Theology behind manners and social graces?

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graceandglory

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Is there a certain sense of refinement and propriety Catholics should have?
 
God bless you; and thank you for this thought, Trishie:) .
Our refinement and propriety is defined in Sripture… in sincerely loving God above all and others as ourselves, as Jesus directs.

“Let us love one another, since love comes from God.” [John 4:7]
“Since the Father loved us so much that He sent You to be the sacrifice that takes our sins away, we too should love one another.” [John 4:10-11] “By such love, everyone will know that we are Your disciples.” “Anyone who says ‘I love God’, and hates his brother is a liar, since a person who does not love the brother that he can see, cannot love God whom he has never seen.” [John 15:12-13, 12:35, 4:20-21]

Our love “is not to be mere words or mere talk, but something real and active; only by this can we be certain that we are children of the truth.” [John 3:18-19] Your apostle Paul exhorts, “Do not let your love be pretence, but sincerely prefer good to evil. Love each other as brothers should, and have a profound respect for each other…If any of the saints are in need you must share with them; and you must make hospitality your special care.” [Romans 12:9-13]

“Be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate” even to the sacrifice of His beloved Son. “Do not judge others and you will not yourself be judged. Grant pardon and you will be pardoned. Give, and there will be gifts for you: a full measure.” [Luke 6:36-38]

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you; in this way you will be children of your Father in heaven, for He causes the sun to rise on bad men as well as good, and His rain to fall on honest and dishonest persons alike…You must therefore be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” [Matthew 5:43-48]

“Why do you observe the splinter in your brother’s eye and never notice the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the splinter that is in your eye’…Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take out the splinter in your brother’s eye.” [Luke 6: 39-42]

“Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You; or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and make You welcome; naked and clothe You; sick or in prison and go to see You?” Jesus replies “I tell you solemnly, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me.” “In so far as you neglected to do this to one of the least, you neglected to do it to me.” [Matthew 25:37-40, 45-46]

“Is there a poor brother among you, one of your brothers, in any town of yours? Do not harden your heart or close your hand against that poor brother of yours, but be open-handed with him.” [Deuteronomy 15:7-8] “Each one should give what he has decided in his own mind, not grudgingly or because he is made to, ‘for God loves a cheerful giver.’” [Proverbs 28:2] “And there is no limit to the blessings which God can send you…for yourselves…for all sorts of good works.” [2Corinthians 9:6-8] “None of us lives for himself only.” [Romans 14:7]

“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves…For Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, ‘The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.’” [Romans. 15:1-3] “Malice must be banished from your tongue.” [Psalm 34:13] “Cease to do evil. Learn to do good, search for justice, help the oppressed, be just to the orphan, and plead for the widow. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” [Isaiah 1:17-18
“value yourself at your proper worth. Who can justify a man who runs himself down, or respect a man who despises himself.” [Ecclesiasticus 10:28-29

“If a man is mean to himself, to whom will he be good?” [Ecclesiasticus 14:3].
Growth in Christian self-love is facilitated by “filling your mind with everything that is true, everything that is noble, and everything that is pure and good” [Philippians 4:8] and serving “in works of love.” It is allowing the Spirit to direct your life and then “you will be in no danger of yielding to self-indulgence. What the Spirit brings is…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control.” [Galatians 5:13, 16, 26, 22-23]

“Love virtue…Let honesty prompt your thinking about the Lord, seek Him in simplicity of heart; since He is to be found by those who do not put Him to the test, He shows Himself to those who do not distrust Him. But selfish intentions divorce from God.” [Wisdom 1:1-2] “Let (y)our thoughts be on heavenly things.” [3Colossians 11:2] “That is why you must kill everything in you that belongs only to earthly life: fornication, impurity, guilty passion, evil desires and especially greed, which is the same as worshipping a false god.” [Titus 111:5]
 
God bless you; and thank you for this thought, Trishie:) .
Our refinement and propriety is defined in Sripture… in sincerely loving God above all and others as ourselves, as Jesus directs.
Ok, I’m in full agreement with this.
But, what about:
“Cleanliness is next to godliness,”
“Children should be seen and not heard,”
“Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to,”

Those kinds of things?

Is there a scriptural mandate for minding your Ps and Qs?
 
I think manners are part of human formation. (as opposed to spiritual formation)
 
Courtesy, good manners and social graces are cultural conventions which enable us to interact relatively safely and profitably with persons whom we do not know, do not like, or do not trust. There is little or no “theology” involved, only a set of social conventions. The fact that they act toward a common good (profitable interaction) makes them morally good but don’t look for anything which could be construed as universal. Many conventions are not cross cultural and in fact may hold adverse connotations in other cultures than our own.

Matthew
 
Well, certainly we should act in a manner that befits us (and the people we interact with) all being God’s children, all possessing inherent dignity, and all alike created in His image and likeness.

If we truly thought of people in this way we’d naturally find ourselves adhering to social conventions of courtesy without even thinking about it - we’d say ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’, we wouldn’t cut in front of others in the supermarket or on the road, we woudn’t hog the blankets or eat that last biscuit even.

And better still, we’d have real character too - we wouldn’t gossip about others behind their backs, we’d politely but firmly stand up for ourselves if others seek to cheat us or impose on us in any way, and so on.
 
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