Theorectical vasectomy question

[SBushman5278]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you, and it is theoretical, though there have been signs of it happening in real life.

If a husband gets a vasectomy to prevent further children, despite his wife’s urging that it’s against Catholic teaching and natural law, what can the faithful wife do? Should she refrain from having relations with him, as his vasectomy renders the marital union fruitless?

What can she do? (The husband is a fallen away Catholic, who no longer practices his faith.)

 

[pensmama87]

She does not have to abstain from relations. Still, she should pray for his conversion.

In fact, if the husband were to become contrite for the sterilization, and confess the sin, he would not be sinning to engage in relations, either (sometimes people discuss this as if it were some kind of “loophole,” but then the person would not really be contrite, and furthermore would be committing the sin of presumption.)

The sin was in the husband getting the vasectomy. That part is over. The effect is infertility on the part of the husband, but being infertile is not a sin.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hi everyone. I have a question for you, and it is theoretical, though there have been signs of it happening in real life.

If a husband gets a vasectomy to prevent further children, despite his wife’s urging that it’s against Catholic teaching and natural law, what can the faithful wife do? Should she refrain from having relations with him, as his vasectomy renders the marital union fruitless?

What can she do? (The husband is a fallen away Catholic, who no longer practices his faith.)

Since this is theoretical I think the wife should theoretically get her self tested for STDs every six months or so…

Many times a vasectomy has been used for less than faithful purposes. Since he already has shown that sex for him is not necessary based in unitive marital love, I would question fidelity.

 

[CatholicRaven]

She made it known to her husband that she did not agree and that it was wrong, and the sin is not hers, so she does not need to confess it or refrain from the Sacraments because he got the vasectomy. But she should also not refrain from marital relations with her husband because of it. We are to honor our marriage vows even when our spouse does not.

The wife should pray for her husband and be a good example of a faithful, loving Catholic. And respectfully invite him back to the Church (such as inviting him to attend Mass with her regularly, but without pushing or pouting).

It’s a hard situation to be in, but she should have hope! God is very merciful, if only we will come to him. Her husband CAN be reconciled if he repents and goes through Confession, etc. It is also sometimes possible to reverse the physical damage, but the Church does not require that for forgiveness.

for any and all spouses in this situation.

 

[Blue_Horizon]

She does not have to abstain from relations. Still, she should pray for his conversion.

In fact, if the husband were to become contrite for the sterilization, and confess the sin, he would not be sinning to engage in relations, either (sometimes people discuss this as if it were some kind of “loophole,” but then the person would not really be contrite, and furthermore would be committing the sin of presumption.)

The sin was in the husband getting the vasectomy. That part is over. The effect is infertility on the part of the husband, but being infertile is not a sin.

Not quite.
True contrition involves reversal of damages done if that is possible and reasonable.
Apparantly vasectomies can be reversed in many cases.
If circumstances were such that the procedure could be attempted with no more difficulty or risk than the original vasectomy then a truly contrite male would seriously consider this option and practice natural family planning consequent if it was essential his partner not get pregnant.

It may be true that many priests do not condition sacramental absolution on that condition.
However, that does not let penitents of the hook off their own conscience and it is advice that the priest should counsel. It is a reality that a truly contrite conscience would seriously consider.

Some moral theologians would say that if the above reversal was not reasonable due to adverse circumstances then a contrite sinner would be bound to only have sex during his wife’s naturally infertile period’s so as to guard against a hidden motive of “having one’s cake and eating it too” as there is no down-side but only up-side to getting a vasectomy and conveniently feeling repentant afterwards. The latter view, while valid, is apparently a minority opinion.

 

[rayne89]

The wife should pray for her husband and for the grace to heal the hurt such a decision her husband made in disregarding the importance of her faith and the grace to forgive him. She should work toward continuing to be a loving, faithful wife and pray for her husband’s conversion. Withdrawing from relations is understandable due to feeling betrayed but not required and not recommended as it will most likely damage the marriage further. Terribly sad situation.