedly Catholic, not atheist.

 

[the_phoenix]

Please help me. I really wish I could fill all of their hearts with the holy spirit, and give them all my knowledge of the Lord. I pray for them every night.

Praying for them every night is a hugely good thing you are doing! Is it the Rosary? Even better!

Also, if you know you’re going to have to be around people who are talking about things that are anti-Catholic, you may also want to pray to St. Michael and your guardian angel, and bless yourself with holy water on your way out the door in the morning. And ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts, words, and actions.

 

[the_phoenix]

What do we do when a Catholic friend, someone baptized and raised Catholic, is anti-Catholic in their opinions?

Hey, you know the advice I just gave the OP? Well my advice to you is going to look really familiar …

Praying for them every night (or day) is a hugely good thing! Is it the Rosary? Even better!

Also, if you know you’re going to have to be around people who are talking about things that are anti-Catholic, you may also want to pray to St. Michael and your guardian angel, and bless yourself with holy water on your way out the door in the morning. And ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts, words, and actions.

 

[lax16]

Hey, you know the advice I just gave the OP? Well my advice to you is going to look really familiar …

Praying for them every night (or day) is a hugely good thing! Is it the Rosary? Even better!

Also, if you know you’re going to have to be around people who are talking about things that are anti-Catholic, you may also want to pray to St. Michael and your guardian angel, and bless yourself with holy water on your way out the door in the morning. And ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts, words, and actions.

Yes, it is very good advice!

I do pray for her. I just wonder if a person can still tell people they are Catholic when they don’t support Catholic teaching and actively bash current members and dead popes…

 

[YosefYosep]

Yes, it is very good advice!

I do pray for her. I just wonder if a person can still tell people they are Catholic when they don’t support Catholic teaching and actively bash current members and dead popes…

To be quite honest, she doesn’t sound anything like a Catholic at all. Sure she might tell people she is, but perhaps that’s just a title she gives herself to feel like she belongs to something. I would suggest talking to her about this, because insulting our faith and then claiming to be a follower of the church is not acceptable. Maybe talking to her one on one about this issue will really open her eyes to see how ludicrous she is acting.

God bless you, my friend.

 

[lax16]

To be quite honest, she doesn’t sound anything like a Catholic at all. Sure she might tell people she is, but perhaps that’s just a title she gives herself to feel like she belongs to something. I would suggest talking to her about this, because insulting our faith and then claiming to be a follower of the church is not acceptable. Maybe talking to her one on one about this issue will really open her eyes to see how ludicrous she is acting.

God bless you, my friend.

YosefYosep - Thank you for the suggestions.

I have talked to her, given her books to read, and have some things I have downloaded off the internet discussing fasting that I will be giving to her soon.

I am giving it my best shot!

 

[CompSciGuy]

Most of my old friends have moved on or don’t interact with me much anymore.

To their defense, I probably talk more about the joy of being a Catholic Christian and having a relationship with Christ a lot.

Its just that I have had such a joyous conversion that I want to tell people how much God has done to give me a new heart.

I am beginning to make Catholic friends.

You say “to their defense” in a way suggestive that you are doing something wrong… lol. This is not the case. It is a great thing that you are joyful in your conversion and there is never anything wrong with sharing that. Keep sharing it with them. Maybe it will get them thinking.

Always remember that we are not responsible for the actions and choices of others, we can only tell the truth and be a good witness to them. Do the right thing, that is the ultimate guide to life; you can’t go wrong either way. If people dislike you or persecute you for doing the right thing, that’s not your fault; in fact, Jesus said that those who are persecuted for His name are the most blessed.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Don’t worry that they don’t take kindly to your beliefs. Prove to them with your love, and your care, and your concern, that you are Christian. Listen to their problems. Feel their pain, because you know it all too well. Remember where you were and look at yourself through their eyes. Look at their problems through their eyes. When you had their problems, what would have comforted you? Don’t try too hard to “fix” them, or it could backfire as if you were vaccinating them against the faith.

1 Cor 1:17
For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with the wisdom of human eloquence, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its meaning.

There will come a time when you will be able to speak openly about your faith. And by then you will have proven yourself worthy to all around by your actions so they will not dare speak against you.

Alan